I spent WAY too much time on this entry, but c’mon. The boy child was in the bathtub.
Get your scrolling fingers ready, y’all… This is going to be an index finger workout! I copied and pasted this into word and it came out to be 5,788 words… And ten pages…
You go click on the link to read the full essay, erm… I mean ad. He was kind enough to give us, we’ll call them Chapter Titles, so I will be able to break up the longest personal ad in history… You can skim over the text that is this small. I have summarized to the best of my ability. Gotta make it easy for my readers, no? I’ve tossed in a few video clips just to break it up a bit, because, my god. I can’t believe how long it was….
WILL YOU MARRY ME? CEO seeks a sincere commitment 07/2009 SAINT LUCIA! (LTR, Marriage Minded Women Only!, NYC)
Now I know what you may be thinking, “is this ad for real?” but let me assure you that it truly is, I saw another ad on CL placed by another female CEO, so I thought I would give it a try, I mean what have I got to lose anyway, there is still an equal amount of crazy women and men with major issues offline and online too!, lol and besides nothing ventured nothing gained right?. I would like to thank all of you intelligent, courteous, sincere, honest and confident professional ladies for your replies, and yes I do answer every reply despite my very hectic and busy schedule.
[Blah blah blah. Something about why he's making this ad]
IMPORTANT NOTE TO WOMEN WITH SHORT ATTENTION SPANS, LOL.
[If you can't sit here and read my ad for the next 30 minutes of your life, keep on keepin' on]
If you are the type of woman who has a short attention span, or one that does not enjoy reading the words of a man who expresses himself through Music, Film and Writing, then please do us both a favor now and simply move on to the next add! I find it quite amazing when I recieve replies from ladies who say, “Now what is it that you are looking for?” lol.
Anyway no luck in NYC yet, so I am now expanding my search, let me see now I met a few gold diggers in training, insecure, sarcastic, skeptic and biiter mad at the world of men type women, superficial women, and of course (drum roll please, lol) I can’t forget the psycho women, (you know ladies the Fifty emails in one day types, my box was so full that there ws no memory space to even reply back to the psycho woman!, lol I told her look we just met, and it is not necessary to send me Fifty email messages a day, to which she replies: “you should be glad that someone took time out of their busy day to contact you” Me: “Thats thoughtful but fiffty times! Why you could not have been that busy if you can send me Fifty emails per day filled with your random thoughts on any and everything under the sun. As my momma would say: “you got too much time!¨, lol. I said look boo I am the man who is trying to date you and get to know you better, I am Dr. Phil, or your private therapist!” lol) Oh and Ive met a few married women as well, I know go figure, why post or respond to a personal ad if you’re married? And better yet, why wait to meet that man before telling him your married with children from the very beginning.
Your guess is as good as mine ladies. Why do some women and men constantly play these silly childish games is beyond me. Grow up! Whatever happened to old fashioned “Honesty?”. It is indeed the best policy ladies so please use it when you repling to my post.
[He has dated a lot of women in his past. Also, there was this crazy bitch once.]But despite a few bad apples I still remain faithful and optimistic, yes and have met a few promising hopefuls with thoughts on love and life likened to mine and I will of course see where is goes. My business and entertainment ventures are doing very well and it is now time for me to focus a portion of my energies in finding “the one”. My best friend in NYC is getting married in July of two thousand nine on the beautiful Island of SAINT LUCIA!, (See pic below) and he hinted to me jokingly that we should have a double wedding, the thought pondered around in my mind for days, weeks even, and then I called him and said you know what? “That’s a great idea!”. I told him that if I find a wife in time for his wedding in July of two thousand nine, then yes we will have a double wedding! What better way to enjoy such an occasion, then on the beautiful Island of SAINT LUCIA, with my family and my best friend as my best man My potential Wife’s Family, with her best friend as her Maid of Honor on our wonderful wedding day!. Our two beautiful wives dressed in their classic gowns as our friends, well watchers and on lookers watch on in joy. A priceless moment forever frozen in time. I told him that if it happens, then I will sing a very special song by acoustic guitar for our beautiful wives, awwwwww I’m so romantic like that
[His best friend is having a destination wedding next summer and he thought it would be a super idea to have a double wedding! I bet his friend's fiance is super thrilled about that. Also, as a bonus prize, he'll serenade his "well watchers" and his bride with a special song.]
So yes!, I am seeking a wife for a lifetime commitment, there I said it, if you think that she is you then please send a me a pic (Send 2 in fitting jeans and dress that show off your curves) include your best “Junk in the Trunk” pic as well, your number, your ring and dress size, and tell me what is your view of a real relationship, family, and also describe to me the dream of your perfect wedding day. I would like us to meet for a picnic in Central Park! and see if we both share a connection that could be long-lasting. If we meet and connect then yes! We shall marry in July of two thousand nine. I have my eyes on a few engagement rings already
[He would like to have lots of pictures of asses please.]
DON’T WASTE MY TIME, JUST KEEP IT REAL!
If you are not seeking a LTR that could lead to marriage, and you just want to have a weekend booty call every now and then then just be honest and tell me that!. No games ladies, because trust me, I will see right through each and every one of them and dismiss you with the quickness for real. This ad is a truthful and sincere proposal for that one special woman, my better half, future wife to be and mother of my beautiful children, and I look forward to meeting her, embracing her in my arms and loving all that makes her so very very unique and special.
[Blah blah blah. He is ready to get married. I think we all understand that, now right?]
A LITTLE ABOUT ME
I am a very ambitious Black CEO of a new up and coming record label/entertainment comp
any. And yes I am proud to say that have no kids or baby momma drama[I am an entrepreneur and -Name Drop- -Name Drop- -Name Drop- -Name Drop- I want to be rich and famous just like - Name Drop-]
SOME OF THE MANY PEOPLE I ADMIRE
I plan is to build a legacy for my children like my many role models in business, people like Johnson & Johnson, Oprah Winfrey, MADAM C. J. WALKER, Howard Schultz (Starbucks CEO), Jim Koch (Samuel Adams CEO), John Davison Rockefeller Bill Gates, Harvey Samuel Firestone, Martha Stewart, A.G. Gaston, Martin Luther King, Earl Graves (Black Enterprises), Berry Gordy, Will Smith and even Diddy (Had the pleasure to meet him in person at MTV studios, we shook hands and spoke briefly. I love the comment he made which said “scared money don’t make none”) and countless other CEO’s who have proven under insurmountable odds that dreams can come true if you 1st and foremost believe in yourself. These are the lessons that I wish to instill in my beautiful children. I want us as husband and wife to be their number 1 role models, not Barney or Big bird, although they are funny characters, lol. I’m a firm believer in “FAMILY”, my goal is to build a family filled with of “love”, “trust” and “Unity”. I am so proud of my family, at present they are all active key players on my label, even my mother, (and no I am not a momma’s boy, lol and no she is not like Ushers mom either
[More -Name Drop- -Name Drop- -Name Drop- -Name Drop- and I love my momma too much]
As you can see below I do workout, eat right and take care of myself despite my very busy and hectic schedule. There is twenty four hours in a day and you must make time for yourself, there must be a balance, why?, Because you are important too!. If you are seeking a fitness motivator then I am your man for real, and I can help get your body right before next summer comes. I have a fitness video coming out soon full of my personal tips! The stomach area (abs) is my specialty.
[Did I mention I make fitness videos, too?]
I TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED
Although extremely blessed and talented, I am still a very humble man as well, I take nothing for granted and give God thanks everyday for all that I have and all that he has blessed me with, not only on Thanksgiving, but everyday. I am also a man who is also strongly committed to helping those who have not and have lost so much. This is one of my many missions in this life, and the woman I seek must have a heart as big as mine. Money, fortune or fame will never change me, or who I am as a person
[One paragraph to tell you I'm humble.]
I produced a feature film on Hurricane Katrina, to help raise money for the displaced residents of New Orleans and all states affected by Hurricane Katrina. In the wake of the most recent Hurricanes Gustav and Ike which hit the gulf coast region. I am donating one hundred percent OF EVERY DOWNLOAD SALE of a special song I produced on my album to help aid Hurricane victims in the Gulf Coast and even Haiti, four storms in a 1 month period hit Haiti destroying sixty percent of their food harvest. I cried the other day as I watched on T.V. men and women fighting for food, little children with no shoes on their very feet standing in the mud. And yet all today’s entertainers can seem to write and rap about are drugs, guns, weed, bitches and bling bling. And some of you ladies have the luxury of buying several pairs of designer shoes. NEWS FLASH, I would like to meet one woman who owns ONE PAIR OF SHOES!. Okay I know that’s a tall order ladies, for me as well, because yes I love nice heels on a woman, soooo sexy lol. But my point is ladies is this: before you pull out your wallet to buy the designer shoes just stop for a moment, to think about the children I mentioned and to also ask yourself, is this truly a want our a need?. I am one of the lead performers on a special Relief Aid Concert to help storm victims, and I told my promoters that I will not be apart of it if we cannot give back something to Haiti and other countries who are now suffering because of this years Hurricane season. I plan to document every step of this wonderful tour, and we are now talking with a charity about going over to Haiti to help distribute food and shoes to the men, women and children there and I am truly looking forward to going and holding these beautiful children in my arms as if they were my very own, and showing them a little love and compassion even for a brief moment. I have asked all of my friends and business associates to also show their support by donating any old shoes that they may have for us to bring over.
[Bitch! Quit buying shoes and think about the children!]
THE WOMAN I AM SEEKING
I am seeking to hopefully marry an intelligent, attractive, confident career minded & professional black, white, or SWF, (race is not an issue, but why is it for so many women here on CL?, what makes you think that a white man would treat you any better then a Blackman or any race for that matter, you ladies seriously need to put race aside before you end up old and alone with no one
[He don't know what SWF stands for, he just sees it on Craigslist a lot, so he thought he'd include it, too. He also likes Russian chicks. Did I mention he also has an album?]
I am also seeking a woman who loves to laugh (because I have an hilarious personality, producing an hilarious comedy show so I better be funny, lol), who is spontaneous, and sexually adventurous and playful of course, because I have a rather ruff yet rugged thuggish kind of freaky side to my sexuality, it could be that Jamaican side of me. I have not yet explored many of my deepest fantasies, why? Ive been too busy hav
e you? I would love to explore them all with that one special lady preferably my wife with the beautiful heart as big as mine. I seek a woman who is not lazy but active, one who can inspire me to never give up and reach higher, one who can set goals and accomplish them, not just talk but do, and also a woman who takes time to work out as I do. I also love a thick, curvy and toned woman with a little junk in her trunk, I man has to have something to hold on to, lol. Again that is just a preference, but yes I will say it again that it is the heart of a person that truly matters the most. In the end when all the looks begin to fade and gravity takes over, it is about that man or woman being there for you at your lowest moments in life, when you need that shoulder to cry on, when you lose a love-one or someone dear to you, if you God forbid become frail or handicap will that man or woman be there to wipe your ass? Lol or will he or she just admit you in a local nursing home to live out the rest of your years. Well I can only speak for myself and say yes! If God forbid handicapped yes! I would still continue on singing like Teddy Pendergrass and yes I would love to have that special lady there to give me a bath and wipe my ass on occasions, lol Ofcourse! With my favorite up and side stroke technique that I use to love doing myself, lol. I know you ladies now are like, “I aint wiping no mans ass!, Oh gell no!, lol[He likes rough sex and big asses. He's Jamaican. And something about wiping each other's asses.]
SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING:
Sex is not everything although a good sex life is important to have. But I would also like to form an interpersonal bond with my woman, a real relationship, one that supports, encourages and nurtures our true self from our false self. Within the confines of marriage the way I believe God intended it to be, sex can be even more wonderful. I WANT TO HAVE A LOT OF SEX IN MY LIFE, even when I’m eighty I hope to still be going on strong with no Viagra, lol.
[He wants to fuck you when he's a senior citizen. Word.]
DO YOU HAVE BIG DREAMS, GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS? WHAT ARE THEY?
I am also seeking a woman who has big dreams, goals and aspirations, a passion for business and possesses a great business sense, a woman who can think quick on her feet and work well under pressure, a risk taker like me who can handle multiple tasks and take initiative, good credit wouldn’t hurt either, lol. This special woman will be my wife and president of my co. excuse me OUR CO.¨
[He wants to forego the Prenup, and give you half of everything he will one day own.]
I AM DISAPPOINTED WITH MANY OF MY AFRICAN AMERICAN BROTHAS AND SISTERS
“Sadly it seems that many of us have gotten comfortable in offices where we have no power. There are scores of African Americans and among other nationalities who are smart enough, savvy enough, and experienced enough to come together and form one heck of a powerful corporation, yet were all working and worrying in places where we run the show for someone else helping someone else realize their dream. We need to refocus. Our objective needs to be to learn as much as we can so that eventually we can apply those talents to businesses with our names on them. With those businesses, we can then provide jobs for our people and legacies for our children. – Carole R. Simmons.
[An entire paragraph of what someone else once said about something. This is important enough for him to include it, but not quite important enough for him to expand upon it.]
DO NOT LET OTHERS INTIMIDATE YOU
This New Years make a resolution to not let others intimidate you, belittle you or make you somehow feel like your worthless and have no power, because deep down you do.
[Be strong.]
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “by the time we leave for work, Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks.” Black history includes more than just slavery, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and Marcus Garvey & W.E.B. Dubois. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT …
[Obama 2008!]
If it had not been for our many champions of equality and justice, you and I would not have the option of dining in a restuarant along side our white counterparts, or a seat of choice on our local bus, Obama would not have a chance to run for president. Knowing this TRUTH, from this day forth, dont let me ever hear you utter the words “I CANT”, or “IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME?” or MAYBE I SHOULDA, WOULDA or COULD of done something more with my life. As one of my favorite authors T.D Jakes would say: “Your delay is never your denial”
[When he was down and out, the Lord saved him. He can save you, too.]
WHEN YOU PRAY PRAY WITH CONFIDENCE AND FAITH!
Enter a church and kneel down at the alter and tell God all your problems and ask him to take them and solve them, so you can finally release your stress. I speak from experience, I too once lost a job got layed off with others, the bills began to get bigger, the landlord was knocking at my door, I had nothing no one to turn to no woman to lean on and help comfort my sorrow, my busines stopped at a halt, I could not write or create songs or even think about finishing an album, all that was on my mind was where will I sleep and how will I eat. But I tell you all this, all i could do was pray and ask God for help, why? because in this life sometimes that is all you can do. Prayer with faith does work. BUT WHEN YOU PRAY PRAY YOU MUST PRAY WITH CONFIDENCE AND FAITH! Not “Lord I ask you for a job” , but like this:
“OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN HALLOWED BE THY NAME, (give God the honor and the glory first, humble yourself) MIGHTY LORD THE MAKER OF THE EARTH, SUN, THE MOON AND THE STARS AND THE SKIES, I COME TO YOU AS A HUMBLE SERVANT FAITH BELIEVING THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE TO ALL THOSE THAT LOVE YOU, I AM ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN LORD, ONE OF YOUR MOST WONDERFUL CREATIONS, AND AT PRESENT THE DEVIL HAS A STRONG HOLD OF DEPRESSION AND DOUBT UPON ME. I ASK YOU TO LOOSEN HIS TIGHT GRIP UPON MY SOUL AND MY LIFE. YOU SAY IN YOUR WORD THAT IF I ASK THEN IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO ME, THAT IF I SEEK THEN I SHALL FIND, THAT IF I KNOCK THEN THE DOOR SHALL BE OPEN UNTO ME. WELL LORD I AM ON MY KNEES IN HUMBLE REVERENCE TO YOU ASKING, SEEKING AND KNOCKING ON YOUR VERY DOOR WITH A PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM IS I LOST MY JOB LORD, IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE THAT, BUT I BELIEVE ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, AND I PRAY FOR YOUR GUIDANCE,WISDOM AND SUPPORT DURING THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME OF ME NOT HAVING A JOB, OR MY LIFE NOT BEING WHERE I WOULD THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. BUT LORD I CLAIM ANOTHER JOB IN YOUR HOLY AND PRECIOUS NAME LORD, SO I CAN CONTINUE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF IN THIS LIFE, WHILE I CONTINUE TO DISCOVER THROUGH SPIRITUAL EYES YOUR TRUE AND DEVINE PURPOSE FOR MY LIFE.
LORD IF YOU CAN PROVIDE FOR THE MERE BIRDS, AND FISH IN THE SEA, THEN HOW MUCH MORE CAN YOU DO FOR ME, YOUR BLESSED CHILD?. I REBUKE THE DEVIL IN THE NAME OF JESUS!, HE USES THE WEAK TO PUT ME DOWN AND DISCOURAGE ME, BUT HE WILL NOT SUCCEED, WHY LORD?, BECAUSE I HAVE YOU LORD, YOU ARE MY ROCK! YOU ARE MY STRENGTH! YOU ARE MY SHELTER IN MY TIME OF STORM. AND I NOW GIVE ALL MY BURDENS, MY DOUBTS, MY BILLS, MY STRESS, MY DEPRESSION, MY HURT, MY PAIN, MY SADNESS OF NOT BEING MARRIED, OR HAVING A CHILD, OR HAVING A GOOD MAN IN MY LIFE TO YOU FATHER. I DO NOT WANT THEM ANYMORE LORD, TAKE THEM LORD, THEY ARE YOURS TO WORK OUT AS YOU WISH, NOW I HAVE PEACE, AND NOW, I AM FREE. I WILL WAIT FOR YOUR SIGN AND YOUR GUIDANCE LORD IN REFERENCE TO MY CLAIM FOR A JOB. I THANK YOU LORD FOR BEING HERE FOR ME ALWAYS, AND I AM TRULY GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE LITTLE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH. I LOVE YOU LORD WITH ALL MY HEART, BECAUSE IT WAS YOU WHO FIRST LOVED ME, AND WITH FAITH A THIS PRAYER, IN YOUR PRECIOUS NAME, AMEN”[Long fucking prayer to be said in a shouting voice.]
I guarantee that after you utter this prayer to God, just sit back and watch him work his magic
["Witnessing"]
WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY AD THUS FAR, TRUST ME THIS IS THE SHORT VERSION, IF YOU WANT THE LONG ONE JUST HOLLA, LOL
[You think it's over, but it's really not!]
WHY ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT & INDEPENDENT WOMEN STILL SINGLE? If you really want to know then I will tell you:
You ladies are too focused on the physical stimulation, which is why you will never find a good man. You are draining your energy everyday by competing with the next woman for that same no good man that is not even worthy of you both in the first place. Many of you stay in these verbally and physically abusive controlling relationships, and allow these no good men (and you know they are) to control you, lower your self esteem and steal and rob your love for self. Its so sad when I hear on the news of so many beautiful women being gunned down and set on fire by the men in their lives;
[Bitches are pathetic.]
NEWS FLASH LADIES!
[This is the FIRST news flash. We'll have another in a moment.]
CRAZY IS WHAT CRAZY DOES, and you think trying to change a man to be faithful is hard, lol try trying to make him sane and fix all his built up insecurities, that may have stemed from his fucked up childhood lol. Ladies why waste all that time, money and energy on this man? Your way out ofyour leauge, why not leave that job to the professional shrinks and medical experts at the Bellevue mental hospital, lol
NEWS FLASH LADIRES! LOVE IS NOT HURT!
[There it is, I told you it was coming.]
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
[Bible shit.]
This is real love ladies, I speak on this because I had a very close friend who was going through an abusive relationship, I did everything in my power to help her get out of it even almost coming to blows with the psycho, (Its a long and sad story I would need 2 pots of coffee, a Gray Goose and crandberry and a shot of Jack Daniels just to tell it to you, lol) Just think DRAMA! WITH A CAPITAL “D!”. But sometimes a friend has to step back and let the universe set things in its rightful place. My friend has since left the no good terror of a no good man, has purchased 2 homes in FL and is now in a wonderful and loving relationship with a great man!. A man that many picky and superficial women would simply overlook, I kid you not, if I was a woman or gay I would want him for my dam self!, lol. He is a good man like myself, its like night and day compared to her ex!, felaminion and dollar deals, and there is now peace in her life, there is no more tears or drama, and she is happy. Ladies love is not hard, its easy, and this is when you know you are in a true, loving and committed relationship. If its erkin your nerves or stressing you out then simply, LET IT GO! AND DONT LOOK BACK.
[He had a friend once. The bitch married the man that he wanted to marry.]
I am planning a 1 week trip to Florida on business and to also visit my family. My aunt (99 years old, God bless her soul) will be cooking Jamaican food for the family. You don’t want to miss that! Ummmmmmm Curry Chicken, Jerk Chicken with rice and peas not to mention breakfast too! Ackee and Saltfish! ummmm I plan to give her a hand in the kitchen too with the desserts!
[He's going to Florida. He's not telling you when, but there will be Jerk Chicken cooked by his 100 year old grandma!]
WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY AD THUS FAR, THIS IS THE SHORT VERSION BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IF YOU WANT THE LONG ONE JUST HOLLA, LOL or you can wait for my book due out in 2009.
[Um, what? I guess he didn't proofread... Or I'm Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Oh, he also has a book that's coming out.]
WHY NOT?
Why not want to settle down and get married? Why not want give up the player and club and bar hopping lifestyle to embrace something that is far more beautiful, spiritual and eternal. Why not want to experience the pleasure and joy of having one woman or one man in your life, rather tha
n 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6. Why not lower your high and picky standards a tid bit and embrace the logic of compromise, which extends far beyond that someone you could just live with, to that someone you cannot live without.[You're desperate, he's desperate. Why not just get married?]
I CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR MYSELF
But I guess I can only speak for myself as the good man that I know I am, as the good man that looks forward to his wedding day and the birth of his children, as the good man who will be a real man and work to support his children and raise his son to respect women and his daughter to never settle and to respect her body and true worth and power as a woman.
[He is the shit. For real. You should also be the shit.]
MY VISION FOR OUR HOME SWEETIE!
In our home we would eat breakfast every morning together with our children, as well as dinner at night, we will laugh together and pray together, I envision a beautiful marriage with absolutely no violence whatsoever, we will talk to each other not at each other, (There is a difference) we will not hit our kids but come down to eye level with each of them, and let them know everyday how much we love and care for them. As husband and wife we would always maintain respect in the midst of our imperfectness and indifferences.
[He expects breakfast in the morning, dinner at night. He promises not beat you or your kids.]
RULE NUMBER 1: RESPECT
I WOULD NEVER RAISE MY HAND TO HIT MY WIFE OR EVER CALL HER OUT OF HER NAME!
If you do not have respect, then you will have no real relationship. I don’t understand the minds some of some of these men who use control to get what they want, and you women are stupid to stay with such a man!, (if I tell you the true story about a good female friend of mine, who was but is now out of this kind of relationship, you would surely let him go and move on!) I say all this as the good man that yes like yourself, has been hurt by a woman he once loved, yes I am afraid to trust again, but although I am still in pain I remain confident, faithful and optimistic, and continue to embrace hope, with all its endless possibilities which can bring forth true happiness in ones life, if harnessed with prayer & faith (“The abundance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen”). All things are possible.
[Here's his baggage.]
BE PROUD OF YOURSELF, YOU HAVE COME TO THE END, LOL I DID NOT THINK YOU WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR, LOL
[I am proud of myself... It's either that, or I'm very, very ashamed. I'll believe it's over when I can't scroll anymore. Seriously. The longest fucking ad EVER!]
Your probably on your 10th cup of coffee, lol. Well I am glad you took the time to read the entire believe it or not, short version of my personal ad, and did you notice I posted no dick Pics of myself, lol and I did not once elaborate on how well endowed I am, lol
[He is not showing his dick to you until you're married. He wants to give you all his money. Kimora Lee Simmons is a bitch!]
So for now the wedding dress is on hold and I give you my heart on lease with an option to buy, let us both take some time to smell the roses. I look forward to some sincere responses with pics only,(ONLY SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY!) You have seen my pic so (NO PIC NO REPLY!) Don’t hide it ladies provide it, lol
[Send him your pictures. Don't forget the pictures of your ass.]
My parents recently came to NYC for a week to visit me, and brought my Aunt Vera with them who is about to turn 100 years old! And she can still walk and cook the good food, she actually taught me a lot of tricks in the kitchen and inspired my future Jamaican restaurant venture. You know the saying the older the woman the better the food!, lol. I Love my aunt Vera, you should have seen pics of her when she was younger wow! She was hot!!! I would have dated her, lol. And she had class too and she still does, may God bless her. I only pray that she will see me walk down the aisle with my beautiful bride before she passes away
[Maybe it was his Aunt who was 100 years old? He can't remember and, honestly I can't remember either. My left eye is starting to twitch. He also plans to open a restaurant, like any good Hip Hop Mogul. He would totally fuck his own Aunt 80 years ago.]
I have to tell you my mother is getting very excited! She said “What!, find a wife on the internet you must be crazy boy!”, lol. But still wished me all the best with this search, said she can’t wait to meet the young lady I will wed in 2009, said she would cook a delicious Jamaican meal for her, awwwwwwwwww mom! She said she can’t wait for the grand kids either, lol. I would love to give her a few
[His mom thinks this idea is crazy, but she'll still make you Jerk Chicken. But only if you give her grandbabies.]
Do you ladies not see the pressure I’m under!, lol Well my parents have been married for over 35 years now, recently retired and moved to FL. I miss them so much, when they left i was a bit sad, but I will visit them soon when time allows.
[He is under pressure, so he plans on pressuring you. Lets.Get.Married.]
KEEP IT REAL QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey
MY FAVORITE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE EVER:
“A task left undone remains undone in two places – at the actual location of the task, and inside your head. Incomplete tasks in your head consume the energy of your attention as they gnaw at your conscience. They siphon off a little more of your personal power every time you delay. No need to be a perfectionist, that’s debilitating in an imperfect world, but it’s good to be a ‘completionist’. If you start it, finish it…or forget it”. ~ Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu.
[Probably some Buddhist shit. I don't know. A lot of shit about tasks. You can understand, by now, my brain has begun to leak out of my ears from all.the.fucking.reading.]
So I will ask the question again, Will You Marry Me?
Life is too short, No time for cold feet now boo
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Holy fucking shit. Seriously.
I need a drink.
