These are pictures that were submitted to me from another single mom friend… I’m very particular about the pictures I put up, but, I guess, if you’ve only got a handful, something is better than nothing??
Ew. Seriously… This post will make you say “Ew”.
Really? You want to go on a date? Do you plan on just scanning in a picture of a date and emailing it to me? Maybe you’ll just cut out pictures from magazines and glue them to a piece of construction paper for me? Nice license photo.
Gives new meaning to the Senior pose. Where’s his class ring? Class of 1908 FOREVER!
Totally candid shot. For real. Notice how cleverly he covered up his face with the shadow from his hat. I wish I could have been driving by when this picture was taken…
Nothing quite like a crotch shot to win over the ladies…
Wow. That’s it… Just wow. He might look slimmer if he was standing?
Track suit from the 1991 Guido Collection. Pick yours up somewhere in New Jersey.
Dude is a winner. Through and through. Look at that sense of humor! The flannel shirt/jacket! He’s got the whole package: illegal, immoral, and fat!
Nothing says sensitive like a black and white photo of an old dude painting. What he isn’t telling you: He is painting pictures of his neighbor’s kids in the nude. Yea….
The BeeGees! Touring in a city near you!
I’m sorry! Did I surprise you? You didn’t hear the floor creaking or feel the trailer shaking as I walked towards you? Please forgive me, oh supreme Redneck. I’m digging that amber glass ashtray. And the Camel Clock. How many packs did you smoke to get that treasure?
Oh holy hell. Mom’s basement. He helped install the panelling when he was 15… That was 25 years ago.
And ladies, this is the best of the best. I thank Kelly daily for sharing this gem with me. This is the kind of thing that brings a smile to your face when you’re stuck in traffic and your mind is going blank.
Ladies, may I introduce you to Bernie G/Singer/Entreprenuer (as he introduced himself to my dear, sweet friend)…
Bernie is available for dates on Friday and Saturday afternoons. He can’t go out at night on the weekend because he’s busy working the DJ booth at the roller skating rink.
If you’re more comfortable, Bernie can also call upon his right hand man to bring his Casio and lay down some smooooth jazz tracks. I also wanted to make sure I didn’t neglect his “panky rang”, because ladies… There is nothing sexier than a man with a pinky ring, right? Who on God’s green earth ever told a man this was a desireable piece of jewelry?? Right up there with bracelets on men. Ew!
And clearly, Bernie has been in the entertainment business for a long time. This picture was taken 12 years and 40 pounds ago. I spoke with the guy who did this photo shoot. He told me it went something like this:
Yes, hi ladies. Why yes, actually, I do have some metallic threads sewn into my suit… It reflects nicely while I’m on stage, doin’ my thang… Let me introduce you to my bitches… This bitch on my left is Ebony… And this trifflin’ ho on my right is Ivory… Mmmhmm… Now you can see I am a very sought-after man… Why don’t you come on over here and see if i can make you sparkle?
/end scene
I’ll be compiling my own pictures from dudes who have tried to contact me. I can assure you, it is JUST as bad.
