OkStupid — September 2, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Seriously, I have too much shit to be doing right now. I almost think I might pull an all-nighter, but I think I’m too old for that. Plus, I have to be up LATE tomorrow night for my Write Club event! Sweet Jesus, I’m nervous! If you’re in the Atlanta area and you are NOT going to Dragon*Con, you should totally come see me perform! Winner takes some of the door money and gives it to their favorite...

I CAN’T STOP

September 2nd, 2010 | OkStupid | Read More

Cold Calls: It’s Not Just For Sales

The WORST thing about dating online (besides surprise cock) is the random, cold-call style instant message. So you saw my profile and thought you might be interested in talking to me? Okay, that’s fine. And then you realized I was online right now? REFRAIN you dullard! If you can’t take the...

September 1st, 2010 | OkStupid | Read More

It’s Just A Little Thing

Before I get started here, I want to clarify with everyone that I am in fact, a short person — not a little person, really… But I’m only like 2-3″ away from getting a handicapped tag for my car. That being said, because I am also a very short person, I think this gives me appropriate...

August 30th, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More

Speaking of Pubes…

Something just tells me the price on this isn’t quite right… I mean, I’ve never tried to calculate how much it would cost to shave a dude’s twins — much less “a hairy Italian bastard”‘s nuts. But I don’t know… Just doesn’t quite seem like...

August 29th, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More

The most intensely erotic experience of your life

Or… Maybe his. I don’t know. The most intensely erotic experience of your life A candlelit room. Jazz playing lightly in the background. A soft bed. You strip down and lay on your stomach on the bed. I apply some massage oil to your back and, beginning at your neck, work my muscular hands...

August 27th, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More

FTWF: Which’a Way?!

Her username? Cougarlicous. Not Cougarlicious. Cougar-le-cous (cous?) Other mentionables: I mean, her crazy eye….s. That goes without saying. She’s wearing a pinky ring. Is that a mullet? Or is it pulled back in a banana clip? And I’m pretty sure that’s a bikini top under her...

August 26th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

Craigslist WIN! Holy Shit.

I… I’m shocked. Seriously, stunned. There is such a thing as winning on Craigslist. 5 Things For You To Think About – 21 (Toronto) 5 Insanely Simple Reasons Why You Should Date Me In today’s modern 21st century society, it’s not new to be floating around the internet looking for...

August 26th, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More

“but i do love big breasts Ilove them all”

Oh, old men. When will you figure out that online dating just doesn’t work for your demographic!?? candyman1945 The Octopus: I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE 64 year old Man Cocoa, Florida Interests WOMEN MAKING LOVE MOTORCYCLES COOKING KISSING HANDHOLDING MOVIES COUNTRY MUSIC About Me I dont have...

August 24th, 2010 | Worst Wrecks | Read More

We’re all in strung out shape, but stay frosty, and alert. We can’t afford to let one of those bastards in here.

Aww, if he wasn’t married this would sound almost human! Wish of a Married CLalien(Intelligent man on CL..lol) – 46 (Eastern shore) Yes, I almost feel like an alien in this strange CLworld! I am a successful businessman, professional, age 46, intelligent and “a classy” alien..lol. I...

August 24th, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More

I’m Not Sure I’d Call This Shy

I am a man seeking a woman – 22 (Ocean city/fenwick island) Just got down to the beach not too long ago. Vacationing off of 125th street. Yes, I am a creep. And yes, my family is dysfunctional. Also, yes, I have not had sex in the past year for my new years resolution. (except with my hand, via...

August 23rd, 2010 | Craigslist Crazies | Read More