Zach, thank you for not using conversate.

Kthxbai.

The thing about arguing or debating over the interwebs is, given that there’s no moderator, judge, or unbiased jury, nothing ever really gets resolved. I would like to say that as for the “something else” you felt I must possess that drives away the women, I’m flawed. Maybe more than you, maybe less, I don’t know. I’m only recently single, however, coming out of a relationship that ended painfully. I signed on with okcupid at Jami’s request, and if it goes somewhere, so be it. I think you’ve made some excellent points, but I also know I understand myself better than you, and unless we ever meet and converse in person someday, we’ll remain opposed to strong degrees. That said, thanks for engaging me and making some blunt statements. Regards, Zach

Truthfully, you don’t need a woman. You need a circle of male friends who will raise their eyebrows when you do things like ‘almost always wear suits’, talk about having ‘world famous bear hugs’, order cherry martinis, and hang baby duck paintings in your bathroom.

I would wager almost any amount of money that you do not have such a group of male friends, because you simply could not have them and still be in this state. They would just haze you until you either stopped being like this or stopped being your friends.

My sense from what you say is that you’ve had a life where you’ve had to work so much, and have had so many family obligations, that you probably didn’t have the opportunity to form the kinds of bonds with other guys that act as a natural apprenticeship of sorts into understanding the difference between what women find likable and what they find alluring, mostly through a (sometimes, admittedly painful) peer pressure cooker of at least a baseline competitive machismo.

I sympathize with you to a certain extent, because I don’t really identify with traditional gender roles too deeply myself, but… I don’t know, man. Maybe reel it in just a bit? It just seems like a bit much.

I’m just worried that the only girl you’re attracting is going to be some chick who runs you.

Anyways, I hope you’ll stay in touch with Jami and she will do an update on you – If your approach ends up being effective, I would love to be wrong.
.-= Will O’Neill´s last blog ..Cranes =-.