For me, I mean. I think killing myself would be better than possibly ending up with this guy, or a guy like him, in my dating pool.

Emily sent this one to me (for those of you not in the know, she wrote the last post) . I suppose I didn’t do a very good job (read: any job at all) of introducing her. Heh. My b.

So, Emily sent this to me over instant message. I think I was at work when she sent it because when I asked her about it again, I was at home and didn’t have the link.

She wrote: Jami, I’m serious. Apologize to The Internet for what they’re about to see. And make sure EVERYONE knows that YOU MADE ME LOOK AGAIN!!!!!

Again, my B, folks.

*Ahem* Introducing Hung Old Dude.

Click here — Or don’t.

Picture of his jizzle on his abzzz. Seriously. This made me retch more than a cock shot would have!

(I’ve also added a shopped version in the comments for those with a less discerning eye)

jj69gall

39 / M / straight / Available

Raleigh, North Carolina

My Self-Summary

HONEST AND UPFRONT GUY HERE.

I AM 4 REAL THERE IS NO DRAMA OR BS HERE.

YOU EITHER LIKE ME OR YOU DON’T
I NOT A MODEL AND I’M NOT PERFECT I DO NOT MAKE LOT’S OF MONEY EITHER I’M HUMAN AND FOR REAL WITH A AVERAGE PAYING JOB.

I LIKE TO SHOOT POOL,DARTS,PLAY CARD’S(CRIBBAGE,SPADES,RUMMY)DOMINOES,BOWLING,MOVIES IN OR OUT.I DO NOT DRINK OR DRUG SO I DO NOT GET INTO THE BAR SCENE.

I’VE BEEN SOBER AND CLEAN 7 YRS.

I ALSO HAVE A PROFILE ON ADULT FRIEND FINDER UNDER licku2orgasmssss.

IF YOU’D LIKE TO CHAT WITH A REAL,OPEN MINDED,DOWN TO EARTH GUY THEN EMAIL ME.

What I’m doing with my life

WELL,WHAT I’M DOING IS WORKING AT A GOLF COURSE DOING GOLF COURSE MAINTENANCE.I’M ACTUALLY WORKING ON ONE THAT IS BEING BUILT IT’S PRETTY COOL.
PLUS,I MOW A YARD ON THE SIDE.

I’m really good at

I’M GOOD AT KEEPING IT REAL.I FEEL HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY EVEN THOUGH SOME TIMES IT CAN KICK ME IN THE ASS.

I’M GOOD AT GIVING PLEASURE MORE THAN RECEIVING.I BEEN TOLD I’M GOOD AT GIVING MASSAGES HEAD TO TOES AND YES,FOOT MASSAGES.

I’VE BEEN TOLD I’M GREAT AT GIVING ORAL PLEASURE.

The first things people usually notice about me

I HAVE BEEN TOLD I HAVE A CUTE ASS.PLUS,A NICE TAN.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

I LIKE ACTION MOVIES

MUSIC I LIKE RUSH,CREED,GODSMACK,BOSTON,CAR’S,KISS,COLLECTIVE SOUL,DREAM THEATER,AC/DC.

FOOD I LIKE LOBSTER,SHRIMP,SCALLOPS,LASANGA,SPAGHETTI,CHEF SALADS,CHINESE ETC…

The six things I could never do without

I HAVE BEEN HOMELESS A FEW TIMES IN MY LIFE.I DO NOT NEED MATERIAL STUFF TO MAKE ME HAPPY.IT’S NICE TO HAVE BUT I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

THE LESS THINKING I DO THE BETTER LOL.I ACTUALLY JUST THINK ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL.HOW,LIFE HAS IT’S UPS AND DOWNS AND HOW SCREWED UP LIFE CAN BE.

On a typical Friday night I am

TYPICAL,FRIDAY NIGHT WATCHING WWE WRESTLING BUT THAT’S BECAUSE I’M SINGLE.IF,I WAS NOT SINGLE THEN I’M SURE WE WOULD BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

WELL,I’M OPEN MINDED AND LOVE 2 KEEP IT HOT AND SPICY IN THE BED.

I LOVE 2 GIVE PLEASURE MORE THAN RECEIVE.

I TRULY LOVE GIVING LOT’S,LOT’S OF ORAL AND FOURPLAY.

PLUS,I HAVE BEEN TOLD I’M NOT THE AVERAGE SIZE WHITE GUY.

You should message me if

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A GUY THAT IS GOING TO KEEP IT REAL AND NOT FILL YOU UP WITH A BUNCH OF BS.

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want to chat go from there instant message me on the Y jj69gall

OH EM GEE. THAT IS TOTALLY A SHOT OF HIS NUT JUICE ON HIS STOMACH!

AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!

Ok… Deep breaths, folks. We’ll get through this.

You know how fucking vile that is? I mean, I’ll take a cock shot over a nut smear any day of the week. Shit, I’d take a baker’s dozen cock shots, lined up in a row and slapping me in the face over that shit. BARF man. BARF city.

Emily also found him on Plenty of Fish but I ain’t lookin’ for his Adult Friend Finder ad… There’s no telling how nasty he gets on that one. Do we get a shot of his colon, a’la Goatse?

Fucking EW man.

I can’t believe that, somewhere, in NC, there’s some dude thinking it’s okay to flash your funk on your personal ad, I don’t give a shit if you’re just looking for casual sex.

Your little men should end their days with dignity in a cum towel or a tube sock, not in a shiny spooge loogie on your loosely-skinned midsection.

FUCKING EW, man. EW.