From My Inbox

Do you love this as much as me?

I mean, maybe this makes me a masochist…? It hurts so good?

Are those infant blue jeans decoupaged to your chest, friend? And that hallway looks a whole lot like my high school….

Oh jesus. WE GET IT. You’re a pensive motherfucker! You spend so much time thinking about the ins and outs of this universe that you had to capture yourself, mid-thought! OVER THIS KIND OF PICTURE. SO.VERY.OVER.IT.

What doesn’t make sense about this dude is his email. His subject line?

Oh dear said the pooh

Seriously. THE POOH?! Is that what you’re thinking about? Pooh and Piglet and Tigger bouncing around in that head of yours? The message was also interesting:

Color me interested. You are pretty. Oh drat though kind of far away but interesting. Had to send you a WTF request i’m just all a wondering what is inside that noggin?

What’s in my noggin? Did he just call my beautiful head a noggin? Yea, um.

I was unaware that the camera could pick up red-eye from 10 feet away… But I guess if you’re using a Digital 1.0 Mega pixel camera, crrrrazy shit happens, right?

Ghetto? Really? You look like a normal dude to me. Maybe it’s a nickname? I’m not sure. He’s cute, but as ghetto as I am (seriously, y’all… You don’t know what to know…), I’m not sure I’d announce it with some photoshop.

Ahhh. This looks… Interesting. The hair, the ‘stache, the southwestern shirt and hat. Let’s not even mention the stacks upon stacks of SHIT behind him. I have a feeling his house probably smells like cigarettes and old stuff.

Let’s play girl or guy? What do you think? Because I think this totally looks like this girl Crystal that I used to work at Starbucks with… Those eyebrows man… I will never forget her eyebrows…

This guy had a particularly interesting email to me.

Yea kinda new with the site. I see u’ve met people online before with ur little blog. Honestly I’m not sure anyone has love and honor anymore. I’m on the emotional side, infact sence this subject is up, kinda been awile 4 me cause of my emtional side. I’ll adment it’s a bit frustraighting at times, but no matter how much it is, I have 2 deal the emotional side first. Yea kinda strange from a guy right, heh u should be on my side looking at it, 31 and still get the back seat for being the nice guy wile some ass gets the girl hehe. Kinda difrent for an icebraker don’t u think? I see a tatt, O’ I love tatts, got 7 myself hehe. Well I’ll leave u this 2 chew on and maybe my stalker may become friendly.

If we’re admenting things, I’ll go ahead and say this was a very hard email to get through. I mean, being a poore spellur is sometimes nobody’s fault. But jesus. When spellcheck underlines about 25% of your email, maybe it’s time to right-click and get a little help from the dictionary? God. So frustraighting.

From The Vault