Caption: Acting like a sexy beast
Really? In a sleeveless denim vest? REALLY?
Oh lord. No, no, no, no, no. NO. Just no. What the fucking hell was he thinking? I suppose you reach a certain level of unattractiveness that you just really don’t give a fuck anymore, right? Oh man. This is bad.
The layout for those thumbnail images on his computer screen are all wrong to be from OkCupid. Honestly, it looks more like one of those cam-girl websites, doesn’t it? And shirtless in what appears to be the living room? On a porn site? Ewww, dude.
Aren’t they the cutest couple? Wrong choice for your dating ad, dude. Though, your red solo cup screams, “I keep it classy.”
I mean, I suppose it’s meant to be funny. I have pictures like this but they’re for my friends to see, AFTER they’ve already grown to love me. This is NOT the way to put your best foot forward, my friend. Here’s a rule of thumb: if you think I might make the same horrific face when I see your picture, it’s probably best to choose another face.
Cute guy, unruly hair, and what appears to be a really trashed out house. I’ve had a house like that two times in my life; once, when I was on drugs and again, when I had a toddler running around the house. Those are the only acceptable reasons to have an apartment that looks like this.
Hahahaha! Props for being clever and really, since he ponied up that this was a dare, he really shouldn’t be on Date Wrecks, technically, I suppose… But really, your dating ad is not the place for this kind of snapshot.
Caption: What can I say? I was bored.Sweet Jesus. Really? You were bored enough to set your head ablaze? You, my friend, are stupid. Too stupid to date, indeed.
It’s like a scavenger hunt in a picture here, dude. Or one of those can-you-find-it puzzles from Highlights Magazine. Can you find the cigarette? The lame tie? The bandaid? The eyepatch? The Date Wreck? Awesome. At least, in his desperately bored state, he didn’t light his head on fire.
I’m vascilating between LOVING this picture and being a little freaked out that he’s got a whip. I mean, I loved the song as much as any other child of the 80′s, but really… the entire costume? I mean, it would be a AWESOME for a Halloween party, but I guess it’s something terribly creepy about his eyes… And the way he’s holding that whip. Eeep!
I see we’ve moved on from doing that sexy beast thing you did oh so well and now you… wanna be a cowboy?
As an aside: I love 80′s music. I really just do. That’s all.
OH SWEET JESUS! THE MOOOOOBS! THE MOOBS ARE COMING AFTER ME! AND THEY’RE COVERED IN MUD! (Dear God, please say that’s actually mud and some kind of fecal matter… Though, with the face that he’s making, there’s no telling.)
Seriously. Those are damn near breasteseses, right?
