Wrecky Repost: Aussie Rick Is A Total Douche Bag
Worst Wrecks — By Jami on September 6, 2009 at 8:00 am
This post was originally posted on October 21, 2008.
OkCupid.com is a GOLD MINE! The only downside: you have to register to see profiles. Booooo!
So, I’ll just have to c&p and you’ll have to trust me… Otherwise, you can register and see for yourself 
The actual text of his profile ad isn’t that terrible, save a couple of gems. I’ll list them here for your enjoyment:
When asked to list six things he couldn’t live without, Rick said:
What do I think about when I masturbate? Crikey! I have a great imagination and a great memory, so the answer to that one is far too much to fit on this profile!
Crikey! He said crikey!
When asked what a typical night for him would be, Rick said:
I may walk to my 24 hour gym and then over the road to Hattie’s Hat for a beer, or a Guinness, and to have a bit of a chin-wag with somebody there.
Chin wag? Is it bad that I feel like that’s something an animal does….?
His pictures are awesome… His captions put them over the edge of the cliff…
In case we don’t believe he’s Australian, here he is, posing with a freakin’ kangaroo!
His caption?
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I noticed this ‘sheila’ and her mates in a park so, I had to say “g’day!”
I’m wearing an Australian Akubra hat here… http://www.akubra.com.au/products_country.html
Me in May.
Is it just me or does he totally look like a chick in this picture?! An ugly, thick-necked chick, but a total lady.
FUCKING PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON!!!!!!! Thankfully, Rick had the decency not to send us slitting our wrists with a caption for this one…
And the kicker… The best of the bunch…
The caption… Oh my god. Brace yourselves…
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This was taken with a self-timer, so I’m not really sleeping.
Rick! So you mean to tell me that you took a picture of yourself in your underwear? Booty shorts? Whatever those are that show off TOO MUCH of your thigh… You took a picture like this ON PURPOSE? And then you were stupid enough to TELL US that you took the time to set the timer on your camera to take his picture of you? How many of these did you have to take until you got this, um… pose juuuust right?
Wow. Thanks to my Anonymous commenter for this gem. She and I sat around on Friday night, after drinking a bit too much wine and, I can only speak for myself… I’m gonna keep it real. I think I pee’d my pants a little when she showed this to me…
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28 Comments
he looks like “buffalo bill” in the close up… It puts the lotion on it’s skin or it gets the hose again.
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Nice bulge. *shiver*
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i did not leave the 451am anonymous comment.
i honestly thought this ad was a joke until i realized, sadly, that it was not.
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Well you know how to fix this… SIGN IN! Then we know who you are!
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Oh God!! He does look like Buffalo Bill, lol.
My eyes!!!!
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Oh dear God.
I’m going to be single forever.
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Well hey, look at the bright side. At least he learned to use the self-timer!
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Holy hell. I am telling you, Jami…if my husband ever leaves me, I will die alone.
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Oh, and it’s Erin. Don’t know how to change that when I comment. xoxo
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Hey Rick, 1978 called…they would like David Lee Roth back.
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I had to bail on okcupid. too many very desperate guys on there. skeeved me out.
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We have finally found the real JT Leroy…
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I could entertain you all night with my experiences with this guy. I actually know him. He is homeless and sponges off of women and strangers he meets in coffee houses and on-line. He is a male prostitute. He has no family to speak of; if he does, they have absolutely nothing to do with him. He wears makeup. He brags about how smart he is, but he just reads Wikipedia all day long. He has no job. He has no career and no source of income at all. If you’d like, I’ll give you his full name and cities he’s lived. He is a complete liar and freeloader. Please let me know if you’d like to know more. You don’t even know the 1/2 of this moron. Oh, and by the way, he’s bi-sexual, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but he is. He talks about friends he has all over the world, but he actually has no close, true friends. He is a complete blowhard who will tell you anything to get money and free room and board out of you.
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Oh, and by the way, the picture on the couch?
That picture used to have a full view of his penis. He censored it, because OKCupid complained.
He’s a major perv too. Whatever any ladies out there do, please don’t date this horse’s ass.
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Oh, and by the way too… the photo captioned “Me in May”???
That’s May 2005.
All of those pictures are the year 2000 or earlier.
The guy lies about everything.
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Oh my God, I can’t shut up…
Another thing, about the captions and Aussie expressions…
Rick is OBSESSED with being Australian. He exemplifies every Australian stereotype you’ve ever heard of. The guy makes Crocodile Dundee look like the Prime Minister of Australia.
He seems to think the fact that he’s Australian is a HUGE plus to meet women. I think to myself, “Dude, there are a lot of Australian men who aren’t male prostitutes and who don’t rip American women off.”
I could tell you stories…
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c’mere, friend. *pats couch*
http://datewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/this-just-in-aussie-ricks-ex-comments.html
bless YOUR heart. forgive me if i make you relive this shit, but i want more. and more. and more.
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Hi Jami, I hope I replied to the correct link, so you don’t have to cut and paste.
In the interest of honesty and full disclosure, I need to let you know that I am not this bozo’s ex. Our friendship at that time was purely platonic. In retrospect, I supposed I should thank the heavens for that, but I just wanted to make it clear that we were not intimately involved. I was just his bank.
We didn’t meet on OKCupid. One day after I had first purchased a computer, he instant-messaged me after getting my e-mail off of rollingstone.com. This was before the age of super-secure message boards and passwords. If I had encountered his profile on OKCupid, I never would have had him in my home and believed his stories.
I have gotten over him, and it no longer hurts, but as long as any gal wants to know about this loser, I’ll talk. He’s just a freeloader and a storyteller, and that is why I warn women (and anyone, for that matter). I cannot believe this guy still cruises women on the Internet.
He’s not 38… he’s in the neighborhood of 44-45. People in Seattle vouched for that.
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Newp, girl. You’re commenting on the wrong post. Try here – http://datewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/this-just-in-aussie-ricks-ex-comments.html
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Uhhh he looks more like a ‘queen’
and that ‘self timer’ picture… EWWWWWWW
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I will never forget this person’s face. This man’s real name is Bryson Pope. He is NOT Australian, he is South African. He 1st stole my girlfriend and then my identity in 2000. He is a con-man/pick-up artist/gigolo! He has several warrants for his arrest in at least 3 states and in South Africa! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!
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I was TOTALLY going to say that no one who is actually Australian would have to inundate people with all the Oz stereotypes. Total con.
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All I can hear is “DUDE LOOKED LIKE A LADY” over and over and over…and over.
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Not defending this profile in any way, but a while back (at least 5 years ago) OK Cupid changed their questions up periodically, but left the response text the same. Which left a lot of profiles looking VERY odd.
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This Aussie heap of shit should have his ball satchel surgically removed from his nether region.
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Crikey! Hatti’s Hat is in MY town. I just 86′d myself.
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Ooh gosh i just wrote a huge comment and as soon as i submitted it it came up blank! Please please tell me it worked right? I do not want to write it again if i dont have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am just stuipd, the second option doesnt surprise me lol.
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No! The comment didn’t come through. I tried to email you but it bounced back. I hope you see this.
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