So, back in January, I cross posted something from Date Wrecks onto my journal at OkCupid.
It was this post:
How NOT to start an IM conversation on OKC:
douchebag:hey
me:hi there
douchebag:how are you
me:pretty good
me:about to turn in for the night
me:you look much older than 23
douchebag:thx?
me:lol
douchebag:so, whats the tattoo on ur chest for?
me:attention?
me:lol
me:no it’s really in memory of my grandmother
me:she used to wear this god awful qvc-style grandma pendant
douchebag:so u put that same awful pendant on ur chest?
me:mine is way prettier than hers
douchebag:lol
me:so your profile is pretty empty man…
douchebag:well, if u have questions… ud ask
me:lol
me:interesting
me:you message me… and then i’m prompted to ask the questions…
me:this is a whole new experimental thing, no? lol
douchebag:well, if u have questions, ud ask
douchebag:just like i had questions… i asked
me:hmmm…
me:ok
douchebag:like… if ur interested… ud be active
douchebag:active listening… ask questions etc
me:alright, well
me:nice talking to you
me:good luck with this approachAnd then insert some stupid ass rambling from some stupid motherfucker who thinks he’s God’s gift to women.
What the hell is wrong with some people?? If your profile is empty, what is there to be interested in??
And I received a few comments on OkCupid, mostly decent:
- This, unfortunately, is a hilariously accurate summation of most IM conversations I have had with the other fine patrons of OKCupid. It is rumored that the addition of web camera video is being considered for the chat application. I can not fathom a more awful idea. I can only imagine it as a zoetrope of desperate stupidity.
- Funny… this sounds a bit like the “mystery” approach some guys do in bars.
- Wow. After reading this, I think I have more game than Tom Jones now.
- That’s fantastic – maybe that’s where I’m going wrong! From now on, it’s a bare bones profile, chat speak, and mystery for me!
- Hey at least he didn’t ask you for a vagina pic right off the bat.
The last comment would prove to be… Ominous.
Four months would go by until I received another comment on this journal entry… And it was a quick descent downhill:
Thanks for this insight into the phenomenon of IMing, Cyber-dating, and the state-of-art in tastelessness of modern communications in America today, even if imaginary. I am curious though, if asked, would you have shown your ******, on an I-cam, for example?
…Uh. Wait. WHAT? Did you just suggest that I would perhaps show my FUCKING PUSSY on icam?!
So I went and fetched his profile, to see what kind of nth level creepyfuck I was dealing with… Oh god.
Yea, that’s right. Grandpa suggested I reveal my most private of privates on icam. This is… Dammit. Just nasty.
Lecherous. Disgusting. EW.
He took his profile down after he made that comment to me. And it’s a good thing to. Freak beacon, I tell you man… I did, however, get a visit from this man who turns out to be the same dude.
UGH. Nice iStock Photo there, creeptastic.
