A little of this… A little of that… Enjoy your day!
Lunch? Fix that lamp? Ping pong? – 44 (Westside)
Financial crisis, foreclosures, stagnant economy – whew! I think I need to run away…how about you?
How about lunch, a hike through the park or a drive to nowhere in particular…just wasting the day? Perhaps you need that sofa moved (no, I am not offering free handy-man services, but for a friend…) or a little more room in the garage and he is just too busy.
Married male (yes, happily. I make no excuses) with an increasingly distant circle of friends looking to make new ones
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees and I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike accordion playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless chutes and ladders player. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy lingerie. I do not perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft flora arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Animals trust me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a cheese grater and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin … the only thing missing is you.
College educated and slightly odd (big surprise there), 44 but healthy with all the original equipment (hey, outta the gutter – I am talking hair and teeth). Gainfully employed but with free time one day a week and several evenings.
Simply a little intelligent conversation and a few laughs and new perspective. Let’s see what may happen.
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I really did want to like this guy because he has a very “Mister Awesome” sort of writing style… But I could not get past the fact that he was married. Why do (happily) married men do this? And further more, if you’re (happily) married, you must have a really fucked up view on what (happily) married means. When I’m married, the happily will stay the fuck out of the parenthesis.
My name is Bond.
Thats right ladies! My name is Bond…Gold Bond. I’m a professional gambler that has made his money bringing down casinos worldwide but especially in Monte Carlo. I’m looking for a lovely chick-a-dee that wants to travel the world in the lap of luxury. We can roll out in my Ferrari during the day and party at my castle during the night. No serious relations wanted just hot passionate embarass your momma wild nights in Monte Carlo. Photo is required along with you ability to like sausage.
The freaks come out at Halloween, don’t they? Clearly, this isn’t an ad to be taken seriously, but really, does this work? Is there a woman out there who will read this and be like “OMG. He sounds delightfully funny.” And then respond? Maybe I’m underestimating the ladies out there… He certainly is… I do like sausage though (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
Real men eat quiche – 39 (Decatur)
Real men enjoy the finer things in life and are well educated, fun and know how to treat a woman with respect and care. Is that what you are looking for?
Hrm. Finer things in life, eh? Like… Window treatments? Throw pillows? This looks like the couch in my best friend’s college dorm room.
NY FINNEST – 39 (ATL)
LOOKING FOR A SEXY BLACK WOMAN TO CHILL AND HAVE FUN WITH GET AT ME MAYBE MORE I LOVE KIDS I COOK IM THE REALEST AND PLEASE HAVE A PHOTO
Well. At least he’s consistent. I’m considering emailing him to show him out to spell finest. *sigh* And maybe possibly introduce him to the wonders that are lower case letters and punctuation. Thank GAWD he lost that jacket.
