This post was originally posted on October 21, 2008.
OkCupid.com is a GOLD MINE! The only downside: you have to register to see profiles. Booooo!
So, I’ll just have to c&p and you’ll have to trust me… Otherwise, you can register and see for yourself 
The actual text of his profile ad isn’t that terrible, save a couple of gems. I’ll list them here for your enjoyment:
When asked to list six things he couldn’t live without, Rick said:
What do I think about when I masturbate? Crikey! I have a great imagination and a great memory, so the answer to that one is far too much to fit on this profile!
Crikey! He said crikey!
When asked what a typical night for him would be, Rick said:
I may walk to my 24 hour gym and then over the road to Hattie’s Hat for a beer, or a Guinness, and to have a bit of a chin-wag with somebody there.
Chin wag? Is it bad that I feel like that’s something an animal does….?
His pictures are awesome… His captions put them over the edge of the cliff…
In case we don’t believe he’s Australian, here he is, posing with a freakin’ kangaroo!
His caption?
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I noticed this ‘sheila’ and her mates in a park so, I had to say “g’day!”
I’m wearing an Australian Akubra hat here… http://www.akubra.com.au/products_country.html
Me in May.
Is it just me or does he totally look like a chick in this picture?! An ugly, thick-necked chick, but a total lady.
FUCKING PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON!!!!!!! Thankfully, Rick had the decency not to send us slitting our wrists with a caption for this one…
And the kicker… The best of the bunch…
The caption… Oh my god. Brace yourselves…
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This was taken with a self-timer, so I’m not really sleeping.
Rick! So you mean to tell me that you took a picture of yourself in your underwear? Booty shorts? Whatever those are that show off TOO MUCH of your thigh… You took a picture like this ON PURPOSE? And then you were stupid enough to TELL US that you took the time to set the timer on your camera to take his picture of you? How many of these did you have to take until you got this, um… pose juuuust right?
Wow. Thanks to my Anonymous commenter for this gem. She and I sat around on Friday night, after drinking a bit too much wine and, I can only speak for myself… I’m gonna keep it real. I think I pee’d my pants a little when she showed this to me…
