Jami: I’ve been looking forward to this all week. PC says not to get my hopes up because he’s not drunk tonight while we write. You know what I say to that?
WHERE’S YOUR DEDICATION TO YOUR CRAFT, PC!? Now somebody get this man a beer!
PC: Â I thought it might be a nice change of pace to write sober. Â We’ll see how it goes.
Jami: Let’s starrrrrrt the show!
PC: Â Lady in red, is daaaancing with me, cheek to cheek. Â To cheek. Â To cheek.
Jami: Every lady’s first order of business when dressing up for a special occassion: get the RIGHT underthings. Girl, c’mon. That halter top is ready to bust open!
PC: Â Black strappy dress? Check. Â Boobs hanging out? Â Check. Â Make a face like a fish? Â Check.
Jami: Don’t check. Only ONE boob is hanging out. The other looks like it’s probably tucked back there with her left arm.
PC: Â She looks like she’s hiding something in her mouth, and isn’t quite sure whether it’s gonna stay in there or not.
Jami: MPHLERGHPHHHHH!
PC: Â I love it when women try to look sexy, and it just looks like they have a bad case of post-nasal drip.
Jami: She said she was twenty five. It’s an abomination to lie in front of 2PAC!
PC: Â Male? Â Female? Â Human? Â Anybody? Â Bueller?
Jami: Hehe. This just make me laugh and laugh and laugh. “I’m telling you guys, her chin looked TOTALLY different when I picked her up!”
PC: Â Class-say. Â Especially since the picture was taken this year. Â Why is she swearing?
Jami: THIS COULD BE YOU, MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE JOCK FACE MEAT HEAD!
PC: Â Always mix Benadryl with Sudafed 45 minutes before having your picture taken.
Jami: If this is a picture of you like a zombie, you need a caption.
PC: Â Tube top by Sharpie. Â Hair by Brillo.
Jami: Guess where she’s from? You guessed it. JERSEY.
PC: Â See, I kind of like this one. Â I’ve never seen this before, I think it’s kinda clever.
Jami: This would be clever if they were real people. The fact that you were sitting around, alone, with mannequins this long makes me a little suspicious of your social skills.
PC: Â That’s why this chick would be perfect for me. Â I would just sit in the corner like a mannequin, with my social retardation, and she could make signs with arrows pointing to me and take pictures. Â First, I suggest “I’m with Stupid”.
Jami: That sounds like a helluva romance, PC.
PC: Â Okay Jami, I’m at a loss here. Â I mean, lots of jokes are coming into my head, but they all seem like “low bearing fruit”. Â Oh, I should have phrased that differently.
Jami: Hehehehe…. I feel terrible. I really do. I try really hard not to make fun of people for being overweight, but HOLY SHIT. That is the most obscene case of front butt I’ve ever seen in my life.
PC: There just isn’t a way to make fun of that one without absolutely ripping into her, you know that right?
Jami: Yes. Okay. Let’s face the facts here, folks.
PC: “Coming up on Inside Edition after the break, Doris suffered a horrible accident where her entire body was severed. To add insult to injury, the doctors sewed her back together backwards.”
PC: Â Cat Woman? Â Bat Woman? Â Raccoon Woman? Â Female Zorro?
Jami: Meow…? Looks like she’s been declawed. How inhumane.
PC: Â This picture is funny all on it’s own, but consider the strategically placed pearl necklace, along with the title of the ad, which was “Someday My Prince Will Come.”
Jami: “Someday My Prince With Come”… on my neck… I love how her pearls are all phallic in nature. Her eyes are so… sexy? I think that’s what she’s going for.
PC: Maybe her eyelids are stuck open.
PC: Â Uh, Jami, I thought we were riffing on women this week?
Jami: You found this picture, PC. Not me. Love the jorts.
PC: Â Cyndi Lauper and Bob Marley had a girl, and she’s on Plenty Of Fish.
Jami: Rainbow Bright, the troubled teen years.
PC: Â Jami, you know me, I’m all for boobs, be proud and let them show. Â But those boobs + that sweater = optical illusion. Â If you stare long enough, you can see a sailboat. Â No, it’s a dragon. Â No, wait, it’s just boobs.
Jami: Is that a shower curtain in the background? I think… Yes… We’ve got a bathroom mirror picture, folks! She just turned the camera on herself. Awesome.
PC: Â Quoth her hat, “Nevermore”.
Jami: I’ve got nothing.
PC: Â Looks like two competing flower gardens in a turf war.
Jami: She captioned this one “Me in 2002″… I think what’s missing is, “… at a I love The Late Eighties In The Suburbs” Party.
PC: Â Lead with your strengths, sweetheart. Â Brains? Â Nope. Â Personality? Â Not hardly. Â When in doubt, just present yourself, like it’s Animal Planet.
Jami: Hey, PC… Do you prefer nylons or bare legs?
PC: I prefer something in between.
Jami: I see the light! It’s the end of my days!! The light is coming from betwixt her legs! The end is nigh! The end is nigh!
PC: No Jami, the end is thigh.
