Ribbit, baby. Oh yes.

Submission from Caroline and oh.my.holy.hell.

Just read:

: Caption: BANG!

miltonilious

47 / M / straight / Single

Grand Rapids, Michigan

“I am viewing 1000 chicks, on this site, and you’re all crazy”

My Self Summary

And that’s the truth….which I also am…honest that is. I like a lot of stuff…but hate most things. so don’t pressure me.
I like women….I like animals…I think there both delicious, and they make for a well rounded diet. I also eat the other stuff…..vegetables…and fruit…and stuff like that. this is corny…and I’m glad to be a part of it….no shit really. so all you crazy chicks out there looking for your prince charming…well….. keep on stepping….I’m still a frog, unless of course, you like to take chances….than belly up to the key board and drop me a line……..rrrrrrriiiibit…….rrrrrriiibit

What I’m Doing With My Life

sitting here on my lilly pad……flicking my tounge out at stuff that flies by

I’m Really Good At

flicking my tounge out

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

my big nose…it’s the closest thing to them when first we meet

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

all that stuff I wrote up there…….apparently wasn’t enough……yea I like some books….but hate most of them…but you chicks seem to read a lot…you must be really board…..Yea I like music……which music you might ask?…..and I might answer….as for movies….well ……..yea ok movies to ………you can ask about those to.

The six things I could never do without

my lilly pad…….a nice pond………something to flick my toung at………..some chick wanting to kiss a frog………..some clothes after I turn into her crazy freaking prince……oh …and some shoes……yea… some nice shoes…so when she gets to bitchen…I can get to stepping….back to the pond to do this all over again…until I find a foreign chick that I don’t understand the words flying from her pie hole….”yes dear I love you too.”

I spend a lot of time thinking about

what’s it like to be a prince…or a duke….an earl…….the Baron….or hell even…KING…..anything but a god damn frog

On a typical Friday night I am

trying to flick my tounge at something

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I can lick the tip of my nose…and I can breath through my ears…….

You should message me if

you would like to kiss a frog

I think Kermit said it best…

And if that man says one more goddamn thing about flicking his tongue, I’m likely to drive my ass up to Michigan and lop that sucker off my damn self. EW dude!

NO! Women do not want to hear the term “flicking my tongue” directed, even ever so subtly as you have attempted to do it here, EVER EVER EVER. EW.

This is another one of those Date Wrecks that I think would be SO hysterical done up like this You Suck At Craigslist post, video style. Can’t you see it? Oh, now is about the only time that I wish I still dated a film-maker.

I will say, the delivery of this line “…until I find a foreign chick that I don’t understand the words flying from her pie hole….”yes dear I love you too.”" — POETRY baby. Pure fucking poetry.

Panties –> Drop. rrrrrrriiiibit.