Emoticon Overload

There are a million and one things that are overused and abused on the internet…

Emoticons are one of them… I use them… But it is just like an appropriate placement of “that’s what she said” — when used properly, it can be hysterical. But use it too much, or in the wrong way and not only do people want to spork your eyes out, they also think you’re also a fucking loser.

This Plenty of Fish ad that was submitted to me made me twitch. And when the twitching subsided, I started to want to spork this stupid fucking loser’s eyeballs out.

jabrex The Big Mouth Bass: Pound almost dry, easy catch!

Caption: playing in the rain, refreashing

City: Allen Texas

Sign:Sagittarius

Height:5′ 7″ (170 cm)

Age:39 year old Man

Ethnicity:Caucasian with Mixed Color hair

Smoker:No

Body Type:Average

Religion:Christian – other

About Me

Great since of humor and funny! I look for the positive outlook in others? Enjoys making others: smile and laugh. ? Have found others to be unique in some way: lol: . I am told we must click to become friends? not everyone clicks or has chemisty or common interest? Why?
If you’re Not a Perfect woman or person, I would like to get to know you more. . (I understand No one is perfect) look at me? An average normal working male, Searching for the opportunity of hope and true romance. .if you’re interested. I want to know.
if a good friendship can come out of this , I would like to see it happen. with Us.
Are you the woman how wants my time, attention and respect. I understand we both need a common interested. I am a single independent person, so I know I do not need someone? But I want someone to share my adventures with. In these everyday times, it is good to have someone to share your time with, we can make history together.(still interested)
Hello, to my new friendship, if you are interested. Let me know more about you.
May God bless your search if you’re not interested in me?
“we don’t miss what we never had”-”once we had the _______, we try not, loose it unless it turns _______”
But I know I am an Honest Person, Reality is real. We cannot make everyone happy but ourselves, most of us have choices in life.

First Date

Be Honest. By this time hopefully both of us have gotten to know something about the other person, their interested and likes and dislikes? (Maybe this a bad thing to know) Laughing out loud, This is for the first date? We all know we want to impress this person, right? the question is why?
Build a friendship with the other person. Learn to see if the other person has the same interested?
my intensions are friendship first. And build from there, life is short and does not wait for us to start living tommorow.
Some of my Ideas for first dates
Places that communication can be used, quite one on one Atmosphere, out in a public place or event?
My ideas would be? A Park, a museums or a simple event with interesting things going on.
If a relationship is going to work, it will grow. If two people are interested in one another it will happen sooner then expected.
That to be said,
Enjoy life, entertainment and get to know someone for what is in their heart and mind. understand who they are and why.
So tell me something? what if? we both were Right?
well it looks like I am fishing for white crappie? that seems like what Is in this large pound!they just keep getting away? must have the wrong bait? it looks like this pound is getting over populated with crappie? before all the water runs out maybe one lucky female fish will swim into my creek? is this a catch and release pound that is what it seems like, LOL.
it will take a Good line to pull this fish in? Oh, so many fish and only one hook? always hooked! line and sinker? lol. then it Brakes!!!! and no safty net? No pitcure of the big one? water keeps looking bad, dark and muddy. uh, but the clear water the fish just look at ya, that sucks. needs some TNT….knock um out, of the water, tryed to use live bait and they spit it right out, they seem to like the artifcal bait instead?

Ooooooookay. So we made it through.

Now, aside from the horrific spelling (which, in this case, I’m not going to harp on too hard — CLEARLY with this many spelling mistakes, he’s GOT to have some kind of learning disability) — what the hell is up with all these question marks??

It’s like everything he says ends in a question?

So the inflection of his voice is higher at the end of every sentence?

Even when he’s making a statement? Everything sounds like an inquiry?

My favorite one: “May God bless your search if you’re not interested in me?” Sounds like something I would say, if only I believed in God… And only because, with the question mark, it reads like, “Gosh, I sure do hope that God blesses you since you’re not interested in his child: me. And I don’t understand why you would be interested in me. You realize your disinterest makes baby Jesus cry, right?”

Also: “An average normal working male, Searching for the opportunity of hope and true romance. ” Yea, man. I know… Looking for love gives me the lolz in muh tummeh, too? Like ROFLMAOz.

And can someone help me with this Mad Lib: “once we had the _______, we try not, loose it unless it turns _______”

Once we had the… SMARTS! Yes… Ok. Once we had the smarts, we try not, loose it unless it turns… turns… LEFT? Yes. Perfect. Fits right in with the rest of the incoherent babble in this profile.

And the last paragraph? The one where he seems like he’s recounting the recurring nightmare that I had as a child… With the fish and the crappies and water running out and no BRAKES! NO SAFETY NET! No picture of the big one (surprise cock?) Dirty water… And the fish that stare into your very soul. Dynamite. Then he hooks his penis into a fishing lure only to be disappointed that the fish only seem to be biting the artificial bait.

Then I wake up with the shakes and my heart beating, Poe-style in my ears. And I might have wet my bed. It’s a really fucking scary dream, man.

I am a little disappointed that he only used thirty five emoticons… I mean, he’s thirty nine years old, I would expect to see thirty nine animated fucking irritating smileys in that personal ad — wouldn’t that have been serendipitous? Then I would have known we were meant to be…

Instead, I’m going to throw this crappie fish back into the pound… Next to the puppies that have been there for nearly a week and are being prepped for euthanasia.