What’s that? You DON’T want to hear about the color of his sphincter?
OkStupid, Worst Wrecks — By Jami on November 2, 2009 at 1:51 am
Well, damn… YOU must be a prude.
Or something. Over-sharing is the new Myspace-kissy face. Seriously.
rocyahsoul
34 / M / straight / Single
Troy, Vermont (1000 miles)
I am vegetarian, kind, and intellectual.
My Self-Summary
I’m Daniel Vincent Kelley. You can find me on facebook with that, I invite all friend requests.
I’m into researching vital facts regarding this environment, a drift in space on this ginormous ball of finely atmosphered, thinly crusted, molten magma.
I know how long it’s been since the big bang (14 billion years). I know where in the universe gold is formed (super novas). I know what is the pinnacle of sustainable agricultural production facility (Raised Field Agriculture). I know a few cures for any virus or bacteria including aids, those being mild long sustained electrical shock, oxidative medicine, colloidal silver, robust neem oil regimen… I am an information tracking guru with a tendency toward the vastly important.
Incidently I have not had sex for more than 2 years and was tested negative for HIV shortly after my last experience
A couple years ago I completely eliminated the body odor that onset after puberty by drinking a tad of oxyclean mixed to two gallons of water over a few days. Then I went months without a shower smelling sunshine fresh and verifying such when several of my friends stuck their nose in my pits in disbelief. I stopped wearing deodorant about a decade ago when I read antiperspirant is toxic, causes cancer (breast cancer especially) and self realized holding perspiration in your body is inhibitory to cleaning your insides, your lymph nodes particularly.
These days I shower as often as the government is able to poison my food, which is usually about once a week. I’ve been off oxyclean for inner cleaning since that one time I got my pits sunshine fresh. These days I mix baking soda with iodine in water if I’ve eaten something foul. I know a few other absolute cures that easily eradicate any bacteria or virus. Feel free to email me if you’re interested.
I started writing my autobiography – message me if you care to read some of my life experience, k?
My hopes for a relationship
Ultimately I want to find a life mate. Someone to go the distance with. I’ve long since abandoned jealousy and wish to be one of many who entertains this elusive lady who may ever become my mate for life.
I’ve been intimately involved with more than 30 women. I’ve dated women who were shocked and taken back by this knowledge. I feel like few of those relationships were at all taken seriously by my then partners. I’ve been greatly disappointed by not having been given a chance by so many. In every relationship I’ve engaged it was my full intent to be life long friends and hopefully lovers with the other party. I’ve never initiated relationships with the intent to pump and dump. Having experienced it so much I feel like a piece of meat for callous women’s play.
I’ve not been in as intense a relationship since the 3 years I spent with my high school sweetheart. I want to better the physical intensity of that relationship and more importantly share the best friendship with you (appropriate when you’ve found this profile), share interests as fitness, share views as the supreme importance of securing direct democratic command of policy, share tastes as veges, share joy and laughter and life.
What I’m doing with my life
I hike, skateboard, build wind turbines, shampoo carpets, repair computers, write poetry, research, write policy analysis, tax resist.
I’m building a magnet motor. So far this has involved casting liquid plastic around the shape of my magnets. Now I’m casting rubber in the shape of the magnets by the plastic mold. Soon I’ll arrange the rubber faux magnets in the appropriate configuration then pour liquid plastic around them and finally place the real magnets and a bearing.
I’m also working on a wind turbine. I’m converting a Stirling Engine into a Stirling Engine Electrical Generator. I produce a few songs most weeks. I’m writing my autobiography. And I’ve been making music videos for my songs to post to youtube.com/danielvincentkelley , which has involved a bit of graphics work I’ve done recently.
I’m really good at
Learning safely. I’ve learned to jump into half pipes in rollerblades, kick flip on a skateboard, j hop on a bike, I’ve defended myself on numerous occasions against men with knives. I patch together bits of Thai boxing, kung fu, jeet kun do and jiu jitsu to issue self defense by which I flee from no bully and have knocked out many. Don’t take this wrong, in the company of a lady I would do my all to not be involved in violence. I’ve taken up the cause of friends who were robbed from at knife point. I’ve taken the place of a highschool kid in a fight against a hardened criminal gang member who insisted the only way he wasn’t going to fight the highschool kid was if he fought me. I don’t react physically until a person who is a real threat has physically violated me or someone I owe protection from physical harm. So I guess you might say I’m really good at quantifying threat and issuing peace by knockout. I’m also good at verbal resolve where physical violation has yet occurred. Other stuff I’m good at: Vegetarian Nutrition, (Guarantee her finish) Cunnilingus, Cleaning (floors, bathrooms, windows, dishes, I have a power brush, a brush on a long handle and a carpet steam cleaner), fumigation, Vegetarian Cheffing, Internet Research, Writing, Webdesign, Graphic design, PC repair, Sequencing Breakbeat music, oxidative medicine, iodinative medicine, curing cancer, curing Hep C, curing supposed incurable diseases, healing complicated fractures, building ozonators, water alkalizers, hydrogen fuel cells and wind turbines, bicycle repair, conversation, massage.
The first things people usually notice about me
I speak authoritatively on whatever subject I broached in initiating the conversation. If, more so rarely, someone initiates a conversation with me, I strive to assist with what I’m prepared.
As for why it’s more rare people initiate conversation with me: I more often initiate conversation because I’m very outgoing and confident. I talk to strangers often on public transportation, in parks, at the library and where ever my day has found me.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
I like breakbeat music as I like to breakdance which was a fitness activity for me for many years. Watching TV I choose documentaries, discovery channel, history channel, architecture documentaries, wildlife documentary, survival documentary and mixed martial arts competitions. I’ve never had a strong interest in fiction. I read what I’ve chosen to study, which I usually find online. I read medical university studies, physics lessons, astronomy, nutrition, farming methods, medical studies, alternative news sources… I read the regular news too, which though I recognize as junk news and propaganda. I’ve read most of the bible, some of the more interesting parts a few times and in varying translations. I’ve come to recognize the bible as a mix of ancient legal text, historical record, medical instruction and myth.
The six things I could never do without
Food, water, air, people, more food and water.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I don’t spend too much time thinking about any one thing. There’s quite a bit here to consider, so I feel to focus on a single aspect of this environment would rob me of my commanding understanding.
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday’s are usually not much different than every other day of the week for me. I might call a friend, chat, check my email, read some news, I’m usually in bed early. This has been since y2k. Before that I would goto clubs on Friday nights or otherwise party with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
My butt hole is pink. This is due my performing enema twice a week on a sustained basis. There was a time when my butt was more so dingy. My poo is firm yellow and smells like fruit. I attribute this to my excellent intestinal health which is due both my eating vegetarian and cleansing my insides with ozonated olive oil. When it first turned yellow I was worried, so I looked it up and found out that’s the color poo is SUPPOSED to be. I also found out yellow is the color of baby poo because their intestines have yet to be fouled with years of toxins and disease.
There’s not much you would have to win my confidence to get out of me. I have a picture of my smooth pink ball sack as the logo for one of my websites (uv4genitals dot org). I recognize the present surveillance state has robbed all of us of any semblance of privacy. You are all free to let big brother peer into your bathroom by thermal imaging satellite.
You should message me if
I warmly welcome all comments and inquiry.
I….
I just don’t even know where to start. I think I’m going to have to bullet point the parts that… Um… I… I just… Woah. Strange man, here guys…. Super strange man.
- Props to all of you who friend him on Facebook.
- He knows how to cure aids
- Best sentence ever: “Incidently I have not had sex for more than 2 years.” REALLY. You DON’T say? The ladies aren’t beating your door down?? I’m SHOCKED.
- Dude drank OXYCLEAN. Billy Mays! God rest his soul.
- I WANT TO READ HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Well, I really just want you to send it to me on a day when I’m feeling really shitty about my life. Ground me, friends. Pull me back down to earth. “C’mon, Jami. It’s not that bad! At least you’re not self-medicating your BO with laundry soap.
- Define, “intimately involved.” Because gargling with a woman’s pee water doesn’t make you intimately involved. ESPECIALLY if she doesn’t know about it. (Even if it cures your cancer).
- Dude said “pump and dump.” I think I might cry. Then follows it up by fondly remembering his high school sweetheart? That’s not going to be an awkward high school reunion.
- He has a YouTube video channel where I just spent the better part of a fifteen minutes making a “huh?” face… My two favorites: underwear lint and swine flu prevention, including nearly TWO minutes of him sticking q-tips up (and DEEP into) his nose and more than three minutes of him taking a bath. What the holy fuck, dude?
- Of course, he had to toss in there that he’s good at cunnilingus. Thanks, Captain. I’m good.
- In bed early, since Y2K… Seriously. Really? Y2K?
- He… He…. I mean… It’s totally NOT hot that he gives himself enemas to make his ass pucker rosy. And firm yellow poop? Are you shitting out bananas, crazy man?
- I went to see this “smooth pink ball sack”… It is pink, for sure, but it is NOT smooth. And the website seems a little busted.
I am just BAFFLED by this one. It’s like… It’s so strange that he can’t be faking it. You know? There’s not one little lick of a taste of sarcasm or humor in his entire profile.
Dude is just WEIRD.
From The Vault
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
84 Comments
I’m beginning to think the dating site just puts “cunnilingus” into the “What I’m really good at” for ALL straight male profiles as some sort of default.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
I think there should be a test you have to perform to be able to do so, because every man saying it means a good portion of them are lying.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Enema dude: “Well, no one ever complained about my performance!”
Yeah, you just said that you’ve been with 30 women and most didn’t take you seriously. (And it’s no shocker as to why. Holy tl;dr. Shut. Up.)
So I have a feeling you probably weren’t getting very good feedback from your cunnilingees. That bored look in their eyes? Not an orgasm.
Love it or hate it?
5 
1
Good heavens. “I speak authoritatively on whatever subject I broached in initiating the conversation.” Correction: you speak authoritatively on whatever subject some crackpot has written about on the internet. There’s no one more gullible than some poor sap ready and willing to soak up as much unresearched, nonfactual drivel as possible. Thanks to this fellow, I am implementing a new regimen in order to stay healthy this winter. It’s called Don’t Do Anything This Guy Does.
Super Lurve
8 
0
So…he knows all this stuff about AIDS but apparently he doesn’t know it can take up to six months to show up in a blood test (so getting tested “soon after” your last encounter doesn’t cut it).
And he also doesn’t know that “bacteria” is the plural form of the word “bacterium”. LAME.
Also, his second picture scares me. I’m not being sarcastic. His eyes seem to be too big and to point in slightly different directions, and what is he LOOKING at, anyway? Not the camera…
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Rapist ski cap? Scary staring? Randomly starting conversations with strangers to share your bizarre delusions? I think I’ve met this guy at the bus stop.
Super Lurve
5 
0
Okay, as a lesbian with a whole lot of previous sexual partners I would just like to say something to all the men out there (and some of the more clueless ladies as well): No one is “Good at cunnilingus.” People can be really really bad at it, although that usually involves using teeth or just plain not knowing what’s what in a girl’s nether-regions. Here’s the thing. Girls are all different. Sure, maybe that thing you do with your tongue sent your last girlfriend into mind-melting, bedsheet-ripping, wake-the-neighbors orgasms, but on the next girl it might do absolutely nothing, and on another it might be downright painful. You know what makes someone good at going down? Not being all full of themselves and convinced they’re the masters of eating your box, and just asking what feels good and responding to both verbal and non-verbal cues. I’ve had my face in more vaginas than I’ve bothered to keep count of, and I consider myself damn lucky if I find what a new partner likes right away. I also don’t take it personally and consider it an attack on my sexual prowess if I’m with someone and she doesn’t get off. That’s important here, you cocky motherfuckers. If a girl knows you’re gonna get all butt-hurt if she doesn’t have an orgasm then she will start faking them just to save herself from the hours of moping, and you’ll never learn how to give her a real one.
Okay, I’m gonna get off my damn soapbox now. Continue ingesting Oxi-Clean and smelling your own poop.
Super Lurve
22 
0
Well said! I always just kind of laugh at this self-professed area of expertise.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
It’s about time someone said it!
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Seriously. Thank you.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Well said.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Oh well said madam, I wholly agree that to be good at pleasuring one’s partner, one should first disengage ones’ own ego. But can you imagine if there was some sort of competition, he could be a grade II black belt in ‘going down’. And does he use the power brush for cunnilingus or was that just for the cleaning?
Super Lurve
6 
0
When the time comes, Igor will just assume he’s bad and ask lots of questions.
Is this a bad idea?
Super Lurve
6 
0
Just how many knife attacks are occuring in Troy, Vermont?
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
Oh, yay! He lives near me!
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Oh, you poor thing…
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
haha, I know. I’m from Burlington, and I was like, holy shit, creepy dude in VT! I’m staying away from anyone who looks like him!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Does Oxyclean qualify as a vegan diet?
Does anyone have friends who will willingly stuck their noses into their armpits after months without a shower? Friends not of the canine persuasion?
I hope he will drink more colloïdal silver. There is such a dearth of argyria cases today.
What happened to his eyebrows between the first and the second photo?
Does anyone thinks this profile could have been written by a bipolar in a manic phase?
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
I was wondering about the eyebrows too. If he is bipolar, that might explain everything.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Eh, he’s vegetarian, not vegan. But I’m pretty sure NOBODY should be ingesting fucking Oxyclean.
And no, your poop is not supposed to be yellow–ever–regardless of what diet you eat. He’s got some kind of imbalance there, which isn’t exactly surprising since he’s eating Oxyclean, iodine, and baking soda.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
“I went to see this “smooth pink ball sack”… It is pink, for sure, but it is NOT smooth. And the website seems a little busted.”
Such a dedication, Jami
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Dude. I know.
The things I do for you guys!
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
At least he shops at Rite Aid. I’m just glad he doesn’t shop at the one I work at. Dear god.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
http://www.myspace.com/danielvincentkelley
His myspace is pretty bad too. Holy crap!
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Check out the super sleuth!
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
And holy shit. For a guy who doesn’t believe in bathing, he sure does have a lot of picture galleries of him with various skin fungus infections.
GAG.
The good news? I bet in his twenties, he hid a lot of this crazy and two month into dating him, girls were like, “What the fuck, Dan?!”
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Yeah, that is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. God thing I wasn’t eating when looking at his infections. I also like his gallery of ex-girlfriends.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I generally question any guy over, say, 22 who still skateboards (and isn’t Tony Hawk). Especially if he doesn’t live in Venice.
And yeah: “I speak authoritatively on whatever subject I broached in initiating the conversation.” In my experience this actually means “I’m an asshole who thinks he knows more about you on every topic and I’m going to do my best to make you feel stupid even when you’re right.” At least his asshole is clean…right?
Ew.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
I completely agree- anyone who speaks authoritatively on “every subject” is code for “HUGE, OUTRAGEOUS DOUCHE!”
Super Lurve
7 
0
There’s just so much wrong with this, where to begin?
If he knows cures for cancer, Hep C and AIDS, why isn’t he rolling in the dough and getting a Nobel prize? And, since he can cure all these diseases, why hasn’t he found a cure for acne?
Privacy? Dude, you gave it up by posting photos of your balls on the internet and sharing that little item about your anus and color of poop in your dating profile.
Holy hell, my head hurts now.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
Sounds like a psychopath to me…. Not healthy in any way.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
TOTALLY! Like the news would come to your house and be like, “Were you ever suspicious that this serial killer was living next door?”
“Well, I knew when I saw him glowing yellow with flea powder, that something suspicious was going on. It wasn’t until he removed all his body hair from his intense bathtime brush washing that I really got freaked out by him. Always with the breakbeat music booming from his dirty little house. I knew he was weird, but never thought he was a serial killer.”
More on this story after Everybody Loves Raymond at six.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
O.M.G.
A note on his poo–I’m sure it’s healthy if he eats healthy, but the reason babies poo yellow is because they only drink milk or formula. Once they start eating solids, it changes. It’s originally a black color, then kinda green.
Kudos to his highschool gf for dropping him.
And I’m really curious how he knows when the govt is poisoning his food!!
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
Wholly crap, Jami. There’s odd, there’s weird, there’s freaky, and then there’s DVKlicious.
Putting all that crazy out for public consumption, though? Dude’s got some balls.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
“DVKlicious” FTW! Add that to KYITN to the Datewrecks lexicon (wrecksicon? sexicon?)
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
I was feeling slightly optimistic on this beautiful Monday morning until I read this. Now I’m all closing my curtains and shades and double locking my doors again. Geez. I think the only way I will recover is to make a story up in my mind that Mr. Kelley’s friends are playing a bad joke on him and created this profile for him. Yes, I’m sure now that’s what it is.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
So, he accepts that we’re all being watched by the government and we have no privacy, he reveals WAY too much info through words and pictures, and he’ll accept anyone who friends him on Facebook….but his Facebook profile is PRIVATE? Dude? Has he found a way (perhaps researched it on the internet) to protect this small little island of himself? “They can watch me from satellites, they can poison my food, but by GOD I won’t let them find out Which Sex and the City Girl I am!”
I think my computer is permanently tainted by this guy’s profile. Somebody get me some OxyClean!
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
“They can watch me from satellites, they can poison my food, but by GOD I won’t let them find out Which Sex and the City Girl I am!”
I love you.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
I can’t fully believe that this is real– it’s like part of my brain still holds out hope for humanity or something.
Oh my god, Jamie. Just– wow.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Same here. I just refuse to believe this. I don’t wanna know that someone like that exists. Ignorance is a bliss, damn right.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
Have you ever read “You Suck at Craigslist”? My faith in humanity is utterly destroyed because of that website, but at least I get a good laugh.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Has anyone’s life been improved by knowing that this guy’s enema launch pad is pink and his poo firm yellow? No? Thought so.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Why is he so shiny (greasy) in his 1st pic? Is this part of his anti-AIDS, cancer-curing cleansing that makes his asshole so pink? He looks a cat burglar who fell into a pool of vaseline. And smooth pink ballsack? Do not want.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
I’m thinking he exfoliates too much. I’m wondering if he doesn’t shower but DOES scrub his face several times a day. Would explain the shine, acne, and redness.
And maybe he scrubbed off his eyebrows.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
Please, please believe that all Vermonters are not like this…
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
I so want to believe this is an elaborate, site-spanning troll. But alas.
The second picture might as well be titled The Last Thing My Previous Girlfriend Saw Before I Locked Her In My Crawlspace.
Super Lurve
11 
0
Glad you liked the submission. Totally freaked me out when I got it but my second thought was “DATEWRECKS!”
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
I…I looked at his ballsack. Feeling compelled to look at internet penis links is like a sickness.
And his “wind turbine” picture? Utterly ridiculous.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Freaky Bacon!!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Does anyone else find it strange that he uses an enema more often than he showers?
Super Lurve
5 
0
blarf!
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
He actually says his phone number address in another video called Dr appointment call
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
on youtube
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I am trying not to ponder on how those odd little bumps got to be on his head. The camera angle catches them perfectly and he looks so proud that I wonder if it isn’t more of his handiwork. Total, out-of-control OCD this guy has. He wouldn’t strike me as the type that would want to pump and dump. He’d most likely get far more intimate than that! Ewwwww…..
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
I truly want to believe in karma after reading this. When this guy dies, most likely in horrible pain from liver failure after chronic anemia (thats what yellow poo suggests to me), I picture Buddha explaining to him why he was reborn as a 17-year-cicada: because boring, baffling and bothering innocent bystanders with his bullshit and blather amasses so much bad karma he’ll need centuries to ascend the evolutionary ladder, most likely to become a bullfrog.
Since he qualified for a Darwin award and posted all the details in his profile, at least he’ll never ever procreate.
I usually read this terrific blog late at night – luckily I was very early today and have 9 hours left to forget this creep (it’s 3 pm here in europe)…
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
My as-of-yet-undefined-relational-partner watches in a TONGUE IN CHEEK fashing….pro wrestling.
http://www.ugo.com/sports/undertakers-wrestlemania-matches/images/entries/kane.jpg
Jami, take a look at the link and then the second picture again. And then if you’re brave enough, read some of the storylines they’ve put this dude in.
Raping a woman and getting her pregnant, only to make her marry me in a bizarre ceremony with midgets, and then have her fall in love with me???? Yeah…..they go there.
Accidentaly killing my childhood sweetheart, and implying I molested her corpse at the funeral? Yeah…totally went there.
I wonder if these are the sweet moments this guys wishes for in a relationship. Or if they took storylines from this guys life???
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
fashing= fashion. Sorry.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
AND my quotation marks won’t show up….can we all figure out that I’m talking in HIS first person? Yeah…continue.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
What.
The.
FUCK.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Yeah, the first thing i noticed was that he looked like “that really crazy guy” from WWF” but i was trying to figure out a way to explain why i knew that.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
I like that he is worried about the government “poisoning his food” but is completely cool with drinking bleach.
And i’m not even going into an explanation of the digestive system and the effects of bile in color of poo.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Bile… Yep, that’d explain the yellow. This dude’s screwed his liver!
But honestly, what sicko smells his own poop?
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Wow, I’m shocked and stunned, and this is after working on in-patient units in psychiatric hospitals. I can’t help but be more interested in who actually replies to him. Who is that woman? I pray that she is not seeking a cure for Hep C.
Super Lurve
5 
0
Gotta be a Debbie Downer here, I think mocking the mentally ill is pretty low. I totally get the humor of this site and think it’s clever, but, this man is unstable and needs medical/psychiatric help.
Love it or hate it?
1 
3
You don’t think that ALL of the Date Wrecks are a little mentally ill?
No. The truth is, it’s a train wreck. But everything on this site is a wreck. This is why the blog is called Date Wrecks.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
And Jami’s not mocking the guy because he’s ill…she (and all of us) are mocking him because he wants to drag other people into his illness. I agree, the man needs help. But in our society, a lot of the people who really need help not only never get it, but then go on to make everybody else’s lives just that much more miserable…
*cues the Battle Hymn of the Republic*
You can feel sorry for someone who’s a wreck and yet feel horrible and squicked out at the same time. It’s good to vent, and this isn’t a bad place to do it. Somewhere safe, and regulated, that relieves the horror of squeezing out a bathroom window or bribing a waiter to sneak you out through the kitchen rather than go back to that table with the scary, scary person and whatever freaky plans they have for you…
Super Lurve
6 
0
I’m impressed you made it all the way through the second video. I gagged horribly at the q-tips in the sinus cavity and shut it off.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
He looks like a Klingon mated with a glazed ham. I wonder if the decidedly scraggly facial hairs have anything to do with his “healthy” lifestyle.
Super Lurve
5 
0
…………………….um. What. WHAT.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
Oh dear, it gets worse! Still lives with his mom who, according to him, wants to make out with him. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=17226212
This guy belongs in the worst wrecks category for sure.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Oh gee thanks, just wasted a bunch of time on his Myspace….His profile there is….well, completely in tune with his profile up above: cah-ray-zee (with baby pics, of course!). He has 1000 friends, but…I think most of them are himself, or people also named “Danny”.
Lemme reiterate: He is friends with himself – SEVERAL DIFFERENT VERSIONS of himself (one of whom is called Proper Poo). And comments on his own posts. And comments on his alternate selves’ sites…..
Oh, he’d get my vote for wreckiest wreck that ever wrecked…if it weren’t for Fantasy Carl, Aussie Rick, Rosie….it’s just so hard to pick…
Super Lurve
6 
0
I’m so scared now.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
I saw that too and found it both disturbing and hilarious.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
This is the guy who traps you on the bus and makes you listen to his bullshit about how he can cure cancer and aids for HOURS until you’re nearly crying with a need to escape, then doesn’t understand why you changed bus routes and asks you about it when you’re brave enough to try the original route six months later. He’s the guy who’s heard the word ‘boundaries’ but thinks it applies to everyone but him.
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
This has disturbed me for the past few days, and has caused me to imagine the dinner conversation… which would inevitably cause the girl to excuse herself for the lavatory, thus using that excuse as a means of escape.
*shudders*
I need brain cleaner.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
My thought of what her response would be is “I’m sorry. I forgot I have a boyfriend” as she runs off. However, your scenario works too.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
What the hell is with his incredibly dumb comment about deodorant and NEVER WEARING IT? Everybody knows antiperspirants are bad for you, dude–that’s why a lot of people wear just plain deodorant.
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
The worst thing about all of this is he seems to think he’s a pretty impressive person. Then again I’d be lying if I said he didn’t make any sort of impression.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
>expert at cunnilingus
>ladies guaranteed to finish
So that’s whats all over his face in the first pic?
Would certainly explain the look of smug self satisfaction.
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
There just truely are no words for this one Jami.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Oh my jeebus lord. I just wasted 2o minutes listening to him telephonically abuse and harass receptionists at a medical clinic. Part 1 and part 2, in which he also states home phone number to the watching youtube world and throw around the fact that he is “psychologically impaired”.
It seems he’s mentally ill, as in seriously impaired. Schizoaffective or Bipolar featuring psychosis?
Of course I have empathy for disabled folks, but he is just a jerk on top of it.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
i bet since he lied about the smoothness of his ballsack, he probably lies about the color of his banana yellow turds, too.
also, i actually lol’ed when he started talking about his pink butthole. can you imagine what a damn conversation with him is like if he puts this shit up on okcupid?
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
This guy has “Serial Killer” written all over his profile. Especially that uber-creepy pic of him without eyebrows.
I can just imagine him saying, “It puts the lotion on it’s skin and drinks the oxyclean every day”
*shudders*
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
You know I’m tempted to call his home number, just to talk and see if this guys actually for real. Then I realise by doing this he would have MY number, and that some of his youtubes are filmed far too close to my home near Ipswich…
Love it or hate it?
0 
0