Date Report
— By Jami on May 1, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I had a date last night.
And let me pull you guys aside for a moment, because I’m gonna get real with you. I was talking about this on my facebook status earlier this week, and it’s something that I’ve been dealing with for most of my life.
I like bad boys. I just do. My exhusband was a bad boy. My last serious relationship was with a SUPREME bad boy. There’s something about a man who walks upright like a lion and is just a bad motherfucker… It’s enticing and alluring and exciting. And tattoos and fast cars and cussing and, and, and.
The problem is — and what you’re all thinking — bad boys are bad news!
I know! I know!
But the issue in the past has been that I can’t seem to have a good time with a nice guy. I get bored because they’re, well… Nice and simple and just not exciting to me.
Tonight, however… Well, it was an eyeopening experience.
I had a really great date with a man who was nice… But interesting and a GREAT conversationalist and told funny stories and made me laugh.
And? The kicker?!
I’m attracted to him.
[thud]
(can someone please find some smelling salts pronto?)
We had a lovely dinner at my favorite restaurant then walked down the street and he got a milkshake and I got a float at this little diner. He was a perfect gentleman, the right mix of sweet southern gentleman and smart ass. He walked me to my car at a reasonable hour and we shared a few sweet kisses all wrapped up in each other’s arms.
He also called me afterward to make sure I got home okay… Sweet, y’all.
I want to see him again. Busy schedules suck. But suffice it to say, I will keep you in the loop.
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Most excellent news! I’ll just bet he has a little “bad boy” tucked away somewhere
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This isn’t aimed just at you kiddo, but for anyone reading who is still struggling with that obsession with the bad boys. I see so many women sucked into this fiction, that these are the exciting men, and it kills me.
The point of my “look at yourself and repeat after me” lecture was to allow yourself to do what you did, see that whole person, and not assume that nice=boring or bad=exciting.
Nice men can be real men, in fact, more often ARE real men, than the ones who swagger around wearing the bad-ass persona.
I still stand by my lecture. I think it bears repeating every now and then, to make sure it sticks, to make sure you don’t slide into that kind of stereotypical thinking.
Being open to dating someone who dresses or lives unconventionally, or is a different race, or is inked up or has long hair might lead someone to think they are without prejudice. But if we write off a whole section of the population because they look/seem too straight, not only are we missing out on some great people, but we’re no more open minded than the racists, or the ones who won’t look at someone who has tattoos, etc.
Good luck! Keep us posted.
(the ‘repeat after me’ lecture)
Repeat after me: Movies and TV lie. I am not going to be the miraculous fix that causes the bad boy to suddenly become a faithful, caring, loving, strong man. This is not because I am lacking, but because he is. He’s an asshole, and he will continue to be an asshole.
Truth, honey.
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Whooooop whooooo!
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That’s awesome! Fingers crossed for you. I am hoping I will one day meet a nice guy I’m attracted to. *sigh*
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That’s awesome! Fingers crossed for you. I am hoping I will one day meet a nice guy I’m attracted to. *sigh*
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Ah, sounds promising.
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Awesome on a good date!
Having been considered a “Bad Gal” for my clothing choices or my musical tastes, while actually being a stand-up person, I sometimes get bothered by the whole “Keep away from Bad Boys” thing.
I have dated “Bad Boys” who were really sweet and some who were total losers. Likewise, with “nice guys”.
I guess I’m just saying Hooray for being open minded on this guy.
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I finally gave the “nice guy” a chance three years ago, and we were married in October. I have never been happier than when I am laying on the couch with him watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, drinking coke and eating sunflower seeds. We laugh, talk, kiss, and it is more wonderful than I could have ever expected. I am so glad he waited me out! (Took me 3 months to get past the friend stage)
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Please hook me up with his brother. kthxbai
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Please hook me up with his brother. kthxbai
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I think I may be working from a different definition of bad boy. You can have a seriously strong, stable, wonderful man who is covered in tattoos and has long hair and piercings, and a swaggering asshole who appears to be Mr. Upright Citizen. A real man who is strong and self confident is one of the sexiest things on earth, and doesn’t come with a particular exterior coloring. He also doesn’t need to belittle or disrespect the women in his life to be strong, and I guess that’s where I went off the tracks here. We all have built-in preferences regarding what we’re physically attracted to, but some of the surprising things in life come when we’re willing to step outside that a little. I just hate to see people equate nice with boring, or assume that a slightly vanilla exterior is the sum total of someone’s personality.
But if we’re just talking looks here, we like what we like, there’s no getting around that.
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