You’re a slut… But that’s okay because I am too.
Craigslist Crazies — By Jami on October 21, 2009 at 10:04 pm
You may be asking yourself, “What in the world does this blog post have to do with that HORRIBLE picture of you, Jami?” Just read on… Trust me.
You R traditional, non-slut,moral,Latino/Italian/Jewish/European,22-34 – 36 (chicago, evanston, burbs)
I am curious if there are any sexy, gorgeous, low maintenance, down to earth, traditional, non-liberal head case sluts left?:)
What do I mean by Non-Sluts:
*You are 22-35
*You haven’t been with more than 0-few guys (just serious boyfriends–not flings) and can swear on your mother’s soul, your future children,–or take a lie detector test
*You haven’t had ANY one night stands or hookups that didn’t mean anything and you don’t count them–including any flings on vacation that only you know about and keeping a secret
*You believe oral or anal sex is sex and is part of sex and you don’t separate or indulged in either or if it wasn’t part of a relationship–including the ones in the car if you met some guys and never talked with them again
*You don’t use vibrators or dildos as a substitute for men and you can have a normal natural orgasm with a man
*You don’t believe in seeing or dating more than one person at a time
*You don’t have too many guy friends or think its normal to be friends with ex’es
*You dont go out until 4 a.m. drinking martinis at the Viagra Triangle on Rush Street only to say “you have to trust me” the next morningWhat do I mean by traditional:
*You are not climbing any corporate ladder or stepping over corpses to get what you want (so if you work in a loop law firm or corporate type job where you come home at 10 p.m.–move on)
*You don’t define yourself by your job or career
*You are making plans with your personal life and not saying “I love being single. Its great!”
*You know the difference between male/female roles and you dont put on liberal feminist or b.s. attitudes
*You don’t hate your father
*Your ethnicity and or religious/spiritual beliefs can range from jewish to catholic (without the head case drama associated with either one)
*You are looking for “the one” and not “the one right now”What I mean by low maintenance, down to earth, non-head case:
*you are naturally beautiful and dont need to look like a racoon with makeup
*you are just as fine eating at Pita Inn as you are having sushi
*you are open to new adventures without turning it into drama
*you pay or at least offer to pay for some of dates
* you don’t torture yourself about trying to be in rat race and competing with anyone and everyone
*you make a decent living or you are an entrepreneur but you don’t rub it into other;s faces
*you are not a high strung, medicine popping drama queen, chronic worrier, or see a shrink
*you workout in moderation without being a gym whore and can alternate between weights, yoga, aerobics, hiking, etc
* you are spiritual but not fanatically religious
*you have a calm, mellow, demeanor about you and your energy soothes
*you are conscious of being someone’s mirror, life partner, and biggest fan
*you don’t smoke, rarely drink, no drugs
* you are preferably an earth or water sign (except for capricorns(materialistic frigid bitches:)
* you are thankful for being alive and healthy over anything elseWhat I mean by sexy and gorgeous–
*if you dont know what this means-_I cant help youAbout me:
6’0, Euro-American with jewish roots but spiritual lifestyle,, athletic, down to earth, easy going, professional, super handsome, conservative, not politically correct, and then somesend a pic or two and a comprehensive email–
Well shit. I wanna know what “…and then some” means… Do you think he’s got a big dick? Or a uterus?
Here’s my answers to his little… criteria: (if I meet his criteria, I’m putting my answer in green… if not, I’m putting my answer in red… As in scarlet. As in the scarlet letter… AKA Whorey, liberal, modern, slut bag shit.
NON-SLUT CHECKLIST
*You are 22-35 Check
*You haven’t been with more than 0-few guys (just serious boyfriends–not flings) and can swear on your mother’s soul, your future children,–or take a lie detector test Aw, fuck. Define “serious boyfriends”… I’m QUITE certain I could pass a lie detector test though. Bring it on!
*You haven’t had ANY one night stands or hookups that didn’t mean anything and you don’t count them–including any flings on vacation that only you know about and keeping a secret Sweet, Jesus. It’s like he’s in my head. Paulo, if you’re reading this, I miss you. That summer in Italy was one of the best of my life.
*You believe oral or anal sex is sex and is part of sex and you don’t separate or indulged in either or if it wasn’t part of a relationship–including the ones in the car if you met some guys and never talked with them again Woah. This is getting creepy. Was there a traffic camera filming me get anally gang banged by those guys a couple of summers ago? And isn’t road head a proper compensation for someone giving me a ride to work? It’s NOT!?
*You don’t use vibrators or dildos as a substitute for men and you can have a normal natural orgasm with a man …FML
*You don’t believe in seeing or dating more than one person at a time Maybe I need to go back to church.
*You don’t have too many guy friends or think its normal to be friends with ex’es Whew. I’m in the clear. I’ve only got four friends total and 75% of them have vaginas! Huzzah!
*You dont go out until 4 a.m. drinking martinis at the Viagra Triangle on Rush Street only to say “you have to trust me” the next morning FUCK ME. How does this guy know where I’m at and what I’m doing??
TRADITIONAL CHECKLIST
*You are not climbing any corporate ladder or stepping over corpses to get what you want (so if you work in a loop law firm or corporate type job where you come home at 10 p.m.–move on) Whew, I think I’m okay here. I have no upward mobility in my career choice and am home, at the latest, by 8pm. YES! Of course, this has less to do with my desire to climb a corporate ladder and more to do with my inherent laziness that has a crippling effect on my life. But I CERTAINLY don’t have the kind of self-motivation to be a lawyer!
*You don’t define yourself by your job or career Sometimes I ask myself, “Self, what’s it like to make fun of people every day?” That’s pretty fucking awesome. I guess that makes me an asshole, which… would… I suppose by definition describe me. Damn it all to hell!
*You are making plans with your personal life and not saying “I love being single. Its great!” Um, but being single is great. I get to go on dates with weirdos over and over again and sometimes, meet someone cool. Of course, that person always ends up being emotionally unavailable, but usually I can get some sex out of the whole deal. Then there’s the constant critical eye on my clothing and my body and my hair and my skin because I’m always under pressure to appear, “dateable.” So yea… I mean… Being single rocks. And you wanna talk about plans? I got plans. I’m actually trying to work out a vacation to Chicago for New Years… How’s that for direction??
*You know the difference between male/female roles and you dont put on liberal feminist or b.s. attitudes Oh, totes, mister. Totally! I am so totally down with staying at home and not having to work. I’ll make sure dinner is on the table, but only if I’m within delivery range of great restaurants and you give me an AmEx. And, I’m going to probably need to have the cleaning lady come once a week because I am incapable of doing my own laundry! Augh. Feminists and their incessant need to feel valuable!
*You don’t hate your father I do love my daddy…
*Your ethnicity and or religious/spiritual beliefs can range from jewish to catholic (without the head case drama associated with either one) Sweet. I am a Pagan/Zorastrian
*You are looking for “the one” and not “the one right now” I mean… Of course. Not RIGHT now. I’m reading your post on my G1 phone while I take a crap. I’m into a lot of things, mister, but sex while I poop is not one of them.
LOW MAINTENANCE, DOWN TO EARTH, NON-HEAD CASE CHECKLIST:
*you are naturally beautiful and dont need to look like a racoon with makeup Hm. I can’t remember the last time a woman tried to look like a raccoon by altering her makeup. Is this a veiled way of asking me if I’m a furry? Because I’m not.
*you are just as fine eating at Pita Inn as you are having sushi While they both sound like lovely establishments, I’m not sure I understand how I’m supposed to find food at a lodging facility for pita bread. You can’t expect me to actually storm into this hotel and EAT all their guests?? Also, I can’t eat sushi. It’s against my religion.
*you are open to new adventures without turning it into drama Adventures, eh? I like living on the edge… I’m down. But if I get hurt in any way, physically or emotionally, I’m going to sue. My and Judge Judy… We’re like THIS. And her show is real as fuck, no drama there.
*you pay or at least offer to pay for some of dates Oh no, darling. Hell no. Sorry. I’m super poor. I’m a single mother. Don’t you care about the children? Don’t you care about your future? If I have to pay for my McChicken, that is like taking food out of my son’s mouth, ya hear me?? Are you trying to tell me that you want my son to starve to death? But I mean, I’ll offer… So long as you agree to always follow up my offer with, “No, baby. I got it. Of course I do. Don’t be silly. I want you to keep all your money to help you raise that boy up right.” VERBATIM.
* you don’t torture yourself about trying to be in rat race and competing with anyone and everyone Oh gross! No. I think rats are creepy looking and gross. Rest assured, I will not have anything to do with any sort of rodent.
*you make a decent living or you are an entrepreneur but you don’t rub it into other;s faces Define, “rub it into other’s faces”… Because I’m short… And I TRY to rub my George Washingtons in people’s faces, but I usually just get their chins. I just can’t reach their faces. I’m coloring this answer green.
*you are not a high strung, medicine popping drama queen, chronic worrier, or see a shrink Well shit. Nevermind.
*you workout in moderation without being a gym whore and can alternate between weights, yoga, aerobics, hiking, etc By alternate, do you mean change channels on the TV? I can do that.
* you are spiritual but not fanatically religious Sorry. That’s also against my religion. Lord Zorast commands me to be something of a fanatic. Did you see my neato black nike sneakers??
*you have a calm, mellow, demeanor about you and your energy soothes …Yea, this might not work out darling. I tend to default to KYITN when you’re pissing me off.
*you are conscious of being someone’s mirror, life partner, and biggest fan I can promise you that I will look at myself in the mirror constantly.*
*you don’t smoke, rarely drink, no drugs Damn, damn, damn, daaaaaaamn.
* you are preferably an earth or water sign (except for capricorns(materialistic frigid bitches:) YAY! I’m a water sign. But be warned, I am the deadly and deceptive Scorpio. That Capricorn does sound like a total slut bag.
* you are thankful for being alive and healthy over anything else How very sunshiney of you! But no… I’m kind of a cunt… Pretty negative and SUPER critical. I am most thankful for the opportunity to judge people all.the.time.
SEXY CHECKLIST
*if you dont know what this means-_I cant help you Oh baby I know. I know how to rock the sexy.
Totally making the [call me] sign.
*blue answers are just there to be pretty, okay?
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49 Comments
Jami. Honey.
You know I’m here for you. Call me at any time.
We can work through this.
Together.
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I’m so dissapointed I don’t meet his criteria. He sounds like such a catch. Unfortunately, I smoke and drink and am also a giant slut bag and a head case. Damnit, I’ll just go cry now.
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Don’t worry Pixie, you totally meet my criteria. Being a smokin, drinkin, slut IS a requirement to date me. In fact, as I was reading this I actually thought to myself, “this is the anti-me writing this”.
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“I’m into a lot of things, mister, but sex while I poop is not one of them. ”
Crying. I am crying. Shit, this made me laugh.
Since I’m obviously too slutty and head case-y for this man I have figured out what he needs: a nice Amish girl.
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true story man. I like to poop in peace.
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I have a feeling a first date with him would involve apple strudel, 2 coffees, and end in spooning. Oh dear! On this note I solemnly swear off dating forever.
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Well played, Bridgette!
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You’re a G1 owner? I’m … rather impressed.
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Are you now? haha
I am so addicted to this phone it’s not even funny.
*whispers* I’m almost ready to add it to my six things I can’t live without list.
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hello? baggage anyone?
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God I love you sometimes. Ok, all the time, but extra at times like these. CHI-TOWN.
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Girl please. New Years is going to be the shiiiiiiiit. OMG.
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Wow… so this guy wants a traditional girl… who’ll pay for dinner sometimes and who has a job. Doesn’t that go against being traditional?
And it’s okay to be an entrepreneur, so long as the girl doesn’t come home too late.
I can see it now…
“Honey, I’ve got a million shipments yet to do, I’m not going to have any products ready for tomorrow morning, and it’s 9:47. I promised you I’d buy dinner tonight, even though sales are low because I have nothing to sell so I barely have any money. Everything’s fine, though! No drama whatsoever. What’s that? You want to get to bed early tonight? That’s fine, even though I was planning on some action tonight. Wish there was a way I could satisfy myself in bed without you, you know? I don’t have much experience in that department, since you’re the first guy I’ve ever been with.”
I could continue, but… I’m just going to feel bad for the doormat who replies to this guy.
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“Wow… so this guy wants a traditional girl… who’ll pay for dinner sometimes”
I was gonna say! He wants a chick who knows the difference between male and female roles–and yet HE doesn’t seem to know!
As I understand it, if a girl is supposed to relinquish her life and her career aspirations and sit around yearning for her special “gentleman friend” to come over and stick his dick in whichever hole he wants, the compensation is that the guy BUYS HER PRESENTS (and food and rent). Duh.
Super Lurve
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thank you marybeth, for already zeroing on what struck me instantly (besides that this guy is quite an amazing douche) – that he wants a woman who knows her “traditional” role, but will also work, and pay for some dates.
and if you come without a man in the room, he wants nothing to do with you – that’s awesome. there’s someone who wants your feedback in the bedroom.
he’s got quite a laundry list of demands.
jami – your pic is adorable.
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Jami, after reading your responses, I’ve realized that you’re the type of woman I’ve always dreamed of meeting. You’re practically perfect in every way!
In other news, douche guy is a total douche.
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Its the lightening bolt eyeliner isn’t it, Jon?
I will admit, I use *some* little white lies. Ha! The real genius is that I’m not telling you which ones are lies.
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Thanks, dude. I didn’t think it was possible, but congratulations: you’ve managed to make our gender look even more obnoxious than we did already.
And in other news: if more of my colleagues had Jami’s attitude toward carpooling, I’d be a lot more environmentally conscious.
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Commence insane giggling on my part.
All of my comments on this post are being sent directly from my precious G1.
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The saddest personal ads are the ones where you can clearly see the emotional baggage. This guy probably had a girlfriend cheat on him with an ex. And he’s terrible in bed.
And being single is awesome, dammit. As long as you’re completely single. It’s trying to date that sucks. Or at least this has been my experience.
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I think the application to work for the FBI has fewer “must never have __” in it. o.0
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But the FBI does have similar sexual hangups, they really don’t like it if you have ever paid for sex for instance. As every married man knows, you pay, and pay, and pay.
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I don’t know if I can post a comment this long, but I’m compelled to see how I do on this test.
*You are 22-35 ***Woohoo! Battin’ a thousand so far!***
*You haven’t been with more than 0-few guys (just serious boyfriends–not flings) and can swear on your mother’s soul, your future children,–or take a lie detector test ***Sweet! I’ve only ever been with one guy, and it was when I was sixteen. He wasn’t a serious boyfriend or anything. I was just experimenting while I was still in high school, but I think I still get points for this one.***
*You haven’t had ANY one night stands or hookups that didn’t mean anything and you don’t count them–including any flings on vacation that only you know about and keeping a secret ***Ummm… Are we still just talking about with guys? Because I can’t count the number of random women I’ve randomly had sex with and never spoken to again. I mean, I vacation at Burning Man every year. What do you expect?***
*You believe oral or anal sex is sex and is part of sex and you don’t separate or indulged in either or if it wasn’t part of a relationship–including the ones in the car if you met some guys and never talked with them again ***I oral sex, but anal has never really done anything for me. Still, if you want me to stick something up YOUR ass I’m totally game***
*You don’t use vibrators or dildos as a substitute for men and you can have a normal natural orgasm with a man ***Well, my vibrator is most definitely not a substitute for a man. It’s more a preventitive measure against carpal tunnel because I’m hyper-sexual but no longer a great big slut, so I service myself several times a day. I’m fully capable of natural orgasms… Actually they come (haha, come) really easily to me. If there’s a guy hanging around that might make it more challenging though.***
*You don’t believe in seeing or dating more than one person at a time ***I’m with ya on this one. One girl is more than enough work, thank you.***
*You don’t have too many guy friends or think its normal to be friends with ex’es ***All my guy friends are gay. I’m friends with two of my exes, but they’re both gorgeous, so I doubt you’d see this as a bad thing.***
*You dont go out until 4 a.m. drinking martinis at the Viagra Triangle on Rush Street only to say “you have to trust me” the next morning ***I don’t even understand that sentence, so I’m probably safe to say ‘check’ on this one***
What do I mean by traditional: ***My guess would be you’re a sexist pigshit***
*You are not climbing any corporate ladder or stepping over corpses to get what you want (so if you work in a loop law firm or corporate type job where you come home at 10 p.m.–move on) ***Nope. I’m a starving artist who goes to school part-time and works full-time at a low paying but highly rewarding job. I don’t think I would know a corporate ladder if I got smacked over the head with one.***
*You don’t define yourself by your job or career ***Hahaha. If anyone at my work defined themself by their job they would need a serious talking to.***
*You are making plans with your personal life and not saying “I love being single. Its great!” ***I actually do love being single. And ‘making plans with your personal life’ sounds a bit like thinly veiled stalking to me.***
*You know the difference between male/female roles and you dont put on liberal feminist or b.s. attitudes ***I know the difference, but unless you’re buying me a Lexus and taking me to Hawaii every two weeks, you can iron your own fucking shirts.***
*You don’t hate your father ***I love my dad. He’s the greatest. I hate my mom though. I don’t know if that matters to you.***
*Your ethnicity and or religious/spiritual beliefs can range from jewish to catholic (without the head case drama associated with either one) ***Does Agnostic Science Worshipper with Taoist Leanings and Some Fascination With The Occult fall somewhere between Jewish and Catholic?***
*You are looking for “the one” and not “the one right now” ***’The One’ is always ‘The One’ until it isn’t anymore. ‘The one right now’ would be how to describe the client/stripper relationship.***
What I mean by low maintenance, down to earth, non-head case:
*you are naturally beautiful and dont need to look like a racoon with makeup ***But… But… My traditional female roles that you’ve so neatly pigeonholed me into demand that I put on make-up everyday and charge up a few grand a month in botox so I can look good for my man***
*you are just as fine eating at Pita Inn as you are having sushi ***I’ll be fine all the time once I have access to those credit cards, big boy.***
*you are open to new adventures without turning it into drama ***To follow the black knight into the cave, turn to page 68***
*you pay or at least offer to pay for some of dates ***Ha! Trick question! Right? I mean… I can’t possibly step out of my Womanrole. I’m just hear to look pretty and move my food around my plate so it looks like I ate something.***
* you don’t torture yourself about trying to be in rat race and competing with anyone and everyone ***That stupid movie with Seth Green and John Lovitz? Nope, never wanted to be in that. Plus it got made like a decade ago. Get with the times. The cool kids now are trying to get in on the Twilight series I think.***
*you make a decent living or you are an entrepreneur but you don’t rub it into other;s faces ***Once again, my traditional woman-roles prevent me from entrepreneuring. I mean, how would I have time to put on heels and pearls to vacuum if I was out taking over companies?***
*you are not a high strung, medicine popping drama queen, chronic worrier, or see a shrink ***Not high strung for sure, Ummm.. I don’t know what a medicine popper is though. I mean, I take NyQuil when I have the flu, and there’s DayQuil when I have the flu and have to work, along with a bevy of other medicines in my bathroom. I can give those up though! My crippling heroin addiction won’t be a problem though, will it? One can’t really call that medicine.***
*you workout in moderation without being a gym whore and can alternate between weights, yoga, aerobics, hiking, etc ***If by moderation you mean that I play Wii when I’m drunk, then yes. And I have all those games on there except for hiking.***
* you are spiritual but not fanatically religious ***Check check check***
*you have a calm, mellow, demeanor about you and your energy soothes ***Well, when I’m in supply of that heroin to support the afore-mentioned addiction you would be hard pressed to find anyone more mellow and calm than I am.***
*you are conscious of being someone’s mirror, life partner, and biggest fan ***I get the second two, but are you going to want me to start wearing reflective clothing?***
*you don’t smoke, rarely drink, no drugs ***Damn! I’m out!***
* you are preferably an earth or water sign (except for capricorns(materialistic frigid bitches:) ***I’m a fire sign. And can I just say, I’m getting this odd feeling that you’ve been hurt by a Capricorn who left you for her vibrator after admitting to once having had vacation sex?***
* you are thankful for being alive and healthy over anything else ***No, I’m most thankful for my vibrator really. Followed closely by smack.***
Super Lurve
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OMG. best. comment. ever. OMG.
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Were I not married, I would ask you out. Sense of humor–check!
(s’ok, I’m a girl.)
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“To follow the black knight into the cave, turn to page 68″
OMG OMG OMG. This is the best response I’ve ever read on here, and that is a high bar indeed. SNORK!!
“if you want me to stick something up YOUR ass I’m totally game”
BWAHAHAHA
I want to ask you out too, to some crowded place, just to hear the commentary on people in the room. SPECTABULOUS.
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*raises hand* WTF is a “normal, natural orgasm with a man?” Suppose she needs him inside her + vibrator, is she a slut? What if she can only get off on oral but still enjoys a good fuck, is she a slut?
O.o
I agree that if you’re in a serious relationship, you shouldn’t be avoiding sex in favor of (only) your toys, but I don’t think this schmuck should be assuming that women only use toys because they’re sluts or because they can’t get a man. He’s been watching too much porn if he thinks that all nice girls can have orgasms entirely due to intercourse.
This guy is also not a good match for the woman he’s looking for. Far too needy and nit-picky for a good, sensible, down-to-earth woman!
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I love my husband, but if I didn’t have my BOB he probably wouldn’t love me (we work different shifts so I don’t get to see him often- it’s the secret to a successful marriage, pass it on)
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Bet no one can guess what kind of shit he thinks his ex put him through??? Anyone??? Anyone???
From this, we could actually go successfully date his ex girlfriend. We’ve even eliminated that obnoxious “What’s your sign?” ice breaker.
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I was actually doing pretty well, but alas, I am an Air sign (Libra). So I guess it just wasn’t meant to be…
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Oooh! Oooh! Let me try!
*You are 22-35 ***I’m 36. Oh darn.***
And if it wasn’t that, it’d be my number of partners.
If I can just rant for a moment, though, it’s beyond stupid to judge someone’s character or integrity by that standard. I racked up some numbers in my reckless youth, but I am so NOT the insecure little waif that I was at age 20. Yeah, I used to sleep with a boy on the first date thinking it’d make him want to be my boyfriend, but this taught me some important life lessons and helped turn me into the awesome person I am today. Why should I keep getting punished for stuff I did like 15 years ago? I could probably have killed a dude back then and gotten out of jail by now, for Pete’s sake.
And it amuses me that a lot of guys seem to want a woman who’ll be a total kinky nymphomaniac–but only with them. Guys: if a woman has a high sex drive, chances are it occurred to her to try indulging it before you came along. Even if she was trying to hold out for someone special. Chicks get sexual opportunities all the damn time and if said chick happens to be a giant horndog, well, it might be too difficult to abstain sometimes. It doesn’t mean she’s so insatiable that she’ll end up cheating on you; it does mean that she’ll keep you happier in bed than a chick who thinks that sex is bad and evil and wrong (and is therefore a virgin, yay!).
Guess what? Some of my early conquests weren’t driven by insecurity. Sometimes, a hot guy would hit on me and I just…wanted to sleep with him. And I’m not apologizing for it.
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Ah good point, it appears for many men the ideal female is a nyphomaniac virgin, very knowledgable but wholly inexperienced. Unable to get past the hangup they fixate on inquiring about past sexual experiences to the detriment of the relationship. Yet in comparison they are inordinatly proud of their own conquests when in the company of other men in the need of bravao.
Ok would anyone like to make bets on:
1. How longs it has been since this guy has had more than “Miss Handy”
2. How long it will be until he next sees some ‘action.’
I an guessing two years ‘since’ and another two years (or the next republican convention whichever comes first) ‘until’
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Natural orgasms? Sorry. I only get mine looking at a big ole breast at funerals. Pretty mind-blowing, though.
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Oh, well played. God damn. I nearly forgot about that one.
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I LOVE this! I am pretty sure the age requirement was the only one I met (including being a frigid Capricorn!). THANK GOD FOR THAT!
Favorites parts:
Don’t climb the corporate ladder but please have a job and pay for my dinner.
You can be religious but not religious enough that you actually believe your religion.
You need to be making plans for your personal life as long as those plans don’t include sexual activity (with real or fake men, women are ok), getting promoted in your career, hanging out with male friends at the Tavern on Rush, therapy, or getting fit.
You can’t compete with everyone in the “rat race” but respond quickly! I’m expecting a barrage of responses from women who are non-sluttier and less wacko than you.
Don’t forget to include a pic when you email… you, however, get to guess what I look like with the help of my extensive personal description.
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I’m a frigid bitch Capricorn too…and this guy can just fuck off very much…
Heh, except for I’m a polyarmorous Pagan with a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Soooo, I guess I’m in the ‘slut” category after all. Whew! I was worried for a moment!
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Jewish TO Catholic? Is there a spectrum out there that I’m unaware of?
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I think it means your religion has to be at least 2000 years old. So Buddhists are OK, but Muslims are out.
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Summing it up: Terminally virgin control freak seeks virgo intacta submissive porn queen. Dutch treat.
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Okay, I need to clean up the milk I WAS drinking…
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Yeah, if this is the type of guy Evanston is churning out, I’m going to go do a couple alterations on my birth certificate now. I’d much rather people think I was born in the sticks than within twenty miles of this charmer.
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I forgot to sign that ‘Love, the Capricorn’
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Only someone with a blissfully non-existent sense of self-awareness could follow a list of 50 requirements with a self-description of “easy going”.
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Plus, please have a high paying job but don’t take it seriously. Please believe in traditional gender roles, except when it comes to paying for dates. Please be sexy but spend your life suppressing your sexuality.
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Jami, dude, HOOOK ME UP.
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head held low – I won’t be able to post my own similar ad.
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Oh, man! Being single rocks the proverbial house! If I weren’t single, I wouldn’t be able to sit around at night reading these things!
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How can someone actually have that many expectations/rules?!
btw, unless the person quit the nunnery/priesthood….a girl is going to have some bones….err….skeletons in her closet.
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Late to the party, but my gods, does this man hate women or what? I wonder if his mommy meets these requirements.
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