Yo Ho Ho, Read This!

— By Jami on June 17, 2009 at 8:00 am

In addition to the exchange I’m about to tell you about, I’m going to have a From My Inbox on Monday. I have been doing a pretty good job of ignoring my inbox on OkCupid, but there’s a few recent ones that I can’t NOT share. So, look for it on Monday.

For now, I got an email today from a man today who listed himself as 6’10″ tall.

[thud]

For those of you that are unaware, I’m like… 4′ 11 1/2″ without shoes. Seriously, really fucking short.

Bless his heart, he seems like a nice man and his email was a fairly well-executed introduction:

So what are the better short jokes? I sympathize being on the other extreme.

Of course when people ask about the weather, I’m tempted to spit and say it’s raining.

Enjoyed your profile.

Bill

I went to look at his page to see if there was some kind of attraction or other reason to answer his email and hole-EE-chit. Six foot ten?!

I’m well aware that what men lie about on their profiles is often height and income, but sweet Jesus — why would you lie and say you’re 6’10″? If statistics are on my side, he’s probably more like 7’1″ because, really, how would I ever verify this kind of information being that I’m TWO FEET SHORTER THAN HIM. I suppose I could climb up like, a THREE FOOT ladder and measure his height, but he could be 8’6″ for all I care — over like 6’2″ and you’re beyond my focus-range — I need like, binoculars or something.

For perspective, visually, imagine me standing next to seven year old boy.

Or visualize a seven year old boy standing next to an infant.

EEP!

Anyway, I’m going to email him and tell him thanks-but-no-thanks because I’m not really interested in him otherwise, but I told my sister about him and she shared a one-liner with me that I just HAD to share.

In order for this joke to make sense you should know that she’s a professional photographer and that I read Awkward Family Photos daily.

Reply “Sir… No matter how much she tries, my sister says that is going to be an awkward family photo, but your green beans are delicious.“

awkward family

Projected Family Portrait

I’m not sure I’ve laughed that hard in a LONG time. The funny runs in the family.

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