I showed this next one to my dear friend Emily and asked her if she would provide some commentary. Of course, she yelped with excitement! Who wouldn’t love an opportunity to participate in the fun, right??
On with the show!
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Okay sweetheart let’s talk about this ad of yours. You want to meet women, right? Of COURSE you do, that’s why you posted in the Atlanta m4w section of Craigslist. Only – your title has absolutely nothing to do with what you’re looking for. Asking Will someone tell me what i am doing wrong – 28 (Douglasville) leads to blog entries like this one – a critical analysis of your ad. So, let’s get to that, shall we?
First, let’s get rid of the shopping list.
I am a 28 yr old white male.
I never been married
I have no kids ( but love kids)
I do not smoke
I do not do drugs
I only drink on raw occastions ( never at all if you didn’t want me to)
I never been to jail
I have my own cars
My own place
not looking for anyone to support me, just looking for friendship and hopfully a long lasting relationship.
That reads like a Dr. Seuss book. Only Dr. Seuss doesn’t talk about jail and knows how to spell. Let’s turn this into a brief biographical paragraph, shallwe? Like this:
I am a 28 yr old nonsmoker that has never been married. I love children, but don’t have any of my own.
See how easy that was? It’s obvious from the pics you posted that you’re a white male – we don’t need to throw it in everyone’s face.
Social drinker, no drugs please.
Find your spine, sweetheart. If you want to have a beer every once in a great while, SAY so. It’s far far better than saying “I won’t drink if you tell me not to” and then sneaking out for “boys night out”.
We also need to completely delete that bit about jail, homeownership, and cars. You need SOMETHING to talk about on the first date, right? Talk about it then. Unless you live in your Mama’s basement – that needs to be said in one of your first emails. NOT in the ad.
And oh have mercy, that last line… just delete it. Completely. It sounds defensive and whiny.
I enjoy many things such as playing pool, bowling, swimming, horse shoes, tennis, going to movies, listing to music,riding 4 wheelers, siting out under the stars by a bon fire. I enjoy being outside, I mean inside is good watching a movie or playing board games or cards but not all the time, I go crazy up in the house for all day long, have to go out and do something.
Good afternoon and welcome to Too Much Poorly Spelled Information! Or – no, no, nonononono.
I enjoy being active and spending time outdoors.
Get into detail in your emails, or on the first date.
I just like to find a nice female 18-40. Rather be about 26-32 really, I have had very bad luck with younger females seems they never know what they want out of life.
Hypocrite much? How dare you criticize “younger females” when you can’t be bothered to state your own preference?
I only date white girls, but willing to date a mixed girl I think there sexy.
You racist pig.
Perfer someone who did not smoke and someone who does nto do drugs or stuff like that. if you would like to chat with me then email me, hope to hear from you,
We already covered the nonsmoking/nondrugging thing so I won’t repeat it. As your ad is written right now, I wouldn’t touch you at all. Ever.
I am real so I hope you are too.
You are “real” what? and I don’t think she will be emailing you either.
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Um, one thing, Em… You didn’t even begin to address his pictures, which, aside from being a little rednecky (posing next to a beat up truck? dear god!), weren’t all that terrible. EXCEPT for this one:
What. The. Fuck. ???
Seriously, is that a great big giant rebel flag ring?? And are you holding it up like that show Bubba what kind of impression he’ll be sportin’ on his forehead if he ever has sex with your horse again?
Egads, dude.
Thanks, Emily! (You guys see why I love this girl, right?)
