It’s ONLY embarrassing if you admit that you’re wrong.
— By Jami on September 3, 2009 at 7:23 am
Our first JDate submission! YAY!
Ashlee sent this submission in, with the email correspondence:
(from douche)
lol I knew I shouldn’t have left the house that night looking so cute.. will I
ever learn?… haha..
If it was you, you claimed you were a good dancer.. I’m telling you right now to
forget about it! I haven’t lost a dance off in 7 years (3 of them thanks to
group fitness instructing), I even won a trophy once for doing the “Roger
Rabbit” and the “Robot” at the SAME time. I still sleep with it in my arms every
night 
work and clases all week? I can relate, just finished up my master’s from UMD
while working full time! I’ve always liked a smart girl, but I know it’s
important to have fun too (just started taking improv classes in d.c.) – so
guess whattt? I’ve devised a test to tell how creative someone is. It took many
years of study and research to develop it. I’m warning you.. it’s very difficult!!!
Very few have ever had the strength to complete it.
Finish this poem:
Roses are red
Violets are blue…
Good luck
(ashlee)
umm haha sorry definitely not me…. I’ve had work and evening classes all week, sorry.
(douche)
you are totalllly that cute girl who molested me at the bar the other night…
naughty naughty… ha ha
-Allen
Aaaaand, because Ashlee is the shit, she was generous enough to fetch us his profile!
Looking for: Â Â Â Â A date, Friend, Activity Partner
Relocation: Â Â I’m not sure if I want to relocate
Relationship Status: Â Â Single
Children: Â Â Â None
Plan on having children: Â Â Â Â I’m not sure if I want to have children
Custody Situation: Â Â Â I have no children
I keep Kosher: Â Not at all
I go to Synagogue: Â Â Â Sometimes
I smoke: Â Â Â Â Non-Smoker
I drink: Â Â Â Â Socially
Zodiac Sign: Â Â Sagittarius
Activity Level: Very ActivePhysical Info
I am: Â 5′ 10″ (178 cm) I weigh: Â Â Â Â 152 Pounds (69 kg)
My hair is:   Black  My eyes are:   Brown
My body style is closest to: Â Â Firm &TonedBackground
I grew up in: Â The Beach
My ethnicity is: Â Â Â Â Mixed Ethnic
I speak: Â Â Â Â English
My Religion: Â Â Culturally Jewish but not practicing
I studied or am interested in: Â Business: Info Management
My education: Â Master’s Degree
Occupation    Internet/Ecommerce/Technology
Occupation description: Business Doctor (lots of traveling)
Annual income: Â Will tell you later
Political Orientation: Â UnspecifiedPersonality and Interests
My personality is best described as: Adventurous/Wild/Spontaneous, Flirtatious/Playful, High Energy, High Maintenance, Outgoing, Self Confident, Talkative
In my free time, I enjoy: Entertaining, Gambling, Hanging Out with Friends, Intimate Conversations, Motorcycling, Partying, Photography, Shopping, Traveling/Weekend Trips/Adventure, Travel
In my free time, I like to go to: Amusement Parks, Bars/Nightclubs, Beach, Comedy Clubs, Live Theater, Raves/Underground Parties, Shopping Malls, Volunteer Events
My favorite physical activities: Aerobics, Biking, Working Out/Weightlifting, Martial Arts, Yoga/Meditation
My favorite food(s): American, Chinese/Dim Sum
My favorite music: Country, Dance/Electronica, Rap/Hip Hop
I like to read: Fiction, Magazines, Non-FictionRelationships
My perfect first date: No granny panties! (unless you are actually a grandma
My ideal relationship: Able to party, but not a party girl.
My past relationships: Have to screen to make sure you won’t steal our furniture (just re-conditioned the couches) and eat all the marshmallows out of our count chocula… ha. No BORING PEOPLE… You must be fun! In my world everyone is good looking, so what is it thats beautiful about you besides your looks… that’s what’s important.My Ideal Match
Age Range: 18 to 25
Relationship Status: Single, Divorced, Separated, Widowed
Education Level: Elementary, High School, Some College, Associate’s Degree, Bachelor’s Degree, Master’s Degree, JD/Ph.D/Postdoctoral
I am looking for a: I like a girl that’s optimistic and passionate about whatever you set out to do. She’s got goals of pursuing an advanced degree such as Phd or masters. Being able to beat me in a Wii game is a plus.
Ashlee says: “Wonder if that schtick works on every girl on Jdate?” [shaking my head] I certainly HOPE not.
So, can we address the fact that your eyes are blue in that last picture, JDouche Dater? And you list them as brown? Are you really a dude that wears colored contacts?? SOO much to be said about that. *ahem*
And did he just eliminate a potential first date because of her underwear?! What if… I mean, what if it’s laundry day? What if she’s just wearing her period panties? Even I was interested in dating this high maintenance, rave-attending mallrat, I’d intentionally wear my granniest of panties on our first date. Douche.
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
23 Comments
“so
guess whattt? I’ve devised a test to tell how creative someone is. It took many
years of study and research to develop it. I’m warning you.. it’s very difficult!!!
Very few have ever had the strength to complete it.
Finish this poem:
Roses are red
Violets are blue…”
LAME LAME LAME attempts at being clever… he’s got NO game.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
He kind of reminds you of the Night At The Roxbury guys, right?
A Night At The Roxbury – watch more funny videos
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Haha! I was thinking the exact same thing! You beat me to it! I would hate to go up against you in a draw!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
i hate the new format. this is a blog, not a news site.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Thanks for your input, Bob.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I DON’T LIKE YOUR FACE!
Hah. I told him.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
You don’t have to work so hard to win my affection, Stephen.
I already love you.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I don’t hate it, but I WAS totally confused when I first got here. “Did I go to The Onion or something?”
I’m sure it’ll grow on me, I’m just generally squicked out about change. It does look fabulous, though!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I probably should have warned you guys on the actual blog. I mentioned on my Twitter, but realize that I didn’t really mention it here.
I should see if I can play The Talking Heads on the blog when you come visit. “This is not my beautiful house!”
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I love how he assumes he’ll get to see what you’re wearing lingerie-wise on the first date. Wanker.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
In the nuts
is where I’ll kick you.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
I just got looks, Lauren the Lurker. People near my desk were looking at me as I sputtered and choked on my lunch.
Thank you for that.
THAT… I think that needs to be the fine print under KYIT’N on the next date wrecks shirt.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Of course when I hit “submit” I thought of a better line: “And after I kick them, your nuts will be too.” I knew I should have stuck with my 4th-grade plan of being a dirty poet when I grew up.
Thanks for the great site and making my “lunch break” fun too!
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Can I blame you, Jami, when I fill out all future applications and forms I run across with just “KYITN” for each answer? Though maybe I’ll write out the poem for some questions.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
You can just list it like a quote…
“KYITN ~ Jami McDateWreck”
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
my complaint about the new layout is that i can’t just read the submissions like a blog. I like to be able to just scroll down the page reading as i go, and now i’ll have to click on each story individually. so ya, it seems like ease of use has just gone down. It looks really good though!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
The sad truth, Rachel, is that I don’t get paid for what I do here. And in order to keep the wrecks coming I have limited options:
1) I can quit my job, drop my son on a doorstep of a monastery, steal wi-fi and use a 100′ extension cord (long enough to reach from my new home under the bridge) to plug into the outlet on the side of the McDonald’s. Then I would have so much extra time and, really, not much else to do and I could just plug away at daily entries.
2) Litter the place with ads — adding four or five side bars, and making the entire aesthetic of the blog tacky and ugly. Even then, earning any kind of revenue on the blog is minimal and they payout programs for those kind of ad campaigns are often drawn out and sketchy.
3) Change the format of the blog, encouraging you to click. Each time you click on my blog and a new page opens, my new advertising widgit (see it down there on the bottom of the screen? It used to be at the top.) recognizes your click and increases my revenue. Now, I don’t get paid unless you click, but every time you load a new page, my earnings-per-click increases. So far, it hasn’t been much, but I’m hoping with this new layout, you all will click more and hopefully help me keep this gig up and running.
Fun Fact: There has been a new entry every day (save a few weekends around the beginning of the year) of 2009. Not many blogs can say that they do that. I depend on you guys, as readers to help me with submissions. I also depend on you guys — either by donating, buying a shirt, or engaging in the minimial advertising I do put on the site — to help me keep it afloat.
I do understand your frustration, but I think it’s just a case of growing pains. Hopefully you’ll get used to the new format. If EVERYBODY hates it, I’ll go back to a regular blog. But the content will have to slow down quite a bit. I just can’t dedicate the amount of time I’m putting into it (I’m embarrassed to say how much time I spend on this blog *whispers* 10-15 hours a week) without some sort of revenue coming my way.
SO, in closing… Buy a shirt! Make a donation! Or engage in a one of the neato ads that I’ve got on the page.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I guess not all of us can check it everyday!
(..I mean uhhhh.. I don’t do that!)
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Is it just me or do those e-mails seem out of order? He responds to “work and class all week” before she says it in that chain.
Either way, epidouche.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Roses are red
Violets are blue…
You’re a huge douche
So I’ll bid you adieu.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I actually think it’s a good idea to wear grannie panties on a first date so you are sure not to put out. Not shaving your legs is good, too.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
How could you pass up the chance to date Rufio from “Hook”? He wasn’t just a Lost Boy, he was the LEADER.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Oh, this one’s a treasure. A treasure, I say. What with the pirate picture and all, it’s Treasure Fucking Island. BTW, what is a “Business Doctor (lots of traveling)”?
Love it or hate it?
0 
0