From My Inbox…

Chris1233457sex is his user name.

Seriously.

*blink*

And his profile? It said:

vfxbhdfffffgfdgfdgfddfdfdfddijdkjdsklfjdskljkld jcijaijrejc ajjc h ri chris **** me im horny i wana lick ur dirty ass hole ill finger ur pusy and lick ur ass hole at the same time ill make ur so wet then ill lick it then make u squirt

Woah. Just… Woah, man. These kids these days, right? It’s a funny thing reading what an 18 year old thinks a woman wants out of sex…

Doug asked me “Wannnnna go fishin?”

Dude lives about two hours north of the city, waaaaay up in the North Georgia Mountains.

My reply to his email?

“No thanks.” lol

He doesn’t look scary at all, does he? No… He doesn’t look like a spanish gangsta… right?

Oh no, dude. Are you wearing makeup? For your holiday portrait? Also, nice toupee. Really. I’m not sure about you guys… I mean, I love Christmas. I love decorating. But a single man – do decorate this much? That sends up a bit of a red flag for me.

Now this next one, phew… I don’t believe it. He’s either a spammer or a pedophile or some kind serial killer. But it was interesting and he was nice to look at, so I thought I’d include him. He’s from Nottingham, England.

You’re welcome, in advance.

I’m going to be blunt on my profile, as I’ve tried to be subtle in the past and it just didn’t work out so well. I’m submissive, and happy with that. I’m not exploring, I’ve explored and I am happy with where I am. To clear up any confusion, that does mean I like handcuffs, a little pain, chastity belts, and alot of other things. This doesn’t have to be the total of a relationship, and indeed I want everything a man and woman can have together, but I need to be dominated, also. I cannot ignore it, and neither should you. To do so would be, ultimately, pointless. If you would like to chat, I’d love to hear from you,

From The Vault