Wow. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for this date. It’s a horrible thing, isn’t it? When you find yourself in a situation that is so sad and pathetic that you can’t just BAIL.
Ever have one of those first dates where you were wishing the restaurant would catch fire because you know after the first 10 minutes that it will not end well? Well, my latest first date horror was from a third party friend of a friend type hook up. Â I had talked to this guy on the phone a couple of times, and emailed him before I ever agreed to meet him. Â I’m forty something, and have been down this road before so I’m super cautious about blind dates. Â Ms. Man is a professional, well educated white collar type with a successful career, fairly good looking, etc.
We meet up for dinner and drinks. Â He seemed like a nice guy, but as the dinner went on (with him drinking like a fish) he begins to puke out his sad life story-mainly on how brutal his father abused him by sending him away to school. and never coming to any of his LaCrosse games. Â Ummm, great-I mean what can you say? Â Then he changed the subject to those “Mutha Effin” cops and his psycho ex” who conspired together to do a bogus drug raid on his house, even though he only deals 420 to his close friends. Â The Mutha Effin cops raided his house not once, but twice in a week! Â I sit there, lnot trusting myself to say a word without laughing-I’ll explain that reaction later.
He then carefully, painfully, thoroughly explained how he is now broke due to the legal fees and would I mind buying my own dinner? Â Then he wants to know if I would like go back to his place, smoke a joint and have some sex. Â Yeah. Â Wow, what a way to sweep a gal off her feet!
I chose that moment to ask him if he was interested in what I used to do for a living before my current career. Â As I was flipping cash on the table for my half of the bill and getting up to leave I explained that I was a cop for 14 years-and that I used to work on the narcotics squad, and that I still work as a reserve police officer-all true by the way. Â Of course I made sure he saw my ID badge in my wallet.
Wish I had thought of taking a picture of his face at that moment with my phone to link to this post dear readers…it was priceless.
