He Said — She Said: Cheating-You’re Doing it Wrong
He Said -- She Said — By Jami on October 13, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Jami: Let’s start this episode of He Said — She Said with a letter… Because it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to sit on my hands… Because, contrary to what you might think, I am like this in real life — I can’t just NOT say something when I see something to positively stupid and irritating. I just can’t.
So I didn’t.
I emailed some stupid cunt this:
Subject: Do you realize…
…that your profile is viewable to the entire internet? That someone doesn’t even have to login to get a view of how ridiculously stupid you are to post pictures, not only of your fucking naked body but of your FACE? Your identifiable, easy to pick out of a line up face??
you must be one of those really fucking stupid broads who wants to get caught.
do your child a favor. if you don’t want to be married, get a god damn divorce. what a fantastic example you are setting for your child.
huzzah! stand proud dude.
*ahem*
That felt good. Ready to see the stupid cunt in action?
PC: I love hating cheaters. Â Let’s get it on.
Jami: Get ready to respect her, you guys.
Ass shot
Tittehs
sexybre34
34 / F / straight / Available
Norcross, Georgia
My Self-Summary
I am looking for that something I am not getting at home. I am married, with a very busy lifestyle. I have many demands on my time. So not looking for any extras, but if I have time…I’d love to have some fun.
I like all aspects of sex…I want someone who knows what it means to take there time, and if we get to the finish line great, but want to enjoy all of sex. I am looking for strong man, both mentally and physically…I am submissive by nature, but strong willed. Looking for that person that can help me be submissive.
What I’m doing with my life
In school, will be for the next several years. Mom, EMS worker.
I’m really good at
So many things….many many things
The first things people usually notice about me
my eyes and smile
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
get to know me and find out
Jami: Alright, bitch. It’s on. Let’s go. First off all, lemme clamor up here on this little soapbox and say that I think cheating is wrong. It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong. If you are not happy in a relationship with someone, get the fuck out of it. It’s probably the most spineless thing you can do… It’s even MORE ridiculous when you have a child. Do you UNDERSTAND what a divorce is like? What a custody battle is like? Particularly when your ex has evidence of you doing this kind of shit? In court? It’s a fucking cake walk, that’s what it is.
PC: I’m sure she feel entitled to a little action on the side, because she has sacrificed her happiness by staying home and firing up a fresh batch of Kraft mac and cheese five nights a week. Â Plus, she is going to school to drive an ambulance, which is convenient, because it’s a vehicle that has a gurney in the back. Â And if the guy needs a little pick-me-up, she’s qualified to inject B-12 directly into his cock.
Jami: Beautiful. Now I’m picturing all of the ambalamzzz drivers doin’ it in the back of the trucks. AWESOME. Now, let’s get to your skimpy little profile that matches your scantily clad pictures.
PC: Speaking of pics, can we collectively agree that if ANY of your pictures are taken either in a mirror or with a camera held out at arm’s length, it means you are a loser with no friends to take your picture?
Jami: All in favor?
[Unanimous Aye!] The Ayes have it.
What kind of fucking moron are you that it is going to take you “several years” to become an “EMS”? Also, I think you mean an EMT. You can’t become an Emergency Medical System. You become an Emergency Medical Technician — and it only takes 18-24 months. You also don’t become an Emergency Medical Technician WORKER. Dipshit. Can’t WAIT to get in my next car wreck and see your face hop off the truck! “No, thanks… It’s just a twisted neck. I’ll be fine. *whispers* I heard it took this bitch six years to become an EMT, I really don’t want her helping me, thankyouverymuch.”
PC: Maybe EMS stands for something else, like Extremely Moist Snatch, or Extra-Marital Sex. Â How about Eeww, Mom’s Screwing?
Jami: Electively Maiming Self? That’s what I’M gonna be doing with my life. What you’re doing with your life? Ruining it. RUINER!
PC: It’s all good though, because she’s taking her family down with her, and probably whatever man-whore she’s about to give a case of the herps to.
Jami: If you’re a whore and you know it, clap your… um… Well, ma’am, you have the clap. You’re good at so many things? Like picking out probably the WORST tit tattoo I’ve ever seen in my life? You’re good at getting caught?
PC: I was hoping she was just wearing an ugly bra while she was in the tub. Â That’s really a tit tat? Â She picked that tat for tit? Â Twit. Â Twat. Â Twhatever.
Jami: Twas a terrible mistake, indeed. How in the world would you cover up that monstrosity? Just… color the whole tit in black? That’s offensive. The first thing I noticed about you was your fucking naked, pathetic desperate ass (in the baby sitter’s skirt?). Then your tits. Then your coy my-husband-is-in-the-other-room-giving-my-child-a-bath look.
PC: Hey, that HPV ain’t gonna spread itself. Â Which reminds me, Jami, I need to buy some advertising space on Date Wrecks, I want to start marketing my brand of Kevlar condoms. Â They’re riveted, for her pleasure.
Jami: Oohhh… I’m all about things that are geared towards pleasing me. I’m also pretty sure that you’ve ruined all chance of having any mystery. That’s the beauty of “The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit” — you’re supposed to leave something to the imagination. Stoooopid. I hope you get caught.
PC: She has left something to the imagination. Â I’m imagining a burning sensation when I pee.
Jami: I guess we should be grateful she didn’t also show us her cooch. To her husband, yo… If you’re tall, dark haired, broad shouldered, maybe a bit of an artist but kind of macho…. Gimme a ring. I’ll be your rebound, darling.
PC: You should be safe Jami, I doubt that she’s fucking him. Â Why buy the milk when you can get guys to come on your face for free?
Jami: Well played, PC… Well played. A bit shorter than usual this week, but it’s not the size of the wave…
PC: Size matters.
Jami: Yea, who am I kidding.
PS — After receiving my email, Bre surprised us all. She did something SMART — she deleted her OkCupid profile. Gosh. It sure is a good think we caught it when we did!
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26 Comments
Hey, some of us have lots of friends who’ll take our picture–and some kind of neurological quirk that makes our faces convulse as the flash goes off. Seriously, there are maybe two candid photos in existence where my eyes are open and I look attractive. When I’m alone I’m more relaxed and less prone to twitchiness–plus I can take 500 pictures in a row if that’s what it takes to get a decent one.
But this chick is still a stupid whore.
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Agreed.
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i also take 500 shots for one good one
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My daughter frequently travels alone and takes plenty of self-pics.
Did she write back to tell you she read your email? I hope that was the case… that you influenced the ho bag to take down that nasty profile.
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No, she really was just really, really ridiculously stupid and had no idea that she was she showing her anatomy all over teh innertoobz.
Stupid!
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I’ve got a real thing against cheaters, having been cheated on multiple times. I’m glad you called her out on it!
Maybe it’s just my screen, but is that a picture of a couple of peeled baby carrots in soap suds? Did she spill a container of self tanner down her legs? Using my imagination, I concluded that those were her legs, but I looked at that pic for a couple minutes unsure.
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Two Corn Dogs, State Fair brand if I am not much mistaken, and I an not often mistaken when it comes to convinience food.
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Does it say “slave” on her tat?
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“It’s even MORE ridiculous when you have a child. Do you UNDERSTAND what a divorce is like? What a custody battle is like? Particularly when your ex has evidence of you doing this kind of shit? In court? It’s a fucking cake walk, that’s what it is.”
Unfortunately, that’s not really true, at least when the Mom’s the one doing the cheating. Courts don’t hand fathers full custody just because the mother’s a whore.
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……. all I see when I look at her is the spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore… whats her name?? The one with the big chin??
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Stupid cheater. Oh, and I’m thinking calling yourself 34 might be a wee bit of an exaggeration in this case. Mama looks like she might have a few more miles on her than that.
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great job calling her out…what a dummy.
(small point: I think you meant “clamber,” not “clamor.” clamber is to climb, clamor is to make a hubbub. could happen to anyone.)
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excellent use of the word ‘hubbub’ – not used enough in everyday life, imo.
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People like this piss me off. Its selfish and stupid behavior. As someone who’s mother is an EMT, honestly, you have to KNOW stuff to do that job! You can’t be an illiterate idiot… I doubt she’d actually pass the requisite tests, so no fear of her actually coming to save your life.
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The whole world won’t be very interested in yet another milf wannabe.
But should her child find out, s/he will be scarred for life.
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the way i read the “What I’m doing with my life” section is that yes she is in school for something & will be for a while but she is already a “Mom, EMS worker”. maybe i’m wrong?
what a skank for so very publically screwing her family over!
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Seems like there’s a lot of leaping to conclusions here.
She doesn’t say she’s studying to be an EMT, only that she’s in school (could be studying anything), and that her job is part of the EMS. She could be a dispatcher for an ambulance company for all you know.
Where does it say she’s cheating on anyone? She’s upfront about being married, and doesn’t say anything about sneaking around. Some couples have an arrangement that they get some or all sex elsewhere. Why assume she’s cheating on an unwitting husband without anything to indicate that?
I don’t understand the vitriol directed at this woman — you usually pick more deserving targets.
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Hey, we can agree to disagree. I think infidelity is one of the worst possible things that can happen to a person in a relationship, short of physical or verbal abuse.
The very fact that she scrambled to delete her profile communicates to me that I was right, she is sneaking and she’s being stupid about it.
And since when do we NOT leap to conclusions on HSSS? That’s like… The basis for most of our jokes. Oh, right… Maybe you’re forgetting that this blog is FUNNY.
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I’m pretty sure that if she was in some kind of open relationship type of marriage, she would say so. Why invite speculation when she could so easily avoid people thinking she is cheating? It doesn’t really make sense.
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You beat me to it, Emma. Polyamorous people are RABIDLY anti-cheat–and so are a lot of monogamous people–so if she’s poly but not saying so, she’ll be attracting entirely the wrong crowd.
Also, in my experience, polys will say that they’re in open relationships because love is infinite, people can’t own other people, etc. I’ve never ever heard anyone from that crowd say “I’m looking for what I’m not getting at home”. That’s total cheater-talk: it smacks of bitterness and a bit of vengefulness. This is not someone who’s been happily and openly gettin’ some on the side.
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Jami: All in favor?
[Unanimous Aye!] The Ayes have it.
mirror pictures are the WORST!!!
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I agree that this is wrong. But yeah, cheating is not the worst. Sometimes your mate screwing somebody else is way down on the list of bad, bad things.
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For the most part, I really enjoy your posts; normally I think the people you rip here deserve what they get because they are adults and voluntarily put their lives up on the web. This one, not so much. The difference here is that there ARE children involved, as innocent bystanders. And by re-posting her pictures here — viewable by anyone who cares to look — this woman may yet be called out by her spouse, coworker, neighbor, PTA president, etc….despite her efforts to reign herself in or at least be discreet. As such you aren’t convincing me that you give a shit about her kids; you clearly are more interested in punishing her than protecting them. Don’t get me wrong, I also hate cheaters, and as a married mom of two I can’t imagine what she was thinking. But your post could have been just as effective if you had not posted the pictures, or altered them to blur her face, so that her children aren’t left vulnerable for the sake of entertaining us.
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That’s a fair point… I agree. Going to get to editing the pictures later today.
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She kind of resembles a young Fiona Shaw.
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People of either sex that cheat are selfish A-holers. I always hope they get busted. That’s a total deal-breaker for me.
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