Hitting close to home…

So, at my parent’s house, it’s usually a pretty predictable scene (with the exception of some chair swapping, every now and then). Dad hangs out in the big red chair, half splayed out across the ottoman. He stays motionless until he falls asleep. In one chair, my mother is situated, next to the phone with her laptop in her lap. She’s “working”, she insists. I’m in the other chair, laptop in my lap. The boy is usually running around, either outside or in the playroom.

(As an aside, I don’t generally reside with my parents. I’m in between apartments and shacking up here until I scrape together money for a deposit on a new place… blah blah blah… I am not a social reject who still lives with her parents. I’m a social reject who is a guest for an extremely extended “weekend” at her parents. Get it right, yo!)

ANYWAY.

I am sitting in my chair this afternoon. Dad is actually at work. The boy is getting a treat of some cartoons this afternoon because he’s been a peach all weekend. I show mom my posts from earlier today. Giggling, she says, “I’m going to go find you something for your blog,” and she gets situated in her chair, laptop in her lap (duh. That’s why they call it a laptop!)

Within minutes, I hear my mother wincing, grimacing, and going “ooooh!” and she quickly covers her eyes AND turns her head.

I knew it would come down to this. My poor mom. She is reading, what I’m guessing, are some casual encounters listings and she is flipping.her.shit.

You should have seen her when she opened up her first listing complete with penis pictures! She screeched! Seriously. lol… “I didn’t even know they could put that stuff up there!!”

And now, she’s quietly freaking out… Knowing that this is the same internet that I’m dating from. She said “You’re not dating men off Craigslist, are you?” I assured her that, no… Under no circumstances would I ever become that desperate.

I’m at least two levels away from that kind of desperate.

From The Vault