So help me out…
Worst Wrecks — By Jami on December 17, 2008 at 12:34 am
Is there something on this face that says “Please! Crazy boys! Flock to me!”
Some sort of gravitational pull that causes the most douche-iest of the douche bags to be forcefully sucked into my personal space?
It’s shit like this that makes me want to be a lesbian. Or a nun. Or a dead person. I can’t quite decide. Whatever I end up being, dear god, could you please remove this sort of black-hole-strength suck-power that I have on pulling the biggest losers towards me??
Here’s the back story:
Well where do i begin… I am 29 years old. I served nearly 7 years in the Army. After a few deployments to diff countries one being Iraq. I decided that maybe there wasa better use for me out there. After i got out in 2004 i started working for the geek squad. I worked for them for about 3 years and then started my own company. I am still running my company and trying my best to have fun. I love my job and am a very fun and happy person. I dont do drama, I am not a heart breaker, and im not a player. I would like to meet people that are open and honest about everything as i can be a bit harsh with my bluntness and honesty. Well if i sound tolerable then send me a message.
So, he’s sort of cute. A little blonde for my tastes. That last picture was, eh… Silly. But I could look it over because he sounded like an alright dude. And to be totally honest, I thought his shirt was funny, hahaha!
We exchanged a couple of (very) short emails and he asked me to add him to my Yahoo Messenger. I did.
Around 11:30 tonight, I was seriously about to close my laptop and up pops an instant message from a GeekEffect, who turns out to be Lewis.
I’m immediately bothered by him because right after asking me how I’m doing, he asks me for more pictures. *sigh* I redirected him to my dating profile.
He corrects me… He wants to see some “sexy pics”…
Gah. If I didn’t have a dating blog, I would have just blocked him… But I smelled fodder… And you know I love fodder. 
I said “Like what?”
He sent me these gems:
So they got progressively weirder… And I’m thinking “Sexy pics??” So I make fun of him a bit… Crack on him for his long underpants and tease him for being a man in the bathtub…
And I’m like “Yea… I’ve got to go…”
Then he sends me these two gems
As well as pictures of his penis. Pictures. Plural.
DUDE. What the holy fuck?!!?
From zero to weirdo in a ten minute IM conversation.
I gotta work on the vibe I’m putting out. I WISH it were just players and guido douche bags. I could handle that. But sending a stranger pictures of your genitals?! That is so clearly not the vibe I’m trying to put out!!
Gah!
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29 Comments
OMG!!! What a douchebag! And he thought those were sexy?!!?!?!
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You must be sending out phreak pheromones!
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Somebody with a haz-mat suit come scrub me down. Bleach. Lye. Something. Get these pheromones off’a me!
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Backing….Away….Slowly….
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whoa. thats some deep douchebaggery.
A. appropriateness?
B. sooo not sexy
C. even a woman you are seriously dating doesn’t want to lok at pictures of your penis. Nevermind a STRANGER.
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Seriously! Men are the visual creatures, not women! I might look at it and be like “Wow. That’s a huge/small/ugly penis.” But I’m not going to get off on it. A picture of a dude holding his own erection? Please!
Not. Sexy. Ever.
Super Lurve
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OMG! you are so right jami- not cool- and at the same time wondering how he will feel about your posts about him- does he not know you have this blog- that should scare the freaks way right there! so not cool! sorry you had to be subjected to this tonight. definitely take a shower in the morning and scrub hard!
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What man has little pink and green framed pics in his bathroom? And who took those, considering that he has both hands all mobbed up in his nips?
I smell trolling-for-tail-with-girlfriend’s-pics all over him.
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I think it’s actually his parents’ house.
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Cannot…stop…laughing
Is that a raspberry beret in one of those pics?
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He’s cute, but dude. You don’t send pictures of your penis to strangers, no matter how nice it is.
–jessikate
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You look a little post-Goth. I’m not saying that this is at all true, but it might signal the crazy, and crazy chicks are down for anything more frequently than women of the general population.
But just a *little* post-Goth. You don’t deserve this.
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You look a little post-Goth. I’m not saying that this is at all true, but it might signal the crazy, and crazy chicks are down for anything more frequently than women of the general population.
But just a *little* post-Goth. You don’t deserve this.
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I she was more “post-Goth” she would deserve it? Ooookaaay.
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See, my mother told me that when i dyed my hair black, people would think I was gothy. I think it’s a shame that women with long, beautiful, shiny black hair get pegged as lame-o goth chicks.
lol… But I get it.
Maybe it’s time to revert back to my dark blonde…
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Wow Jami that is freaky but at least he shaved for the pics. I have to go bleach my eyes now.
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I would hope that a guy sending out pics of his junk, would at least not take other pictures standing in front of a pink doll stroller. That really eeks me out!
Covert Lily (Susannah)
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On the bright side, he is well endowed. Oh wait, he is a computer geek. Maybe he photoshopped.
~CrazyRED
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if you were going to photoshop, you’d think he at least would photoshop a non-bent one. ya know?
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What’s up with the various penis shots. It reads like a See Spot book. See penis in the bathroom. See penis in my room with my snazzy stereo system. See penis whipped out in the car.
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but um…that is a pretty good looking whacker. just saying, is all.
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That’s awful! No, I don’t think you are sending out a weird vibe. Unless guys recognize you from this blog!
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Yeah it is a pretty good whacker. Unfortunately, it’s attached to a total nut-sack. And not the one they usually are.
Super Lurve
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OMH that is hilarious! That last pic looks like it was taken in his car…who does that??
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Apparently, Lewis does.
GAG.
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At first I wasn’t sure which pictures were meant to be the sexiest – the fauxhawk? the blurry tongue? the air intake vent?
Thank god for shanmarie! That IS a steering wheel! It’s his CAR that’s sexy y’all!
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At first I wasn’t sure which pictures were meant to be the sexiest – the fauxhawk? the blurry tongue? the air intake vent?
Thank god for shanmarie! That IS a steering wheel! It’s his CAR that’s sexy y’all!
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Why? WHYYYYYYYY did I click through to the pictures? I knew what they were… WHYYYYYY??
As someone who met a very nice lady that I’m now living with 2 years later through Match.com, I:
1) Commend you on this much needed blog. Soooo many weirdos out there, and
2) Promise you that you are not deserving of these in any way. These guys are like the mosquitos you have to swat away to get to the food table at a cookout. Eyes on the prize!
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