Because this lady might just have you beat.

Profiling: Ilayallmen (yes… she, um… lays all men)

She writes better than Rosie, which… I know. It’s not saying a whole hell of a lot. But, she’s quite… Long winded. Grab a comforting beverage and settle in, folks. She keeps you from falling asleep by dropping hot-words like “gangbang” and phrases like, “Desiring to be used in all holes and between the breasts”… Yes.

She totally goes there.

Caption: "Have to move the hair to use the toilet..lol!!"

Ilayallmen

51 / F / straight / Single

Montgomery, Alabama

The Skinny

Ethnicity: White, Other

Height: 5′ 1″ (1.54m).

Looking For: New friends, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals, Casual encounters (sex partners)

Smokes: Yes

Drinks: Rarely

Drugs: Never

Religion: Christianity

Sign: Leo and it’s fun to think about

Education: N/A

Job: Other

Income: N/A

Kids: Has children

Pets: Likes dogs and Likes cats

Languages: English

My Self-Summary

My family will always come first.

Bf passed away last April ’07 and still dealing with it. Lived with him for 6 years. I am separated from my husband for 20+ years because he could not keep a promise to the kids or to me, and a few other reasons! It is financially impossible for us to even consider divorce. He lives in Virginia. He knows where I am and why I am here..in other words even separated, I have not lied to my ex.

I do my best to get along with anyone. I have a sense of humor that can run in or out of the proverbal gutter. I listen well and do not make promises that I am unable to keep. I am big on trust and honesty. I believe if there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship! Jealousy is in the same area as trust. Not in my book!

Am open minded about most things. If I do not know or understand something, I will ask to get a better understanding.

I am a “critter” person. Cats, dogs, birds, hamsters, fish, etc. The only thing that is a bad habit is cigarettes. Never been addicted to drugs or to alcohol, never had an STD and intend to keep it that way! I am “color blind”. I am diverse…color does not matter! Always have been and always will be. I do not like conceited, smart a**, “God’s gift to..” people. I am here just to establish friends and have fun learning about different folks! I am 5’1″ short with brown hair/eyes. Straight.

^^^I do not do cyber or phone,or cam sex Repeat, I do not do cyber or phone or cam sex! (Still getting people wanting to “play” whether or not I have a cam) I will not change my mind!! I prefer the REAL thing in REAL TIME!!!

Have a sense of humor. Oh! Not camera shy either ~! Do not mind a video either! Just have to blurr the face on people that wish it for descretion. Actually, so their wives, co-workers, and family do not recognize them! Just remember to bandage tatoos, scars, and birtmarks!! LOL!!

This is my signature in all of my groups and forums: “Accept people for who they are, never judge a book by it’s cover, respect others and others will respect you.” And I do my best to live by my own words!

If you want to meet, and we ‘click’, I suggest you gentlemen have a place for us, as I am unable to provide a place. My son lives with me. He knows I am on these sites, but not going to ‘rub his nose’ in it. And even if son did not live with me, I would still be hesitant on letting basically a stranger in my home. If you do not have a place, then do not contact me. ADDED: Although it says “Horny as Hell” up top..I am not desperate!

What I’m doing with my life

On computer trying to find friends. Trying to figure out my future. I would like to find some sort of job I can do at home..babysitting is out. I can only put up with my kids..no one else’s! lol! Any ideas would be great! Update (5-6-08): I have a job working at a laundromat as an attendant which is how I managed to get the internet back! Does not pay alot but it manages to pay some of the bills. UPDATE: I HAVE LOST WEIGHT!! WAS A SIZE 22, BUT NOW A LOOSE 14!

I’m really good at

I am interested in cooking, reading/writing erotic-extreme erotic material. Collecting cook books, snow globes, and carosouls.(sp) Enjoy baseball and NASCAR. Of course, sex!

Also used to do and would like to do again is bowling, horseback riding. Would like to sail as I have never done it. Would also like to see the great USofA as I have not traveled to see any of the historical or even the wierd sites. Not by air, by wheels and take my time. Maybe travel by RV. Only problem would be if it broke down!

I also like spur of the moment things..from sex to ..whatever!

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

My height, face, then boobs! Used to be my hair as it used to be down to my ass crack..now I am not so sure. Best feature to me are my breasts as they are ALL natural. Saggy, but all natural.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

A–Anne Rice “Beauty” series, erotic/extreme erotic material, Mysteries.etc, Clan of The Cave Bear series (cannot remember author’s name), Most of John Grisham’s novels, would like to read books from Lou Dobbs, and Kathrine Crier but I fear they would put me to sleep. B–Pay It Forward, The Erin Brockovich Story, erotic/extreme erotic stuff, Hunt For Red October, The Green Mile, Flight Plan, Panic Room, Steel Magnolias, Grease, Rent(Off-Broadway Play), etc. An occasional porn flick. They get boring after a while…no plot. “Basic Instincts” came close but they cut out the really good parts!C–Anything that makes my feet move! (NO opera! Daytime or night)

The six things I could never do without

My kids(grown), friends, money, food, Oh, and of course,sex!

**Something that was sent to me…Takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire life time to forget them. Send this to the people you will never forget including me. It’s a short comment to let them know that you will never forget them, if you don’t send this to anyone it means you are in a hurry and that you have forgotten all about your friends… if you get a dozen of them back then you are truly loved …Hugs…

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Think about what is going to happen to me when…How will I live, survive? Mostly, thinking about sex. Gangbangs, gentle romantic sex to a touch rough and both at the same time. Breasts being played with, mauled, kneaded, gently pinched, sucked Am into “kinky sex”as well. Although I am starved, will not throw caution in the wind for a meet. That is not safe for anyone to do now days! No telling what crazies are out there!

On a typical Friday night I am

Working. Right now, I am working 7 nights a week until a third person can be found. I worked 56 hours last week!Here on computer. Desiring to be used in all holes and between the breasts…wait, that is every night!

My greatest wish is to be healthy & wealthy without consequences to anyone. This way I can take care of my kids and not have to worry about money. Next wish is to be able to swallow cock and swallow cum without the gag effect! Guess the latter takes practice, practice, practice!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I am one of those rare people that do not like soap operas, night time soap operas, & shopping. I go to a store and get what I need, and leave. There are times when I go into a store and my mind suddenly goes blank! Sound familar? I do not “nag” and rarely ramble. I am making all this for the percentage to go up. Want to see what happens when I make it to 100%! But, all that is written is true and from the heart!

You should message me if

You do not see me as a cold, heartless person for wanting man’s touch(s), his embrace, his lips, his scent.

She goes on to include one of her journal entries, which is really… I mean, it’s really sad. Her boyfriend passed away and bless her heart, she goes into detail about how they got sick from the turpentine (?) and it’s just… It’s uncomfortable. Like the kind of discomfort when, while at Thanksgiving dinner, Granny starts to describe the shape and consistency of her bowels.

Ew, lady. We don’t want to hear about it.

Also — this woman’s journal. Hole-ee-chit. If a journal could have ADD and some real mental dysfunction, it would look something like hers. She details gang-rape fantasies and then shares a funny little forward from the “Here’s Your Sign” guy. We get a funny little story about mustard that all you parents out there are sure to relate to, and then follows it up with some kind of story about how her dart-pierced bewbies are turned into salsa bowls? Something like that. I had a hard time reading all of that stuff.

I just… Mercy.

All I’m saying is that Rosie has some serious competition. This broad may be book-smart, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a total Wreck…

Originally posted on July 17, 2009