(Do you understand how many ‘You Might Be A Redneck If…” jokes I had to read to find that gem?? Bless MY heart!)
Stephanie sends this submission in and every time she does, I just want to go find her and hug her. I mean, dating is hard everywhere, but in Kentucky? THIS is the kind of stuff she has to contend with:
jslatanic1973 : lookin for something serious!
louisville Kentucky
36 year old ManI am Seeking a
Woman For Long Term
Do you drink?
Socially
Marital Status
Single
Profession
own my own lawn care co.
Smarts
N/A
Do you want children?
Does not want children
Do you do drugs?
No
Do you have children?
Yes
Do you have a car?
Yes
Interests
long term relationship
About Me
first off, my name is jimmy. my hobbies are, shooting my guns, building model cars, gettin tats, bike riding, hiking,fishing, camping. i own and operate my own lawn and landscaping buisness, plus im a part time cemetary attendant. i have 3 children, 14, 17, 19 they do not live with me. i cannot have anymore children. im preety much self suffishiant ive been single for almost 5 years now due to i got hurt really bad. just have taken time to myself for a while. now im ready to move on with my life.i love anything to do with the outdoors. i love to travel go to NYC every year.i love all kinds of music but mostly rock,metal, classic rock, and some country. i like some rap but only certain ones. i love movies, have hundreds of dvds. i love to play football with my kids also. im lookin for someone between the ages of 24-45 for a serious relationship
First Date
hard to say it verys from time to time but something simple. dinner, movie, maybe just meeting outdoors to talk.
OOOh, damn. Maybe I should funnel all donations for the month of January into the Kentucky Public School System. This is unbearable.
Smarts? N/A?! Seriously. Did you just say that brain power is non-applicable, Jimmy? I guess you didn’t have to say it because you certainly communicated it in your profile with such brilliant quips as, “im preety much self suffishiant” and that your vast catalog of interests include finding a long term relationship. [shaking head]
It’s like when you were taking a test in school and the teacher put under the line for your name, “Write the word red at the bottom of this page for 50% of your grade,” but stupid jokers wouldn’t read directions and they’d fail. JIMMY! There’s a place on Plenty of Fish where you LIST your interests — and there’s a reason for it — people with your same interests will be able to find you easier.
And does anybody else think that pictures two and three look an awful lot like mug shots? “Turn to your left.” [camera flash] “Now turn to your right.” [camera flash]
The mullet just sent me over the edge, not to mention the soul patch and oh – the RIFLE IN THE DINING ROOM! Dude, c’mon. This is too easy.
Lesson: Having four pictures on your personal ad of you in the same clothes, all taken within two minutes of one another doesn’t count as ‘multiple pictures’ — pick one, dude. And don’t pick the one with the gun.
I will admit though, that my grandmother had the matching pieces to that hutch behind him. Ahhh, god bless my southern roots.
