Worst Pick Up Attempt EVER
OkStupid — By Jami on January 22, 2009 at 9:00 am
We’ll start with this dazzling picture. Six flags, sunglasses, pursed lips, nice. Who’s the terrible photographer that took this one?? And this was his ONLY picture.
But he sent me an instant message, and nothing on his profile sent up red flags… To be honest, his profile was about as exciting to me as a nap. But, I’m trying to keep an open mind about dating and you never do know what you’re going to get. Maybe my prince charming is sitting in a boring dude wrapper…? Who knows…
The conversation went like this:
Clueless:hello:hello
Clueless:how are you doing?
Clueless: doing great
Clueless: whats ur name?
:jami
Clueless: ronnie
Clueless: same here
Clueless:we live close
Clueless: have you met anyone from here?
Clueless:yes
Clueless:thats a great red sweater in on of ur pics
Clueless:yesterday was the day for it
Clueless:it was sooo cold
:thank you. it’s from my brother’s wedding.
Clueless:lol
Clueless:wanna meet?
Clueless:ok
(insert 15 minutes of time here.) I closed the window and moved on. And then…
Clueless:i wish i cd make luv to u
:WHAT?! dude. no.
Clueless:sighs
Clueless:you are sooo sexy
Clueless:illl buy u dinner
:please leave me alone.
Clueless:ok
Clueless:bye
DEAR LORD. How?! Why?! I don’t understand what I’m doing to deserve this?? Is this my karmic retribution for writing this blog? If that’s the case, ok… I’ll take it. Because that’s only fair, right?
*sigh*
Dude. Just… WOW.
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Apparently he REALLY likes the color red.
…Serial killer. For sure.
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Um…ok? What were you supposed to say?
Hey!! Ok, sure, I’ll have sex with you…but only if you buy me dinner first. It better be a nice dinner though, McDonald’s doesn’t count!
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That is all kinds of fucked up.
This is what happens when there is a dearth of penis pics.
You have my sympathies!
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Jami, please never take this blog down!!! It’s far to amusing and a great way to stay awake at work for me.
In fact, I hereby declare to the universe that I will share any karmic debt that Jami may incur as a result of this blog….
See? Keep it up
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How does that work? He tells you he wants to screw you. You say no so he thinks “Well, maybe if I feed her ass she’ll get naked with me.” Srsly? SRSLY????????
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hahaha hillarious!
scray at the same time but some guys are just complete doofuses!!
Im as using a dating site right now.. I so hear what you are saying sister
) x
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Oh Emmie. Nice to meet you
And, please, send me your Wrecks. Submissions are one of my favorite features (and I know you’ve got a shit ton of material, right?!)
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this is so funny. really i thought i was the only one with the bizarro encounters online and with dating in general. so many clueless people out there!
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