You know it’s bad when someone has to edit their photo to encourage you to “view full pic” — I swear to God, after this one, I’m going to revert back to younger folks, but lawd… The oldies have invaded OkCupid and I just have to write about it.

Everyone, meet Stereo Jim. And FYI, his picture captions are of his very own making… As much as I’d like to take credit for them…

There are two smiles caused by wearing this spandex wrestling suit.

T-shirt was a gift from someone who knows me entirely too well (static fluffed hair, camera on floor pointing straight up)

prefer loose and comfy over dressy and restrictive

padded for your comfort & safety

StereoJim

56 / M / bisexual / Single

Grand Rapids, Michigan

I am mostly submissive, eager to please, and waiting for orders.

My Self-Summary

I’m far less dangerous than my profile might imply. I just didn’t want to rule anything out in advance – so I specified “BI” and checked all the “Looking for” boxes. My attempts to demonstrate willingness might be taken as “too much information”. (Sorry) I can be a perfect gentleman, or I can be crude & lewd. I can keep my hands to myself, or I can stick my tongue where invited. I can be clean & sweet, or we can get dirty. I will take no action without your permission, and I await your imagination.

I used to have impossibly high standards, now I realize they just held me back. I don’t look my age, I don’t want to be my age, and I choose to not act my age.

Any feedback on the pictures? I made them just for you. Wanna make some new ones?

What I’m doing with my life

Mythbusters’ Credo: If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing. That’s it for the bragging section.

I’m a chronic under-achiever with “such potential”. A good fixer-upper. This unit is: original owner – low mileage – can be customized to your needs. Take advantage of what’s possible.

I’m really good at

Building stuff in my woodshop. Updating house wiring. Organizing stuff. My computer is mostly used for making lists of media (DVD, VHS, CD, LP, books) and stuff in boxes & jars & little plastic drawers. Several visitors have said they wished they were so organized. They didn’t see the pile of play clothes kicked into the corner.

The first things people usually notice about me

Usually somebody bumps into me and says: “Sorry, I didn’t see you”. I suspect my superpower is invisibility. I can’t dance, I can’t act, I can’t sing (not even in the shower). I can’t tell a joke – but I’m used to being the butt of one.

I get asked why I am barefoot – I like the additional sensory input that you lose by wearing shoes. Stomping around in mud or slush can be so much fun, and I wasn’t allowed to do it when I was younger (I can still act like a child).

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

books>authors: Tom Clancy, Douglas Adams

movies: well done Sci Fi, most are not. Like directors James Cameron, Steven Spielberg

TV: Stargate SG-1 & Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, 4400, Eureka, Mythbusters, This Old House

music: large collection of progressive rock & art rock, especially Tangerine Dream (112 albums so far), Genesis, Yes, Mike Oldfield, Pink Floyd, Police, Beatles, Vangelis, Patrick O’Hearn, William Orbit, Mannheim Steamroller, Firesign Theatre, Synergy and assorted members’ thereof

food: Chocolate pudding licked out of the crevases of your body. The wonderful taste of pre-cum! Spaghetti with “Mom” sauce. The perfect burger will run down your arms and drip off your elbows. A napkin won’t be enough, you’ll need a hose.

The six things I could never do without

Music & big system to play it. (currently 7.2) Sci Fi & TCM TV channels. A hot night to play naked outside in the rain/mud. My woodshop. toilet paper (last but certainly not least).

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Why don’t I get replies to my messages? Even a “no”.

Why is it so hard to actually meet somebody? You might like me.

Stuff. I know lots of things – too bad most of it is useless.

Why ideas just *pop* in – and I do not know from where.

Where could I put a mud pit? (I mean dirt + water = messy fun)

Why hundreds of the questions here need a blog beyond a simple yes or no.

On a typical Friday night I am

Here – searching for somebody to tell me to get naked for her/him/them/it. Otherwise, home alone, bored with the TV selections, (unless it’s a new Sci Fi Friday). I am willing to share and/or be shared.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

A guy I’ve known forever challenged me to a game of “Truth or Dare”. He gave up trying to see how far I would go when he ran out of ways to try to embarrass me. What unsettles me is that I wasn’t bothered by any of the things he dared me to do, while he refused most of my dares. Now he works out of state and I miss the degradation. How weird is that?

I was stupid enough to drive to a total stranger’s apartment in response to an IM from horny 21M straight svp20 begging for a one nite stand blow job: “Roomie is sleeping, don’t knock, door will be open, come right into bedroom”. I never asked his name. He chickened out when confronted with the reality of what he had asked for, so nothing happened.

You should message me if

You’re as crazy as I wish I was. I am unable to say “I’ll do anything”, there’s a line I just won’t cross. I don’t know where it is – wanna help me look for it? Maybe you just want a new toy to play with.

NOTES:
> The IM system often locks up on me, if I vanish without saying goodbye, please stick around, I’ll be back on shortly.
> I don’t log on every day, so there may be a delayed response.
> Fill out your profile essays, answer questions, take tests. I want to see your scores, hi or lo.
> If you are seeking a “Sugar Daddy”, I regret that I am not in a situation where I can be one.

[showing my roots here, but I'm typing this next sentence in my best Jeff Foxworthy voice -- don't hate!] If you have to qualify in the FIRST sentence of your profile how you aren’t as dangerous as you have willingly represented yourself to be, you might be a Date Wreck.