He Said — She Said: Oh NO She Di’in’t!
He Said -- She Said — By Jami on September 19, 2009 at 8:00 am
You’ve waited… You’ve been patient. Now brace yourselves. This is probably gonna hurt a little bit.
bicuriousgurl76
33 / F / bisexual / Available
Greensboro, Alabama
My Self Summary
What can I say about myself………….well I am good at whitty and smart assed comebacks, I love dirty jokes, I love to cook, and being a wife and mom. I live onna farm here in Alabama but I was raised on the plains of Texas. I love anything John Deere. I can apprechiate a good woman as well as apprechiate my loving bf, that I have been with for almost 2 years. I have a VERY curious side to me. I would love to have a friend with whom I can talk about anything with. My head if filled with all kinds of knowledge and usless trivia, I love to read mainly horror, drama, mystery, and fiction. I listen to all kinds of music, I was a music major at UWA till I dropped out because I was in “LOVE”, boy was I wrong LOL
I am a Southern born and Southern bred cornbread and butterbean fedredneck country gurl!!!! Even have the mud between my toes to prove it!!!!! I am not scared to get dirty or try new things!!!!! So hit me up if you have any questions or just wanna chat or burn a fatty 420!!!!!
What I’m doing with my life
ENJOYING IT!!!! If there is anything I have learned over the past two years is that life is about living, NOT surviving!!!! I am now living and having fun and enjoying myself (and others lol). I am learning to relax and let go.
I’m really good at
Finding every imperfection in everything that I do!!!! LOL Making ppl smile, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time lol, rolling up a fatty, and the thing I do best…………I am really good at finding a movie and gettin high and chillin!!!!! LOL
The first things people usually notice about me
Me: Some say my legs………A few my eyes……….Most will tell you that my laugh is really noticable……its loud if I’m really tickled!!!!
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
I love horror book like Steven King…………almost all mysteries and detective stories…James Patterson………I do read a lil romance but mainly crime or horror novels.
Pulp Fiction and Natural Born Killers are a few of my favs…….[my lil gurl got me hooked on the Princess Diaries movies LOL SHHHH plz dont tell anyone!!!] A League of Their Own and Pretty Woman are also favs of mine…… Remember the Titans, We are Marshall, Rudy, and Bull Durham are fav’s also!!!! I watch wrestling every night its on….RAW, TNA, Smackdown, and Kurt Angle!!!!! UFC im just really getting into!!!I listen to all types of music….I was a music major when I did attend college so its an appreciation of mine and what mood I’m in decides the genre of music I listen to!!!
I love trying new foods…..wether it be ethnic or just a new creation Im game!!!!!
The six things I could never do without
My beautiful daughter!!!!
CHOCOLATE in any form!!!!
all the usless trivia and knowledge in my head (it is useful at the oddest moments)
the past, if we don’t have a past then we don’t have a future to to make a difference for
my cellphone
my southern country ways
I spend a lot of time thinking aboutOf course being a good parent and raising my lil gurl 2 be the best person she can BE!!!! Trying to figure out how 2 approach a woman 2 ask her out or just to talk!!!!![I get really nervous]
On a typical Friday night I amUsually right here on the internet!!!! Not really into the drama or party life!!!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
That for almost half of my life I stayed with a sorry abusive husband just because I felt I had NO where 2 go!!!! Finally I am free of that and MOST of the damage he did to me……I still have some self esteem and insecurity issues about myself I need 2 work on but I am getting better!!!!
Hey I may not b a supermodel but I am kinda cute!!!!! who the heckever said ya had to be a “supermodel” anyway? keep shinning on!
Jami: I, for one, “apprechiate” a country girl. I bet you do, too PC…. what with you being like… a mountain man and all of that.
PC: Actually, this girl and I have a lot in common. She is an ignorant backwoods redneck, who enjoys the works of Stephen King, and clearly has a learning disability. And me? I, uh, well, I mean we both, it’s like we’re…
I like John Deere tractors and I don’t know what to say to women, that’s pretty much all we have in common, okay? You happy now?
Jami: You sure about that PC? You strike me as the kind of guy who has created a makeshift awning out of a blue tarp once or twice in his life…
PC: I don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s move on.
Jami: Okay, I’ll change the subject: Can I just say one thing: HOLY FUCKING SHIT — ladies! Get fitted for a bra! Do you see how this girl’s bra is fitting?! Bras are NOT supposed to make your boobs look misshapen and cause you to have extra boobs growing out of your armpits. AND A FROG BRA? Bitch, c’mon.
PC: See, that’s the difference between chicks and dudes, I mean guys and girls, I mean gentleman and ladies. I hadn’t even noticed the ill-fitting bra, guys just wanna see boobs. Is there a name for this phenomenon? Maybe pit-boobs, or arm-tits? Or if a nipple slips out the side, would that be an err-eola?
Jami: Ugh.
PC: I know, I know. I was actually thinking the boob shot was the second best picture, right behind the poison ivy bedspread.
Jami: Yeah, that ain’t poison ivy. I’m really sad to say that the worst picture of them all was pulled down from okcupid since I first got this submission from my friend Rodney. I’m so very sad. I really wanted to show you guys how wrecky she was. How wrecky, you ask? Dude. It was a total vag shot. Like… dumb ass broad on her back, lame ass boyfriend taking the picture. I could hardly believe my eyes. And I’m so very very sad it’s gone. It seems only fair that if I’m going to rot out your brains and burn your retinas that I do it equally from both camps, right?
PC: DW community, I saw it. I was there, I looked right at it. Granted, I clamped both forearms over my eyes as soon as I realized what I was looking at, but there’s a screenburn I’m working around right now that would have shot through your screen and into your brain by now, if not for the fine folks at okcupid, so be thankful.
Jami: It’s a good thing she loves anything john deere –
– I’m not so sure she’d fit on the ride-on toys though, you know?
PC: I’ll wager that she’s fit onto her fair share of ride on toys in her day. And from both sides of the fence, at that.
http://generallyawesome.com/photos/funny/john-deere
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Jami: I am a Southern born and Southern bred cornbread and butterbean fedredneck country gurl!!!! This girl has a lot in common with cornbread and butterbeans. I might think it would feel great going down, but I’m just left feeling dry.
PC: Yeah, a spoonful of lard helps.
Jami: Even have the mud between my toes to prove it!!!!! I am not scared to get dirty or try new things!!!!! Since when did having muddy toe cracks become attractive? we call that “hippy feet” in my house — and the consensus is that it is NOT attractive.
PC: That is not mud.
Jami: I’m really good at: Finding every imperfection in everything that I do!!!! So you’re really good at being insecure? awesome. how original.
PC: I suck at insecurity. I’ve tried, but I’m just no good at it. I give up, it’s hopeless, I’ll never get insecurity right.
Jami: LOL Making ppl smile, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time lol, rolling up a fatty, and the thing I do best…………I am really good at finding a movie and gettin high and chillin!!!!! LOL *twitch* she… said… “ppl”
PC: Yeah, she also said LOL, fatty, and chillin, all in the same sentence, and I use the word “sentence” generously.
Jami: So to summarize, you’re good at being insecure, putting your foot in your mouth, making people smile and rolling joints and wasting your life away? BEAUTIFUL. girl! i can’t underSTAND how you’re single. it.makes.no.sense. Even to Alabama’s standards!
PC: She’s being modest. She’s also good at ordering fast food, applying for benefits, and popping out puppies.
Jami: The first things people usually notice about me Me: Some say my legs………A few my eyes……….Most will tell you that my laugh is really noticable……its loud if I’m really tickled!!!! Oh… oh no. I hate it when girls like this have a loud laugh. They give the rest of us a bad rap.
PC: Loud laugh, southern girl, generously endowed, hmmm…
Jami: I watch wrestling every night its on….RAW, TNA, Smackdown, and Kurt Angle!!!!! UFC im just really getting into!!! She watches WRESTLING? *gasp* NO! Seriously? The girl with a fucking dixie flag on her bra watches wrestling? I am just fucking shocked beyond belief.
PC: That’s a heart shaped dixie flag Jami, that just means she wishes she was in the land of cotton, if you know what I mean. And you’d understand if you’d ever been a-way down south in Dixie, she’s hot as Hell. Look away, look away, look away…
Jami:
The six things I could never do without
My beautiful daughter!!!!
CHOCOLATE in any form!!!!
all the usless trivia and knowledge in my head (it is useful at the oddest moments)
the past, if we don’t have a past then we don’t have a future to to make a difference for
my cellphone
my southern country ways
At least she listed her daughter first, right? I mean, clearly, we’ve got a high caliber Rosie on our hands here, guys.
http://datewrecks.com/2009/07/i-think-weve-reached-the-end-of-the-internet/
I’m going to read the fourth thing on her list and the fifth thing on her list together because it’s more fun. Join me? “if we don’t have a past then we don’t have a future to to make a difference for my cellphone.” DO IT FOR THE CELLPHONES, YOU GUYS!
PC: Yeah, I was quite impressed to see that she can’t live without the “usless” knowledge in her head.
Jami: I spend a lot of time thinking about: Of course being a good parent and raising my lil gurl 2 be the best person she can BE!!!! Trying to figure out how 2 approach a woman 2 ask her out or just to talk!!!!![I get really nervous] I see that “being a good parent” is a phrase that we’re being quite flexible with, ok…. Mmhmm…
PC: Oh come on Jami, every little girl needs a mommy, and a daddy, and a chick that mommy fucks from time to time.
Jami: The most private thing I’m willing to admit here: That for almost half of my life I stayed with a sorry abusive husband just because I felt I had NO where 2 go!!!! Finally I am free of that and MOST of the damage he did to me……I still have some self esteem and insecurity issues about myself I need 2 work on but I am getting better!!!! Well shit, poor broad fulfilled her Jerry Springer Southern Born & Bred prophecy — she was married to a man since she was fifteen who beat her. Hot damn.
PC: Alabama. Can’t find a wife? Raise one!
Jami: Hey I may not b a supermodel but I am kinda cute!!!!! who the heckever said ya had to be a “supermodel” anyway? keep shinning on! “kinda cute” … it’s okay… i guess we’re using creative license.
PC: Keep shinning on, Jami.
Jami: Keep shinning on, PC.
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16 Comments
This’ll only hurt a LOT Jami. OH how it hurts.
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she HAS a boyfriend!!! aaaaaaaaaaaugh!
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super
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she said she spends a lot of time thinkin about ….”Of course being a good parent and raising my lil gurl 2 be the best person she can BE!!!! ”
i can see it now….”here honey, we roll fatty’s like this”
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So… she’s a good wife and mom, but doesn’t have a husband anymore, has a boyfriend of 2 years, and now wants a girlfriend too… and her main accomplishments are smoking weed and watching wrestling while taking pictures of her pit boobs? Sounds like quite a catch, ladies!
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Her poor kid. Srsly.
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At first I thought it was a passage from Charlotte’s Web..
I love dirty jokes… I live onna farm here in Alabama but I was raised on the plains of Texas. I love anything John Deere
I am a Southern born and Southern bred cornbread and butterbean fedredneck country gurl!!!! Even have the mud between my toes to prove it!!!!! I am not scared to get dirty or try new things!!!!!
Hi, My name is Charlotte and I’m a pig…
And I understand why you might want to use “2″ instead of the incredibly more difficult to type “to”. Naturally you would want to use “2″ if you are laying on the floor of the bank during a robbery and need to type “Snd cops 2 bnk”. But seriously, does it really require any effort to type that one extra character? Not to mention that typing “onna” actually takes more ..hmm..work.to type than “on a”
Although of course it makes you look like the complete fucktard that way.
I love the way the fat, dumpy chicks extrapolate logic all the way to damn near infinity..”who says you have to look like a supermodel”. Oh yeah, it’s either skanky and obese or a supermodel. No in between there. I think starting with a hairbrish might be in order. I mean, did you get a look at that flowing mane on that pig? I mean horse.
I actually thought the fans of wrasslin were just props and stand ins. I didn’t really think there were actual living breathing humans who followed it. This is like finding a chupacabra or sasquatch. They really do exist.
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Um. Charlotte was the spider.
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There’s a reason everyone thinks that everyone from Greensboro, Alabama are like Forrest Gump, and I’m suddenly thinking it’s not Tom Hank’s fault…
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She has a boyfriend… possibly still a husband… AND is looking for another boyfriend/girlfriend to add to the farm? Was her daughter in the background of the vag-shot? That poor child. It must be confusing growing up in a household where you can’t tell who you’re related to. Maybe you just grow up assuming you’re related to everyone. It’s the south after all, haha.
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There’s a lot to make fun of here, yes indeedy. And I’d get right on that, but my brain is still processing the fact that she “lives onna farm”.
She thinks “on a” is ONE WORD? For serious?!?
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I know where I’ve seen that bra before…. in the JUNIORS undies section at WalMart. That’s why the damn thing doesn’t fit, it’s about four sizes too small and she’s about 20 years too old for the damn thing!
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“PC: Alabama. Can’t find a wife? Raise one!”
Best line ever! I’m still in giggles about it.
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She’s good at being “whitty”? Just not spelling, I guess.
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first thought: OMG! it’s Meat Loaf!
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I am so glad that I’m not the only one who thought that, thank you.
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No one is going to address the “Stars and Bars” heart tattoo??? NO ONE???? Okay then, allow me.
IT’S THE FREAKING CONFEDERATE FLAG ON HER BOOBAY! AND IT’S PINK AND TURQUOISE!!! I hate when I see chicks wearing sports shirts, but instead of the team colors, they’re all pink or sparkly or shit like that. THIS…THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE!!!
I can’t even find blue pillow cases to match my sheets, so where the HELL does someone find a fleecy pot plant bedspread???
And lastly…I watch wrestling. Now, I watch it with much irony and mockery, but still. It’s kinda fun…just sayin.
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