Now, until recently, I didn’t really believe the hype. I thought the whole “Black Men on the Downlow” was just another one of those negative, racist stereotypes. And it is… I’m sure it still is very much a stereotype. There are white dudes on the downlow… You just don’t hear about it like you hear about black men.
Anyway, the short version is that my last boyfriend was *in my best R-Kelly voice* creepin’ on the downlow. He was also doing a whole heap of other really awful, destructive bullshit, but for the purposes of this posting, I’m only going to touch on this one little speck of my history.
Getting kicked in the neck with that kind of information about a man you had been with for three years was shocking, to say the least. It certainly has lingering effects. If I see a guy that looks just a little too put together, I always think he’s gay. It doesn’t help that I live in Atlanta, a city ranked third in percentages of gay population, falling behind San Francisco and Seattle.
The effects of my last relationship don’t just hamper on me, either. It has been having an effect on my friends as well. One of my very good friends is always like, “Damn your ex, Jami! He’s got me all paranoid about every.single.man I meet!”
Anyway, wilst trapsing around Craigslist, seeking out people who provide fodder for my readers to enjoy, I come across COUNTLESS men who make sure to include disclaimers in thier ads:
“NO DUDES!”
I found this gem this morning and it just freaked.me.the.fuck.out. Seriously. Excuse the all capitals in his posting (though I didn’t really mind… I mean, this kind of warning needs to be shouted from the rooftops!)
LADIES BEWARE!!!! (Atlana)
LADIES BEWARE!! THIS IS THE KIND OF “DOWN LOW” GUY THAT WILL PUT YOUR HEALTH & WELLNESS IN JEOPARDY!! I’M A HETEROSEXUAL MALE AND I POSTED AN AD A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO IN SEARCH OF A FEMALE. I BLANTANTLY STATED THAT I WAS NOT GAY AND NOT INTERESTED IN MEN, AND TO RESPECT WHO I AM AND PLEASE DON’T EMAIL ME. WELL, THIS POMPOUS JERK DECIDED TO EMAIL ME ANYWAY AND SEND ME HIS PHOTOS!! THIS IS THE KIND OF GUY THAT WALKS AROUND WITH A GIRL ON HIS ARM, BUT A MAN IN HIS BED! THIS IS THE KIND OF GUY THAT WILL FLAUNT HIS GIRLFRIEND TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS, WHILE SECRETLY GETTING OFF WITH HIS BOYFRIEND/LOVER BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. BECAUSE HE CAN’T ACCEPT THAT FACT THAT HE’S REALLY GAY! SEE, IF HE WE’RE SECURE WITH WHO HE IS, HE WOULDN’T BE SEEKING OTHER “DL” GUYS! HE WAS HOPING I WAS ON THE “DL” AS WELL EVEN THOUGH I POSTED IN THE M4W CATEGORY. SO IF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS JERK, OR EVER HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS HIM ONLINE OR IN-PERSON, JUST KNOW WHO REALLY HE IS AND WHAT HE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT!! BE SAFE LADIES..I KNOW GUYS NOW-A-DAYS DON’T MAKE IT EASY, BUT TRY TO BE SAFE!
(There is another picture, here, but I won’t post the actual picture because he’s totally profiling his dong and that’s just NSFW, ya dig?)
The moral of the story: Don’t think that just because your man is sleeping with you, you should power-down your Gay-dar.
