I mean, in addition to the fact that, according to our submitter in Mika in Cambridge, Massachusetts, he posts the same thing on his local Craigslist over and over again, (though, by now the links to those posts have expired – SCREENSHOTS PEOPLE!) however, two of the posts were still available.
For your viewing pleasure, meet Mike… Or George.
I’M HERE..WHERE ARE YOU CHECK ME OUT – 500 (westport mass my farm )
Wat I like to do- Movies, shopping, Ridding My Harley Daivdson, Driving my truck, Driving my Tow Truck, Working, Clubbing, Dancing, Playing My Drums, Ridding my 4 Wheeler, Walking on the Beach, Dinner, Cruising around, Drinking, outdoors and working out and running….. crazybiker7744 aim or yahoo mikehottie69Interests:LOOKING FOR friends / IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES ??????????Favorite Movies:LIMED DATE, KING OF THE HILl, SOUTH PARK, cHEECK Y cHONG’S UP IN sMOKE, ROAD HOUSE, DESERT HEAT, BRINGING THE HOUSE DOWN, LONGEST YARD, ARE WE THERE YET, SWEET HOME ALABAMA, BRUCE ALMIGHTY, WEDDING CRASHERS, SAVING SILVERMAN, GUESS WHO, MAN OF THE HOUSEAbout Me:Old Enough To Know Better But Young Enough To Not Give A Fuck…My name is George, I am a hard worker, im a farmer and I work for a Construcion i’m a truck driver 10 wheeler dump truck. and i got my own farm in dartmouth mass and live on other farm in westport mass I’m 6’1 about 280lbs have brown eyes brown hair. I dont smoke or do any Drugs all i do is Drink beer lol I live on a 100 acres farm. Westport Ma. fuck ya . Wat I like to do- Driving my truckS, Working, Clubbing, Dancing, Playing My Drums singing rock , Ridding my 4 Wheelers & GO CARTS , Dinner, Going For A Drink , BOATING JET SKI’ING FISHING, Going for walks on the beach, Talking on My Nextel, Computer, Cleaning, Playing Foseball,Shooting Pool, Going to the Gym Bally’s Dartmouth Mall, I DO EveryTHing Contact Information
Contact InformationEmail:AIM:crazybiker7744if you send me email or im me send your picture or i dont get back to you thanks for reading
So, yea… The post is HORRIBLE. I mean, in addition to the standard spelling mistakes and whatnot, the entire think just doesn’t make sense. “cHEECK Y cHONG’S UP IN sMOKE”?!? How in the world do you not notice that kind of a typo? That’s beyond my realm of understanding. Blows my mind. I’m also confused by the number 500 in his title. Not being terribly familiar with the northeast, I’m thinking that maybe it means that Westport, MA is 500 miles from Providence, RI. But google maps tells me that it’s less than 30 miles. Hm. Well, he can’t be 500 years old… No, I suppose not. Maybe that’s his budget?
Here’s let’s take a look at another, more recent post of his.
LOOKING FOR A GF CHECK ME OUT – 3000 (IM A FARMER )
(I’m not putting all this text here because it is LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME!)
Well, he did increase his price/number/age/distance/whatever it is to 3000. And a few new pictures, thanks Mike/George!
So, in my typical style, I googled his user names and came up with his Plenty of Fish profile AND his ratemybody.com page.
My favorite pictures from both of those pages:
Yeeeeeah, boy! I also saw links at fling.com where he said that he’s self employed and has three “bussniesses”… Oh, and he’s also clear that he’s seeking “sexual relations/other” Heh. Right. He’s a good guy , girls. Gooooooder than good.
This one was my favorite though… I’m not sure if it was the frame around his picture or his paragraph about what he dislikes. You tell me:
Description:
I’m 6ft about 195lbs. I work out. like to stay fit. I have brn hair brn sexy eyes im single lol hell ya im me -crazybiker774 @aol.com or mikehottie69@yahoo.com – crazybiker774@aol.com I work 50 hours a week monday through friday i Work for Construction in westport and fall river mass
Likes:
I want a girl with a nice personallity. good sence of hummor. Turn ons are a Girlwho deffinately likes to cuddle I love to cuddle, cares more about me then drugz ive been there it sux wen they dont n has to like to b close to me . I love eyes so u have to have nice eyes lol. I love wen I can talk to some one about n e thing cuz i seem to have a trusting issue I like wen a Girl is jus straight up i mean why lie for real it takes more to tell me the truth n ill give u alot more credit too maybe its cuz im so damn cute lol jk
Dislikes:
yahsmoking, baggy close. what ever else is a turn off:( players, a girl thinks shes all that lessthanthree is a cocky users, a girl sits in the house all day and dont go out borning lazy fat and hairy poverts i hate if ur a povert dont im me… sad faces bichy talking to guys be hide my back if you like what u herd about me hit me up crazybiker774@aol.com im me
GOD. I hate the poverts, too. They drive me batty!
So, in closing… If you can google your new lovah’s username and come up with shit like this, it’s time to clear your throat and let loose with a NEXT! that will rattle the windowpanes. But really, ladies… If your vaginas weren’t already clanked upon opening up this website, then I can’t help you.
