It’s Thursday, y’all.

BORED…pretty sure all women hibernate in the winter – 26 (Atlanta)

Fun,attractive,outgoing and got a job, what more ya need

Recognize this guy? It’s only been a day since he posted. I’m pretty sure the women aren’t hibernating. They’re just steering very clear of your douchebaggery. What more do we want? I don’t have the time, dude.

Masculine guy curious about being a sexy woman… – 21 (midtown)

Ok, so I’m fairly masculine: 6′, 185, toned, lean, blond with a handsome face. BUT I’ve always wondered what it would be like to dress up as a sexy woman. I’m not gay, I’m all about ladies, it’s just this idle curiosity that nags me. Would you be willing to help? Looking for a sexy, tasteful, fit woman to go out, have some drinks, settle back at her place, and see what we come up with. Please reply with a [clothed] face picture and I will also. Thanks!

At first I thought this was just a simple typo in the title. I thought he was curious about being WITH a sexy woman (who isn’t?). But no, dude actually wants to go on a date with a sexy woman and then go home and play sleepover complete with nails and makeup and costume changes? Whoever answers this ad needs to be about 6′ tall and 185 lbs, otherwise this crossdresser-to-be will stretch the hell out of your knitwear.

CERTIFIED GENT SEEKING SOPHISTICATED CREATIVE ALTERNATIVES ??? – 30 (SUGARLOAF)

VERY WELL EDUCATED N WELL SPOKEN GENT SEEKING SOPHISTICATED N VERY CREATIVE FEMALES FOR STIMULATING CONVERSATION, DRINKS, DINNER N MAYBE MORE ??? PLEASE BE DISEASE N DRAMA FREE !!! RESPONSE WITH PICS TAKE PRIORITY !!!

Is he certified in the art of being a gentleman? Or just certified… Like a fucking nut job? And last I checked, being educated and well spoken meant that you knew the difference between the letter N and the word and. I’m tempted to respond with a picture of my dog so I can take priority… Whatever the hell that means.

The De$perate only – 32 (North End)

Hard up? Can’t pay the bills? Willing to do anything I want? Good. We’re on the right track.

Married and your husband is lame? I’ll leave you walking with a limp.

Dom / very attractive WM / DDF

You be any color or age. Desperate. Willing or unwilling to please.

I’ll send pic on first email.

So, if you’re married, it sounds like he won’t be paying you for sex. But if you’re just pathetic and desperate, it seems as if he’ll pay you. I guess that would make you a whore? Willing or unwilling to please… This confuses me… He’s pretty deep for a dude that is just looking to get laid.

im a good looking guy who wants 2 live in girl friends – 36 (atlanta)

I hope this can work.do you think this can work let me know.i believe it would offset alot of things and keep the girls company when im not there.let me know if you and your girl friends want to try this

Polyamory fail. God, I just want to email this douche bag and rip him a new one. The broads dumb enough to answer this ad aren’t going to be tolerable enough to be able to handle two of them together.

How about this one? “I’m a good looking woman looking for one million dollars. Let me know if you want to give it to me.”

LOOKING FOR LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND WITH 1 TO 2 CHILDREN……. – 49 (CARTERSVILLE)

My name is Dan and i’m 49 years old. I’m 5″11″ tall
and weigh around 210. I’m disable but not serious i
do get around. I’m looking for that special person
between 26 to 40 to accept me for me. Age doesn’t
bother me. It’s what the person fills and what they
have in common and how they relate together on life
in general. It would not bother me if there is 1 or
2 children involved because i have no problem with
kids. I’m like most of the world i don’t have a pot
to piss in but i do live life. The most i can offer
is love and caring and honestly and i am a person
that knows what commitment is. If you’re intrested
feel free to contact me. THANKS…………………DAN

“Harmless, disabled pedophile seeking single mother with one or two children.”

This guy just creeped me the fuck out. Seriously. Look at that smirk on his face.

I know, as a single mother, there are lots of guys who will see that I have a child and be like “No way.” But I also know that there’s a huuuuuge difference between eligible, swingin’ bachelors and disabled old dude pedophiles.

Ick, man. Just fucking ick.