If you were a married couple in Colorado…

…what would you be doing tonight?

Watching the debate? Bumpin’ and grindin’? Putting the children to bed…?

Well not Joy & Rodney. They’re trollin’ the Colorado Craigslist for me! What a pair!

Here’s a few of their submissions:

Looking for a CHUBBY man to make me scream – w4m – 35 (80917)

Are you they Chris Farley type? I love it! Something about that is sexy. I am five foot six girl and one hundred sixty pounds. Love to laugh and have a good time. Your pic gets mine.

Wow. Really. I think Chris Farley was very funny. There is nothing sexy about him. Not even here:

The Key To Success Is To Be Consitent Of Who You Are!! – 22 (Colorado springs)

Ladies i would like to clarify that if you are about drama or looking for someone to ease the pain of your ex-boyfriend doing you wrong then i dont want no part of it!!
IM very consitent in my thought and dreams to wat i want in life so if you are a type of person that wants more in life then where you are at now!! Please maybe me and you have something in common there. i live life to the fullest and take nothing for granted!!

lil bit about me: puerto rican and italian, born and raised in brooklyn living in colorado springs now.

Cant wait to hear from you!!

At 22, do you really think he knows the keys to success? And isn’t one key to success, oh, I don’t know, learning how to spell. I love how he posed for this picture on his phone. Like, we can CLEARLY see his own arm holding out the camera taking a self-portrait. It look so natural!

one more time – 46 (HWY 115)

well here i go again.was married for 15 years. we grew apart. im 46 from burbank ca. im an ogpunk rocker. blond hair blue eyes 5-9 150pnds.i have 32 tattos. just looking to see what is out there in the singles world.i dont drink.but i still like to party.hint hint.age is no big deal to me. i dont look 46 or act it. not in a bad way. would like to find a lady who is not a drunk or crazy. last two were. just want to hang out and have some fun. maybe see were it goes.like to be outside doing stuff.but a night in front of the t.v.is ok to
i have a very funny side to me.if you would like to know more e-mail back with your info one with a pic gets one fast back.hope to hear from you. thank you for looking at my ad

What is an OG Punk Rocker? Like Original Ganster? Seriously. He looks like Edward Norton in American History X except not the sexy parts, just the scary parts.

LOVE KEEPS YOU WUNDERING

I AM A VERY LOVING AND CARING PERSON !!! I ENJOY MAKING MY LADY HAPPY THE SMILES AND LOVE I GET IS THE BIGGEST REWARD ONE CAN HAVE !! BUT LATELY IVE BE ALONE SO I HAVE NO ONE TO MAKE HAPPY ANY MORE WELL IM 6FT1 200LBS AND I AM A MUSIC PRODUCER CHECK THE PIX AND GET BACK TO ME WITH YOURS AGE SIZE AND RACE NO PROBLEM JUST BE A HONEST PERSON AND DONT BE SHY!!!

Wow. Just wow. I mean, WOW!!! JUST!!! WOW!!!

Fat, Ugly, Old, Crochety Woman Seeking Male Counterpart – 49 (Manitou)

Hey, I know I got some male counterparts out there. Looking for some spice to life.

Must be single. Crazy is fine, we’ll make a good match. No criminal record and don’t expect a meal ticket. Didn’t I mention crochety?

Like smart men, hate smokers, other bad habits are fine as long as they don’t involve police banging on the door or excessive stink. So you gotta bathe.

It’s good she’s got standards.

From The Vault