I was talking to my friend Helen this morning – Helen is my “Slap me, I need to be slapped!” friend.
I can filter my ideas through Helen’s head and she can usually tell me if I’m being a mega bitch or too soft or whatever. Think of her as like… My HR Department.
“The purpose of having a human resources department is to establish, develop, maintain, and communicate office policies throughout the entire company and to represent, help, advise, and consult with the employees, while simultaneously keeping the overall best interests of the company in mind.”
-Thank you Google
Sometimes, I’ll get a bright idea and Helen will be like “Jami. No.” And that’s all she has to say! I trust her advice. Absolutely.
So, I said to her today, “I wonder if my constant rejection of men is a sign of just not being ready for a relationship, or if it’s more just him (general him) not being the right man. It seems like I’ve rejected quite a few.”
And don’t read that wrong. I’m not some cock teasing, string-’em-along-and-slam-’em type. I’ve settled in the past and ended up right back here, single. So, there’s a part of me that wants everything to be perfect. I want him to be my guy… You know? The man of my dreams. (cue the harps)
And no, of course, I don’t expect him to be my ideal guy. There’s no set list of how he should look or what kind of career he would have or whatever. But I want IT to be perfect with a perfect-for-me-man.
Sometimes I feel like Chandler Bing. Could this guy BE any _____er?
I wonder if, when I find the right man, if everything will just feel right. Maybe everything will fall into place. Maybe it won’t. Maybe it did with some poor dude that I rejected because I was too (fill in the blank) to notice.
Here’s your peek into my private life (relish it!):
Helen: we have very different taste in men
Jami: yes.
Jami: well
Jami: I’m really not sure what my taste in men is
Helen: lol
Helen: you like artsy guys
Helen: sensitive men
Jami : I mean, ideally, I’d date a tall, deep voiced, ruggedly handsome man. Like Danny Duqette on Grey’s Anatomy.
Jami: I really don’t like the sensitive men in partners… but I do appreciate the artist…
Helen: but honestly, you need someone that handle you
Jami: yes, exactly what I mean.
Helen: lol
Jami: which makes me think I need a lumberjack or something
Helen: you are a strong woman and need an strong man to tell you when you are buying a ticket for the crazy train
Jami: yes
Helen: or…….maybe carry you down a hallway. lol
Jami: this is true:
Jami: or hold me back
Helen: yup
Jami: “bitch, please!”
Helen: LOL
Helen: exactly!
Jami: I’m going to make a list…
Jami: “things Jami loves in a man”
Jami: and maybe, somewhere out there, there is a man who will read my blog and be like “oh shit. is she talking about me?”
Jami: and we can live happily every after.
Jami : end scene
Helen : lol
Helen : you don’t need a lumberjack
Helen : they’re broke and gone a lot
Jami : lol
Jami : we don’t have them down here anyway
Helen: and Jami?
Helen: it’s always nice to find a man that can fix shit
Jami: true
Jami: Harrison told me that he wants my next boyfriend to be a mechanic
Hele : cars, houses,
Helen : better to have a jack of all trades
Helen : I’d rather have a man that can do a little bit of everything then a specialist in one area
Jami : yea…
Jami : I just want a man with strong arms and sharp wit
Helen : yup
Helen : and a job
Helen : his own place
Jami : lol
Jami : yea
Jami : and a big dog that he takes to the dog park
Helen : and doesn’t dress like a geek
Jami : right
Helen : You need a strong semi quiet guy that is content to let you shine until you start to show your crazy then he’s happy to help you tuck it back up
Jami : I’m quoting you on that
Jami : And totally blogging about this
Helen : fix my typos first, k?
Jami: lol
Jami: done.
So, yea… If you’re out there and reading, I’m ready to swept. Just, you know… Don’t be socially awkward. And also, don’t be creeping on the downlow.
Oh, and don’t own a cat. As much as I love those LOL Cats, I really actually don’t like cats. Hate cats.
