I was stuck at work on Friday and would complain about it except that I was able to sleep until 8am and then drowsily roll out of bed and lumber to my job where I was able to sit in my chair and click my mouse and create beautiful things for people in exchange for dolla dolla bills.
There’s a lot of you that probably had a very different experience on Friday… Waking up at 3am… Jacking your shit up on RedBull or lattes… Tucking your door prizes into your shopping bags before the sun even rose… Bitch slapping motherfuckers when they tried to put their grimy paws on your god damn toaster oven! Arguing with police officers about who started what… Calling your friends or family members to bail you out of jail for disorderly conduct. Gathering up all of your presents and beaming from a heart full of Christmas cheer!
Dammit, I love Christmas. So, yea… You guys are probably sore from all the walking and wrestling and whatnot and I think I have the PERFECT thing for you.
Free Massage for any Woman – 47 (Norcross)
I am giving free sensual massage for any woman regardless of age, weight, race, or marital status. If you need attention, I am here for you. Tonight and tommorro night and some days available as well as all day on the weekends. Send a pic or description and contact me. I am also looking for a long term thing as well as being very oral. I am a bit on the submissive side so you let me know how you want me to please you.
In this season of giving, don’t forget to give to the most important person — yourself. Eyebrows McNothanks is here to dazzle your tired muscles with his delicate fingers. He wants to work those tired muscles and release all that tension from your body. And he’s doing this as his Christmas gift to you. How noble!
Just, you know… Don’t forget to leave your shoes over by the laundry hamper (?) in his apartment. He doesn’t like it when you wear your shoes around the house.
I love that HE is being particular about your age, race, weight, race and marital status. I think, when you’ve got a comb over paired with those eyebrows AND you’re naked AND you’re asking women to let you touch them without clothes on, you probably don’t get to be picky. I’m also apparently fucking shit up when I’m cutting and pasting, haha. Thanks, Helen.
I’m just saying.
