Womb Brooms, man.

Have you ever heard the term “womb broom”? I haven’t. Not until tonight.

I turned to my mother and said “I need a come up with a good title for my blog about mustaches tonight.”

She says, without hesitation, “You know, they used to call them womb brooms.”

I blinked and said “Womb grooms?”

She scoffed and corrected me, “Womb brooms.”

My dad walks in and mom says to dad, “Dal, what’s a womb broom?”

Dad looks at me, as if I can give him the answer. Total deer in headlights moment.

“Well, I… I don’t know.”

Life here is a trip, man. Seriously.

SO!

Let’s commence with the Mustache Issue of Date Wrecks Here’s all the really fucked up mustaches from the last two months of Date Wrecks. Enjoy!

This is a low profile mustache. Meaning, it’s low on his lip.

He keeps it trim and tidy.

Gramps is rocking what used to be handlebars.

Does anybody think this asshole sort of looks like my exboyfriend? Oh God. Why didn’t someone slap me in the mouth!

Mustache – Paris style.

The infamous LIP TICKLER! I can’t believe it’s real. I really just can’t.

THIS is how you do handlebars. It’s a shame he didn’t keep ‘em going on all the way down his double chin. That would be serious.

I know. You’re like, “Jami, this dude has no mustache.” And he’s fairly attractive, right? But just scroll, baby, scroll!

Damn. Look what that mustache did to his face!

PSA for all the dudes out there:

DO NOT ROCK THE MUSTACHE. EVER.

Seriously. It’s not sexy. If you have a goatee, you might can pull it off as an ensemble. But the solo ‘stache has GOT TO GO!

From The Vault