Rosie, Darling… Prepare to be de-throned.
Worst Wrecks — By Jami on October 4, 2009 at 8:00 am
Because this lady might just have you beat.
Profiling: Ilayallmen (yes… she, um… lays all men)
She writes better than Rosie, which… I know. It’s not saying a whole hell of a lot. But, she’s quite… Long winded. Grab a comforting beverage and settle in, folks. She keeps you from falling asleep by dropping hot-words like “gangbang” and phrases like, “Desiring to be used in all holes and between the breasts”… Yes.
She totally goes there.
Caption: "Have to move the hair to use the toilet..lol!!"
Ilayallmen
51 / F / straight / Single
Montgomery, Alabama
The Skinny
Ethnicity: White, Other
Height: 5′ 1″ (1.54m).
Looking For: New friends, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals, Casual encounters (sex partners)
Smokes: Yes
Drinks: Rarely
Drugs: Never
Religion: Christianity
Sign: Leo and it’s fun to think about
Education: N/A
Job: Other
Income: N/A
Kids: Has children
Pets: Likes dogs and Likes cats
Languages: English
My Self-Summary
My family will always come first.
Bf passed away last April ’07 and still dealing with it. Lived with him for 6 years. I am separated from my husband for 20+ years because he could not keep a promise to the kids or to me, and a few other reasons! It is financially impossible for us to even consider divorce. He lives in Virginia. He knows where I am and why I am here..in other words even separated, I have not lied to my ex.
I do my best to get along with anyone. I have a sense of humor that can run in or out of the proverbal gutter. I listen well and do not make promises that I am unable to keep. I am big on trust and honesty. I believe if there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship! Jealousy is in the same area as trust. Not in my book!
Am open minded about most things. If I do not know or understand something, I will ask to get a better understanding.
I am a “critter” person. Cats, dogs, birds, hamsters, fish, etc. The only thing that is a bad habit is cigarettes. Never been addicted to drugs or to alcohol, never had an STD and intend to keep it that way! I am “color blind”. I am diverse…color does not matter! Always have been and always will be. I do not like conceited, smart a**, “God’s gift to..” people. I am here just to establish friends and have fun learning about different folks! I am 5’1″ short with brown hair/eyes. Straight.
^^^I do not do cyber or phone,or cam sex Repeat, I do not do cyber or phone or cam sex! (Still getting people wanting to “play” whether or not I have a cam) I will not change my mind!! I prefer the REAL thing in REAL TIME!!!
Have a sense of humor. Oh! Not camera shy either
~! Do not mind a video either! Just have to blurr the face on people that wish it for descretion. Actually, so their wives, co-workers, and family do not recognize them! Just remember to bandage tatoos, scars, and birtmarks!! LOL!!
This is my signature in all of my groups and forums: “Accept people for who they are, never judge a book by it’s cover, respect others and others will respect you.” And I do my best to live by my own words!
If you want to meet, and we ‘click’, I suggest you gentlemen have a place for us, as I am unable to provide a place. My son lives with me. He knows I am on these sites, but not going to ‘rub his nose’ in it. And even if son did not live with me, I would still be hesitant on letting basically a stranger in my home. If you do not have a place, then do not contact me. ADDED: Although it says “Horny as Hell” up top..I am not desperate!
What I’m doing with my life
On computer trying to find friends. Trying to figure out my future. I would like to find some sort of job I can do at home..babysitting is out. I can only put up with my kids..no one else’s! lol! Any ideas would be great! Update (5-6-08): I have a job working at a laundromat as an attendant which is how I managed to get the internet back! Does not pay alot but it manages to pay some of the bills. UPDATE: I HAVE LOST WEIGHT!! WAS A SIZE 22, BUT NOW A LOOSE 14!
I’m really good at
I am interested in cooking, reading/writing erotic-extreme erotic material. Collecting cook books, snow globes, and carosouls.(sp) Enjoy baseball and NASCAR. Of course, sex!
Also used to do and would like to do again is bowling, horseback riding. Would like to sail as I have never done it. Would also like to see the great USofA as I have not traveled to see any of the historical or even the wierd sites. Not by air, by wheels and take my time. Maybe travel by RV. Only problem would be if it broke down!
I also like spur of the moment things..from sex to ..whatever!
The first thing(s) people usually notice about me
My height, face, then boobs! Used to be my hair as it used to be down to my ass crack..now I am not so sure. Best feature to me are my breasts as they are ALL natural. Saggy, but all natural.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
A–Anne Rice “Beauty” series, erotic/extreme erotic material, Mysteries.etc, Clan of The Cave Bear series (cannot remember author’s name), Most of John Grisham’s novels, would like to read books from Lou Dobbs, and Kathrine Crier but I fear they would put me to sleep. B–Pay It Forward, The Erin Brockovich Story, erotic/extreme erotic stuff, Hunt For Red October, The Green Mile, Flight Plan, Panic Room, Steel Magnolias, Grease, Rent(Off-Broadway Play), etc. An occasional porn flick. They get boring after a while…no plot. “Basic Instincts” came close but they cut out the really good parts!C–Anything that makes my feet move! (NO opera! Daytime or night)
The six things I could never do without
My kids(grown), friends, money, food, Oh, and of course,sex!
**Something that was sent to me…Takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life time to forget them. Send this to the people you will never forget including me. It’s a short comment to let them know that you will never forget them, if you don’t send this to anyone it means you are in a hurry and that you have forgotten all about your friends… if you get a dozen of them back then you are truly loved …Hugs…
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Think about what is going to happen to me when…How will I live, survive? Mostly, thinking about sex. Gangbangs, gentle romantic sex to a touch rough and both at the same time. Breasts being played with, mauled, kneaded, gently pinched, sucked Am into “kinky sex”as well. Although I am starved, will not throw caution in the wind for a meet. That is not safe for anyone to do now days! No telling what crazies are out there!
On a typical Friday night I am
Working. Right now, I am working 7 nights a week until a third person can be found. I worked 56 hours last week!Here on computer. Desiring to be used in all holes and between the breasts…wait, that is every night!
My greatest wish is to be healthy & wealthy without consequences to anyone. This way I can take care of my kids and not have to worry about money. Next wish is to be able to swallow cock and swallow cum without the gag effect! Guess the latter takes practice, practice, practice!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
I am one of those rare people that do not like soap operas, night time soap operas, & shopping. I go to a store and get what I need, and leave. There are times when I go into a store and my mind suddenly goes blank! Sound familar? I do not “nag” and rarely ramble. I am making all this for the percentage to go up. Want to see what happens when I make it to 100%! But, all that is written is true and from the heart!
You should message me if
You do not see me as a cold, heartless person for wanting man’s touch(s), his embrace, his lips, his scent.
She goes on to include one of her journal entries, which is really… I mean, it’s really sad. Her boyfriend passed away and bless her heart, she goes into detail about how they got sick from the turpentine (?) and it’s just… It’s uncomfortable. Like the kind of discomfort when, while at Thanksgiving dinner, Granny starts to describe the shape and consistency of her bowels.
Ew, lady. We don’t want to hear about it.
Also — this woman’s journal. Hole-ee-chit. If a journal could have ADD and some real mental dysfunction, it would look something like hers. She details gang-rape fantasies and then shares a funny little forward from the “Here’s Your Sign” guy. We get a funny little story about mustard that all you parents out there are sure to relate to, and then follows it up with some kind of story about how her dart-pierced bewbies are turned into salsa bowls? Something like that. I had a hard time reading all of that stuff.
I just… Mercy.
All I’m saying is that Rosie has some serious competition. This broad may be book-smart, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a total Wreck…
Originally posted on July 17, 2009
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36 Comments
Oof. My question is… why go to the trouble to post a body shot and a photo of your hair when you mention in the post that you no longer look like that and you cut your hair? I mean, there are of course PLENTY of other things I could ask about, but I’m sticking to that.
.-= FunnyGal KAT´s last blog ..I think I’m hilarious. The PH? Not so much. =-.
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Umm…how does one describes oneself as a ‘Lady first!’ then go post topless photos and describe how one’s second greatest desire is to learn how to ‘swallow cock and swallow cum without the gag effect’??! Ladies don’t do that; they sip tea with their ankles crossed and learn to talk about the weather in Swiss finishing schools. There’s no talk of fellatio in polite ‘lady’ circles.
Ew. I feel all gross for having read this, like I need to go shower then sanitize the house with bleach and pine sol or something.
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I’m actually speechless. You actually made me speechless….
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Dear God in Heaven.
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Dude. Jen. Seriously? C’mon… I’m sure you’ve got something deep inside you that is bubbling up to the surface.
I should take this time to mention that Hottie32007 has taken her profile down. I guess it’s only right that someone swoop in and carry on the legacy of the Wrecky-est Broad.
.-= Jami´s last blog ..Rosie, Darling… Prepared to be de-throned. =-.
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Oh wait. Except that WHO THE FUCK BRAGS THAT THEIR TITS ARE “ALL NATURAL, BUT SAGGY”!!!! Oh yay! I can’t wait to get all up in your naturally saggy mammaries! What a treat!
I’m guessing here, and I may be totally wrong, that the sad truth is that a lot of men would prefer some artificially unsagged boobs to saggy natural ones. I’ll be the first to admit that my boobs wouldn’t fit perfectly into a wine glass, but I certainly wouldn’t put in my dating profile that my knockers hang down to my knees, and brag that it’s all natural! I mean fuck, if you’re jugs are saggy, I’m PRETTY sure everyone is going to KNOW that they’re natural…
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Ha! I totally wrote that before I saw your post!
Ah, you know me too well, my friend.
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I am flummoxed by the fact that she openly states that she wants all her holes filled and she craves the cock, but the “most private thing the will admit” is that she doesn’t enjoy shopping or soap operas?
Lady, lemme ‘splain what “private” means…
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I love that she puts all of the “erotic” desires and thoughts she has…but where it asks for “Most personal thing you are willing to admit here” she writes about shopping and soap operas.
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This/she is just icky. I like to think I am a lady, but if she is also in that category, I’d rather be a slut. I think that would be classier than her.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Thrifty-ness from the Challenge =-.
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Ah yes, these are the days when someone forwards your mom a “cute little thing” they got in e-mail, and she may use it on here personal profile right before sharing her desire to be gangbanged.
All she needs is the little “Hang in There” kitty, in between her nude titties and a shot of her ass.
And I used to work with a lot of women like this.
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*So THAT’S who’s writing the smutty Twilight FanFic I’ve been reading!
*I like that AFTER she tells us she likes having her breasts MAULED, she admits she’d down with the kink.
.-= Nita´s last blog ..Soundtrack =-.
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This is a cut above everything you’ve had for a while (er, no insult). I love the fact that she’s basically pretty articulate, and that 90% of that is perfectly normal–if a wee bit low-class–stuff, and then occasionally veers off into slutty weirdness. It’s almost as if her profile has been hacked, but it oh-too-obviously hasn’t been.
.-= Sabra´s last blog ..Wait, what? =-.
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Wow, I am so impressed that she’s willing to share that she doesn’t like soap operas! This lady is full of self esteem and is truly comfortable with herself. I mean, I’ve yet to be able to admit to anyone that I think “Sex in the City” is worthless, so I give her kudos for being so open and honest. Wow, I aspire to be like here. Saggy boobs and all.
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“I do not ‘nag’ and rarely ramble.”
Ummm…wasn’t that whole thing (I didn’t look at the journal) pretty much a stream-of-consciousness RAMBLE?!?!
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Yes, marn. And therein lies the beauty.
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I really really really have to stop reading these at work.
All this saggy mauling is going to get me fired. Then what Jami? THEN WHAT??
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What’s that, Melly? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of washing my own hands…
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Oh, marn, that was my thought, too!
Dear God. Just…dear God…
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“I would still be hesitant on letting basically a stranger in my home.”
Yes. Yes. I see. Indeed she would feel more comfortable with letting a stranger “in all holes and between the breasts…”
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How in the hell has nobody called me on the typo in the TITLE of this post? Holy hell.
Prepared? I’m a dipshit. I need to quit writing these posts late at night. Or proofread or something.
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oh my gawd- that first pic.. oh my gawd…
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“How in the hell has nobody called me on the typo in the TITLE of this post? Holy hell.”
We were so bedazzled by the first pic we didn’t notice the title.
.-= Constance´s last blog ..Project #1 =-.
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Ew…just fucking EW!!
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Wow, An Award!! =-.
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“The six things I could never do without
My kids(grown), friends, money, food, Oh, and of course,sex!”
Um, that’s only 5.
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Hmmm…I dunno…I feel bad about making fun of this lady. She’s not annoying, just unexpected…
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Seriously?? Did you READ the post?
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I almost feel badly for her. And you know there are guys that are going to take advantage of her (she says she wants all her holes filled and to be the best blow-jobber ever, but there’s theory and then there’s practice)… I just think she’s lonely and disillusioned. And sad.
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Poor thing – she sounds lonely, sad, and pathetic. What must she think of herself to submit such a horrible expose ? Sad, sad, sad.
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I specially liked the part about adamently NOT doing cam or cyber, or NOT doing CAM, and NOT doing CAM….but is okey-dokey with videos and pics. WTF? And be sure to hide the scars, birthmarks, tattos, skin lesions, scabs, boils, warts, open sores, and recent stitches from any kdiney transplant, or else you’ll be recognized by your girlfriend.
Is it ok if I just hide my skin entirely? By it crawling off of me?
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And oh, by the way.
Was a Size 22 but now a loose 14.
That is her skin she is referring to. The skin is now a loose 22.
A human sharpei.
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I wish, I wish, I hadn’t read this sentence:
“Have to move the hair to use the toilet..lol!!”
You don’t KNOW how badly I wish I hadn’t read that.
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“I do not think that femine affection toward one another is offensive. Women tend to be far more homosexually oriented than men and it is purely a femine thing to fondle and kiss.”
`
Translation: I like watching chicks make out with each other.
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Haven’t finished reading this yet, but I just have to say…in what world is Rent an “off-Broadway play”? Does she think that because it’s theater was on 42nd Street and not Broadway itself that it’s “off-Broadway”?
That being said, there was definitely some other crazy shit on this page. Absolute wreck!
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Holy hell. OMG. I don’t even know if I can form words to describe my reaction. LOL
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