Oh Helen… ((hugs))

Submitted for your pleasure.

With love from Minnesota…

Seriously. He captioned this “Crazy Eyes”… Not exactly a great way to sell yourself, there, bud…

Wait… What? How tiny is this picture??

So, he tried again… And still… It’s really fucking small…

What a total let down. He figures out how to make it big enough to see and he looks like a blonde Lurch. Did he set his camera up on a tripod or do you think he actually has a friend who was like “Yea, I’ll take your sad, pathetic picture for your online dating personal…”

Woot! YAY Bay-bee! We used the port-a-potty! Pictures with pretty girls don’t make other pretty girls want to go out with you. They make you seem unavailable.

I’ve got a couple of this guy… They just get worse…

You know, pictures of you and your friend are okay. But your friend who is about to grab your moob? Still not really appealing. I guess if you’re just looking to get drunk and have a wild time, this would be your guy…

Ok, so I can’t decide if this is breaking the rules or not, but I wanted to include it. TECHNICALLY, he’s swimming. So the shirtless rule isn’t being broken. But he’s totally wearing his boxer briefs. They don’t exactly give you a ton of support… But bless your heart, party boy. I bet a lot of my readers will be happy to scroll past this one again and again and again…

His “About Me” section was nearly as thrilling as as his picture.

im a very responsability driven man. i always do what i have to do and sometimes i do what i want. im looking for a strong women that knows what she wants and can say it. communication is a must for me as well as honesty and physical atention. im out to find a good woman that knows how to please a man as i will always strive to please her.

So, we get a whole little paragraph that really tells us nothing. Thanks.

Hahahaha… I can’t stop laughing at this picture. I appreciate that he scanned in a photograph, versus just taking a picture of a picture. But what the hell does he look like? I can’t tell. It looks like he has totally pee’d his pants, doesn’t it?

His “About Me” section left me feeling a little skiddish…

I AM GOOD YOU BETTER MEET ME!! NICE AND SMART!!!I LIKE BE HAPPY AND ROMANTIC I’M BUSY BUT I LIKE HAVE FRIENDS AND A NICE GIRL FRIEND!! ENJOY WACHT MOVIES AND CAMPING, I’M A HOUSE MAN AND I LIKE BE WORK ON MY HOUSE

Clearly, we’re not working with a native english speaker here, but the part about this that freaked me out was the “YOU BETTER MEET ME!!”

Oh no, no… No, no, no, no man! *shaking head*

If this picture was listed next to a few other sane looking pictures of himself, it would say “I’m silly, I don’t take myself too seriously, I like to have fun.” But this was his only picture. HIS ONLY PICTURE. So, instead, it says “I’m the weird guy who asks my waiter at the Mexican restaurant if I can take the hat home.”

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