Readers, Meet F-ck The What Fridays
FTWF — By Jami on November 19, 2009 at 8:40 pm
New weekly series!
Fuck The What Fridays
Every Friday I will post the Date Wreckiest photo submission that I have received from the week’s submissions.
I want to include an actual line from their personal ad (with a link) and a clever one-liner to properly dress the wreck.
If you’ve got a funny tagline for it, include it, otherwise I’ll run it through my wit-mo-tron and come up with something clever muhsef.
Email them to me by clicking this har link.
Something like these:
You should message me if you like nudity, exhibition, originality, nude pics, ….and some fantasms
Uhm, where’s the beef?
Or how about this little doozie:
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here: I have a strong physical attraction to women who look like Eleanor Roosevelt?
Uhm, thanks for the flowers dad. Now put your pants on and leave my apartment, I’m trying to have a date.
They don’t have to be old naked dudes, but clearly, I’ve been on an old person kick this week, why not ride the waves of ageism all the way through to Saturday, right?
Send your submissions my way by clicking this har link or you can just use the contact form, twitter, facebook or whatever other method you fancy.
Sound good? Ok.
Also, if you want to design a cool header for this series, gimme a shout.
See you next Friday.
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17 Comments
Great idea!
What’s with all the old men-who-think-they’re-hot postings lately, I think they have a conspiracy or something!
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I’ve got a thing for older men…?
HURLK.
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If they’re not lying, many men think they get hotter as they age.
No, seriously.
It works like that because women only have hot bodies to attract men, but men have personality and stuff, and those personalities grow better as they age, so older men are much, much, much, much, much more interesting to young women than young guys are, who are all immature. Also, old guys have status within society, and women go all drippy and oozy for power and not for low-status young men, who’re just cannon fodder, not assistant managers at the regional branch office of a major clothing retailer, for instance. Anyway, men’s bodies don’t age like women’s do. Women’s bodies get all nasty and saggy and weird-textured when they get old, but men don’t age so drastically. Old women are gross, but old men are fascinating. All young women actually want to fuck old guys. Really.
Really. That’s what they say on Fark, on Craigslist, on just about any Internet forum where old guys gather to call Hooters waitresses stuck-up whores for not laughing at boob jokes and lubricating on the spot. I don’t think it’s the same eight guys — I think a lot of old guys think this.
I wonder why all the old white guys’ torsos in the photos here look scalded. Have you noticed? Pink, shiny, puffy to the point of being bloated …
Super Lurve
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I think I love you, Tullia.
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That was awesome. Tullia, you’re so right.
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This appears to correspond with the eyesight going right around the same time, and apparently the grip on that part of reality which tells you only in your dreams do 18yr old nympho’s find 40yr old gits attractive.
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Oh Em Gee. The second dude. I am predicting that he totally laid his wang on his Corian countertop in that picture. I would bet cash money.
Super Lurve
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I just got chills.
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He dipped it in his wine: it’s a Peen-o Noir.
Super Lurve
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Oh god. I work in bottleshop and now every time someone buys pinot noir I’m going to be thinking of penises. Thankyou sir.
Super Lurve
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He’s serving you breakfast in bed. But that vase is so damn big, there’s no room for the food.
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He’s the breakfast.
**shudder**
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Oh! And the white banana hammock in the first pic is going to come in handy on my diet. I haven’t had breakfast this morning and now I don’t think I’ll be able to eat till Christmas.
Super Lurve
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It’s a budgie smuggler!
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for the win!
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Old men are so sad. This is why I need to find a woman before I get old. Not that I wouldn’t shoot myself before posting a picture like these…
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I always wondered what happened to The Unknown Comic. I see he has graduated from plain brown paper bags to creepy “I’m a hostage” black silk head bags.
But is he funny?
As for Creepy Grandpa #2, nice grocery store $6 bouquet. Those flowers take forever to die, which is a plus, but they smell like black mold, which is a big minus.
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