Noooooooooo!

Craigslist Crazies — By Jami on October 30, 2009 at 9:32 am

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I got a HELL of a submission last night, but I wasn’t home. I was able to view it on my G1 (holla!) and also able to snag the pictures, but spaced out on copying the text.

This morning, I just KNEW it would be the perfect pre-Halloween scare and I went to open it and got this.

smil4 Noooooooooo!

So, submitter John… My heart is broken. Really.

But at least I can still share the pictures with you.

1256867820113 Noooooooooo!

1256867820441 Noooooooooo!

Aaaaand, the money shot:

1256867820789 Noooooooooo!

Yes. For real. What I remember of this post was that she was a nineteen year old girl with black hair and green eyes.

I am saddened that this … specimen… is rocking my same hair/eye color combo.

I can assure you though, dear readers. Not all black haired, green eyed girls are stuffing themselves into what appears to be a piece of a shredded latex glove.

If you’ve got a submission, send ‘em! I really haven’t been getting as many as I used to — granted, quality is WAY up. [I'm giggling right now, btw] But send them with the full text & the pictures!

From The Vault

    19 Comments

  • Helen says:

    My eyes!!!!!!!!!

    Need brain bleach.

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  • Meredith says:

    I’m not sure text is needed.

    And Jami, don’t be sad. Now the men who are really into the black hair/green eyes combo will know they don’t need to settle for THIS to get their preferred “type”.

    At times when I feel supremely self-concious and down on myself, I have actually found myself wishing I had the overdeveloped esteem or complete delusion to think I could post a full on ass shot online and get response.

    And then I realize what KIND of response….and I am saved.

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  • Michelle says:

    Seriously. My eyes are fucking bleeding right now. GROSSSSSS!!!!

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  • Dave says:

    There’s a reason why fat people tend to wear sweats. I guess this girl didn’t get the memo. Why is she sucking on a pacifier in that other one?

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  • Hugh says:

    That final snapshot is… just, I mean… no.

    No.

    I’m not sure what’s more epic: the pacifier, or the fact that if you stare at the last picture kinda cross-eyed, it starts to resemble a tin of dinner rolls.

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    • Jen says:

      Tin of dinner rolls! BWAH!

      “Shredded latex glove”, Jami?! I almost got fired for my insane guffawing, thanks.

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  • Josh says:

    I sent it, The youth of the Vegas dating scene

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  • helen says:

    Just yuck. Makes me sad that this girl is only 19. That her parents obviously fell short somewhere in teaching her about self respect, safety, or taste.

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  • Frog says:

    I can’t wear a thong (it drives me crazy in 3′ flat), but I used to think they could look sexy. Not anymore.

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  • Jon says:

    Wow. Vegas, eh? Talk about a thong and dance routine.

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  • Valerie says:

    Someone needs to put that poor thong out of its misery. Honestly, there isn’t much that is sadder than a panty muffin top.

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  • Chantelle says:

    Yes, Valerie, panty muffin tops are sad, sad things. That…that…THING takes it to a whole. new. level.

    A picture, in this case, really *is* worth a thousand words.

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  • LadyPac says:

    And she’s only 19… It’s only gonna get worse than this. WORSE! Can you imagine that? WTF is worse than the worst?

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  • tls says:

    Y’know… I’m fat. And that is why I would not ever take a picture of my ass in the mirror wearing an improvised thong made of “I bought underwear 3 sizes too small for me”. Which, come to think of it, I wouldn’t even do if I were skinny.

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  • Lorelei Lee says:

    That’s not really a thong. Her buns are just bursting out of her “Fat Girl In Denial” knickers, which are all jammed up in her bumcrack.

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  • amber says:

    This is the thing that kills me about people who do this in personals ads. I could care less if you have a nice body or your ass looks like a non-humanoid is trying to escape, like this young lady.

    The shit is gross! Leave something to the imagination, for God’s sakes. Abs and titties and ass are great and all, but I would much rather take a person’s clothes off and find out myself than have to look at oily pecs and ass on the internet beforehand.

    Baring your shit in your okcupid or other profile just seems to me to be the mark of a person that has the Creepy, and why meet a creepy person in real life?

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