Sunday Showcase: Single Steve
Sunday Showcase — By Jami on January 10, 2010 at 7:00 am
Hey! Welcome back, Sunday Showcase! We’ve missed you!
Steve is up on deck today and is a fellow blogger. I don’t remember how I stumbled across Steve’s blog some time back, but he delivers some really funny and often painfully honest commentary on his personal dating life. I think it was probably his Craigslist All Stars Posts (One, Two, Three and Four, um, I guess Three again, but a different post). He has this thing where he photoshops pictures to go along with his blog and the end result is generally really funny. He’s also self-deprecating, which I love. If you can’t make fun of yourself, really… How are you going to make fun of other people? That’s my motto anyway.
ANYWAY, Steve posted recently about getting a Dating Coach. Apparently, she used to edit profiles for a dating site and I guess that makes her an expert…? I dunno. I tweeted to Steve that he should submit to Sunday Showcase because I think you guys should be able to help him with his personal ad more so than this other chick with a blog she rarely updates. Ahem. Sorry, my hater-dar is beep-beep-beeping.
ANYWAY (part deux), here’s Steve’s profile on Match.com.
For those of you who aren’t up to speed on how Sunday Showcase works, here’s the gist: This area is something of a snark-free zone. It takes a bit leap to share your personal ad with the world and open yourself up to criticism from complete strangers from all over the world. So, if you’ve got input for Steve, try to find a way to phrase it in a constructive manner. If you don’t play nice on these posts, I have no beef blocking your ability to comment on the blog as a whole. I am fiercely protective of my Showcasers.
Here he is:
Steve
26 / M / straight / Single
I am Ridiculous, Responsible, and Awesome.
My Self-Summary
I’ve been out here in San Diego for three years, after graduation, and loving every moment of it. I’m a sarcastic, witty, ambitious, engineering “nerd” who loves making people laugh. I am outgoing, social and other cliche adjectives I’m supposed to put here…. I’m working full time as an engineer, going to SDSU for my MBA part time.
I’m a big brother with big brothers big sisters, Special Olympics basketball coach and president of a non profit organization here in San Diego. Don’t let all that “responsible” stuff fool you, I still have fun with the rest of them. I love a good bar crawl, can flip cup it with the best of them, loves sake bombs, west coast cranium champion and will dance you under the table
I am looking to meet someone who loves to laugh, likes going out and trying new things. Someone who will enjoy doing all the things there is to do in San Diego. Social, outgoing and witty is a plus. Someone mature, but not afraid to act like a kid.
Work Hard, Play Hard, Say Thank You.
What I’m doing with my life
Work, School, Play. Repeat.
I’m really good at
-Dancing
-Taking pictures
-Being on time
-Public speaking
-Wrestling Bears
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Books-I never learned to read
Movies-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory(old one), Super Troopers, Old School, Napoleon Dynamite, Walt Disney’s Sing Along
Music-Hip and or Hop, Old school Weezer, Jack Johnson, Foo Fighters, sad emo music, rock, pretty much everything.
Food-Chinese food, and anything covered in bacon
The six things I could never do without
1.) The internet
2.) My eyes. I need them to check facebook.
3.) College Sports
4.) Ranch
5.) My great group of friends
6.) My family
6.5.) My blackberry
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with my great group of friends. PB bars, downtown, movie night, game night, anything and everything.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
I once knocked myself out in 4th grade by running head first into a wall.
I write a humor blog about my online dating shenanigans. It’s actually pretty popular?
You should message me if
you = awesome
I think it’s a pretty good profile. The Online Wing Woman suggested that he’s too smiley in his pictures which I just found… I mean, kind of hysterical. In one of Steve’s posts, he mentioned this and said: “I couldn’t find a single photo of me not smiling. This might be an issue, apparently.” I couldn’t disagree with this more — if you are a smiley person and you’re happy and cheerful, your pictures should communicate that. Now, if you’re secretly an emo joker who cuts his arms and wears long sleeves and bright smiles to cover up your deep, dark sadness… Then perhaps smiley pictures are misleading. But from what I know of Steve from reading his blog and following his Twitter/Facebook feeds, he’s a cheerful guy with a successful career, a heart for volunteering, and a great group of friends that he enjoys spending time with. Sounds happy to me. Why hide that?
The Online Wing Woman also suggested he read The Game.[heavy fucking sigh] Seriously… I will never understand. Dating is about experiences — not about reading books to learn the rules. GO. DATE. LIVE! What you think you know about the opposite sex is often thrown right out the window on your next partner. People are all different and trying to build a formula that will work on everyone across the board is insulting. To me, at least.
I think this is a good profile — you learn about who he is and how he spends his time. He touches on what he’s seeking, but doesn’t dwell. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, which I think makes people feel at ease.
Steve, I have no idea why online dating hasn’t been successful for you, pal. Maybe it’s where you live? Don’t let your appearance as a “nice guy” discourage you — from my experience, nice guys don’t have a good time dating in their twenties because bitches are obsessed with bad boys. But it won’t be long before women will see how great it is to date a nice guy.
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53 Comments
Nice profile, it gives the reader a good idea of who Steve is and she can decide whether he feels compatible with her (so far, he is a bit too young and many thousands miles too far away for me).
Maybe the second photo (jumpin’ in front of the snow mural) would have been better placed at the last place, or replaced with more “serious” photos like the 1st and 3rd ones? Most of the photos give the impression of undauntable energy, and too much play can be exhausting and not conductive to romance.
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I agree about the jumping picture. It’s not a bad picture, I just don’t think it fits well with the others. The very last one of him high-fiving the statue makes me giggle, and probably will for the rest of the day!
Saying “I never learned to read” under books made me laugh, too, but makes me really wonder what kind of books he reads. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
I also agree with Jami. Too bad he can’t find that right girl; he seems like a fantastic guy!
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I love this guy’s profile! Ahhh, if only I was remotely close to 26…
Steve, here’s the mom/educator two cent input:
Keep the jumping picture and make it first. Put the smiling photo last. This one in the suit says mature, older, business…after all the fun silly photos, it will remind the reader that you are a grown-up.
Also, don’t forget capitals. Cranium, Facebook, Blackberry–all brand names that need to be capitalized.
And make it ranch DRESSING–unless you own a branding iron?
Otherwise it’s a great profile!
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Christ, Steve. If you’re having trouble with a profile like this, the rest of us are doomed.
I’m not the target demographic, but a couple of thoughts:
1. Maybe a photo of you doing something rather than posing? You work, study, volunteer, and go out with friends. A candid shot (no, the Burger King crown one isn’t quite what I’m thinking) would be interesting: the wild Steve in his natural environment.
2. I’m a big fan of the high-five photo. I’m not a big fan of the jumping photo.
3. The books line is funny, but the entire profile is funny. Put at least one really interesting book there, especially since it provides an instant topic of conversation. Everyone loves a fun-loving guy, but it can be a little exhausting after a while — a thoughtful book shows your introspective side.
Super Lurve
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I’ll be the odd one out and say I don’t find the books line funny. That’s probably personal preference though–I have no patience for people who don’t like to read, and that’s exactly what a line like that says to me.
I agree that a picture doing something other than posing is a good idea. The fact that, but for the first one, every. single. photo. is humorous is a bit wearying. Perhaps he’s trying to provide a counterpoint to all the serious, grown-up stuff in his opening paragraph? At any rate, I think that’s what the dating coach had in mind when she said he’s too smiley in his pictures. That the bulk of them are the same type makes it seem as if he’s trying to hard.
Super Lurve
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Wow. A guy who has a great outlook on life, has a good time (and yet doesn’t feel compelled to say “I like to have fun”), has a great sense of humor and is obviously intelligent? What’s not to love? A+ profile.
I like the first picture where it is. For me, when I’m scanning through profiles where all you can see is the thumbnail, I like a photo that shows me who the person is without having to click on it to actually see a face. That photo shows a good-looking, responsible and happy guy. Too smiley? If that’s who you are, that’s definitely what the pictures should show.
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Wait, this is Match.com, but all his photos are watermarked with OKCupid? I would probably change that; maybe switch out some of the photos for more candid ones, like others have said, too. Proper capitalization and grammar would help, too, I think — that tends to trip me up and causes me to focus on how he’s saying something rather than *what* he’s saying.
I like the “never learned to read” line, but that may be because I like to tell people I’m secretly illiterate. Still, having at least a couple books listed would be good; the lack of books listed could cause some really great potential matches to look elsewhere.
This guy is definitely ridiculous — in a good way. Adorably ridiculous.
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No, this is OkCupid.
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PS: I like the bear wrestling line.
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I have to agree with Sabra, I found the “I never learned to read” to be a major negative. Clearly Steve is educated. Educated people have to read. A lot. In my experience, the people who are completely dismissive of reading entirely are the opposite of well educated. If all you read is text for school, then put something dorky like engineering codes. But don’t make it sound like you couldn’t care less about reading. Aside from that, fabulous profile! Kind of wish he wasn’t on the opposite side of the country…
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I happen to know Steven in real life as I had the pleasure of sharing some classes with him. He is a truly stand-up guy and does all those nice things (Big Brother, Special Olympics Coach, etc) because he actually, legitimately gives a damn.
If I had a sister I would be happy to have her date Steven. Truly an awesome dude.
After reading all the critiques I have to agree with some about the pictures. I think a picture of you coaching, that is not the “i’m having my picture taken” smile, might be a good addition.
You really should add something to the reading column too. Even if it is just adding something along the lines of, “Seriously, I don’t read much except for school. I really liked _________’s __________ novel though.”
After that I’d say you have a pretty decent profile. I’m no expert but I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t be your snarky funny self.
Super Lurve
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All in favor of voting Graham as a Date Wreck for encouraging Steve to LIE IN HIS PERSONAL AD, say aye!
Super Lurve
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I take his advice as, “You need an edgier hobby. So get an edgier hobby.” That’s not lying. That’s self-improvement.
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That’s totally not what he wrote, James… Though, I’m not sure I’d even agree with your sentiment. Getting an edgier hobby would serve what purpose? If it’s not something you’re interested in, and you’re only doing it to “hook chicks” then eventually, she’ll figure that out and then… You’d be like… a liar.
I don’t think Steve needs to do anything differently. I think he needs to probably develop an interest in dating older women or just enjoy the shit out of his twenties. The nice guy thing is ingrained into who a man is — it’s not a bad thing unless your goal is to score poonany. It’s just not appreciated in your twenties by other bitches in their twenties.
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Hmm… interesting characterization of what I said as advice to lie, but I don’t see it that way. I guess I see Internet dating like I see Search Engine Optimization — there’s a lot of sites out there that do the same things as you, so you need to have something unique that appeals to a broad range of potential users (dates) to get them in and see what you’re about. After that, the content is what counts (nice guy, educated, mature, etc.).
I don’t advocate anything drastic, but from what I see Steve is a very busy guy and hardly has time for his current activities. He’s ambitious and has priorities so this aspect (dating) may suffer in the mean time.
Steve’s qualities may be only truly appreciated by more mature women like yourselves so dating girls in their twenties may not be too fruitful for him. If that’s the case, is he willing to date older women?
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I have to agree with Jami on this. Besides, I’m a single chick and I find the fact that he works with Big Brothers and the Special Olympics to be incredibly sexy.
Also, as a woman in her 30′s, who has been knocked around by one too many bad boys, I have to say that nice guys are hot. Nice is oh so very hot.
Super Lurve
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I’m saying! Steve! Hold out for a few years man… Not only will the “nice guy” things be sexy suddenly (“God, it’s so hot when you iron your polo shirts…”) but women reach their sexual prime in their thirties.
It’s WIN WIN!
Super Lurve
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Three cheers for men who are self-sufficient! Add in cooking (for themselves, a plus . . . for you, waaaaay hot) and it’s a package made in heaven. And Jami, not only do women reach their sexual prime in their thirties, they STAY there well into their fifties. Hey, hey, hey . . . just givin’ you somethin’ to look forward to! Oh yeah.
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I agree… Too bad he isn’t a wee bit older, and closer to my time zone. But the Big Brothers and Special Olympics thing had me swooning. I’ll take that over an edgy hobby.
I also liked the pictures.
I was not as drawn to the reading comments, and agree with the other women who like. Could you finish the joke with an actual book you like? Granted, I know you can read, but reading = sexy.
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Love the profile overall! I feel like we know a bit about the true Steve!
I even like all the pics.
What I don’t like… His comment about how he never learned to read. It doesn’t strike me as funny and is a big turn off. Surely there us some book he’s liked. If not then delete that line. It just hit me wrong.
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I think it’s the message it conveys in attitude more than anything else. Personally, I don’t really care if my guy like to curl up and read a book or not. But I think, to some, it can come across as egotistical… cocky…
And while I can see Steve probably puffing up his chest at a pub with friends and pretending to be cocky, I can’t imagine that he’s ACTUALLY cocky. It’s out of place.
It doesn’t bother me all that much, but I understand why it would bother other people.
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I don’t think he’s illiterate. I think he doesn’t bother reading unless he has to. I know reading isn’t exactly valued by a lot of people these days, and that’s fine, but he needs to be sure the women who don’t read are the ones he really wants to attract.
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Besides the book line, I enjoyed every bit of this profile. If I weren’t already married I’d fly down to San Diego and marry him immediately. Twice.
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I agree with switching the pictures around a little bit, make the first one last. I’d actually put the jumping photo on top, but that’s just me. Definitely keep the photo posing with the Wildcat, if nothing else it will scare away any ASU bee-yotches which is fine since they are all skanks anyway.
The reading thing needs to be changed. If you don’t want to get into what you actually like, then a good safe bet is always Calvin and Hobbes. Honestly, I had you pegged as a total C&H guy.
Lastly, on one hand I wish I’d met you while you were still here in Tucson, but on the other hand, I think you have too much energy for me, my 2.5 y/o son wears me out as it is. Good luck to you Steve, I agree with Jami, gals your age are really shallow for the most part, but give it 2 or 3 years (or get into older women) and you will be beating them off with a stick as long as you stay sweet.
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This profile is pretty good. It kind of reminds me of my own OK Cupid profile from my single days (about 5 years ago). I didn’t have very much luck with it, either (aside from getting many, many messages from perverts). I think when the coach said you seemed too smiley, she meant it seemed like you were always “on.” You know, like how Jim Carrey acted in all his interviews in the 90′s. You want to show your happy, funny side, but too much is exhausting! I agree with whoever said you should include a photo wearing stylish, non-work clothes. What would you wear to go dancing? Make sure you aren’t doing the running man in the photo! Also, please be aware that if you don’t list your favorite books, you are going to alienate 90% of English majors, librarians, etc.
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I’m rather new here, and tend to just creep this site and leave
This profile has prompted me to put in my two cents.
His profile great, the only part I didn’t love is where he says “I write a humor blog about my online dating shenanigans”. A+ for honesty but without seeing the site he is referring to and knowing what he posts it would turn me off of responding to him.
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The line that everyone is getting up in arms about is one of my favourite lines from Wayne’s World. I like a man in a suit. I like a man who can smile in a suit. I like a man who can smile and have fun in a suit. My favourite picture is him high-fiving the statue. I snorted for real.
When I dabbled in the whole internet dating thing, profiles like this caught my eye. His whole profile seems a bit cheeky to me, and I’m not sure about other ladies, but that gets me hook, line and sinker. A guy who can have humour about searching for love or a little like on the vast intarwebz is a rarity. The sincerity beneath the humour is touching.
The only change I would suggest is ditching the mascot picture and make the one of him wearing a crown his main focus.
The “awesome = you” line is successful on the right kind of person. I asked my current boyfriend to apply to my friends for permission to date me and to prove he was awesome enough for me, and he did, and even provided a Certificate of Awesometicity to go with his formal written application.
The profile as-is will appeal to the kind of girl who’s right for him. It worked on me, shame I’m in Australia and I’m already taken. I have a friend who’d be right up his alley though. Thank you Steve for sharing with the world. I’m going to adopt your motto too. x
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OK SERIOUSLY? What woman would say “Zomg he sounds PERFECT!! buuuuut…he didn’t list his favorite books and made a smart ass comment about reading so: REJECTED.
Wow! Maybe THAT is why Steve’s been unsuccessful. It’s not that he’s a hard-working, hilarious guy who smiles too much and obviously has WAY too much fun in his life, it’s because he’s not an avid reader. 99% perfect ladies, but that 1% lack of reading as a hobby just kills the deal. Since when is “What’s your favorite book?” a deal breaker?
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When the answer is “I don’t have one.” Or Danielle Steele. Different things have different values for different people. Having some common interests is important in establishing a relationship, and if a woman’s top interest is books, then she is probably going to be more attracted to someone who enjoys reading. Are kindness, loyalty, and intelligence more important? Of course. But honestly, those take longer to assess in another person (months, even) so you have to interest someone in going on a few dates with you in order to get to that point!
Super Lurve
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Or Maxim magazine. That one’s the worst for me.
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Eh..I’m glad I don’t have to date girls LOL
I was married for 9 years to someone who didn’t read for pleasure. On the list of 100 things that I wish I could have changed about my ex? Lack of reading as a hobby wouldn’t have even made it. Relationships are boring when you both line up exactly and have the same interests in EVERY field. I just think it’s awfully judgmental to say “Oh well THAT one little line out of the entire profile just kills it for me.”
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The only two things that I can critique from the actual ad are the Wildcat photo (I just think its the least effective) and the lack of a period at the end of the “dance you under the table” sentence. If I was on a dating site, those two things wouldn’t be annoying enough to keep me from responding. I don’t mind the book comment, it seems consistent with his sense of humor. Steve seems like a genuinely nice guy. I think this, more than anything else- is what’s working against him for women in their mid-twenties (which I am). However, I don’t think he should read the Game and get a “dicksona” or whatever to improve his “Nemo”. That’s just encouragement to turn into the douche who cries nice. Eventually Steve will find somebody that he’ll click with, just the way he is.
Super Lurve
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Please allow me to attest to the fact that not all girls under 30 are into bad boys. I for one find a nice guy infinitely more attractive than a douche. What I don’t find attractive however are boring guys, thank God Steve doesn’t seem to be one of them
As for the book comment, I am one of those people who takes the “Fave book, movie, food…” Section very seriously. It’s not so much that I demand potential dates be up on their Chaucer, for me it’s more important that they have an opinion, any opinion, be it similar or different than my own. Steve did seem to have opinions on the other parts of the questions so I figured the book comment was a joke and I took it as such, but if a guy has no opinions about anything… it’s a no-go for me.
In closing and in summary, I’m remotely close to 26, I like nice guys, I find books moderately important, and if Steve ever finds himself in the OC, he can call me up anytime.
Super Lurve
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Dear Diary,
Jackpot.
xoxo-
Steven
Super Lurve
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Hee Hee! I totally giggled when I read this.
Fuck online dating, I should just start pimping out the Sunday Showcase folks, eh?
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I think both the “I never learned to read” line and the fact that he values dressing more than his friends and family are a bit off putting. I liked the photos and did not find them “too smiley.” Otherwise, I think it is a great profile.
Perhaps I am showing my ignorance, but what are PB bars? I have a mental picture of a tavern that serves only peanut butter based drinks and food. I am pretty sure that is not correct.
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Overall, I liked the profile, but the reading comment struck me as a bad joke that totally fell flat. I think in another profile, it would have totally been fodder for DW snarkery, you know?
Steve, I think you’re adorable – your pictures are great and they made me smile, I especially love the last one. You seem like a fun and genuinely nice guy, which makes me wish I had met you when I was younger and dating, I doubt I would be so jaded now!
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*sigh*
I like him. He’s cute. He’s smart. He’s all philanthropic and shat. He’s in my age range.
He likes Weezer (which is a must in my book) and SUPER TROOPERS. People who like Super Troopers are the best people (ahem, me).
BUT he lives 1700 miles away.
I need to move.
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I’m an avid reader and wasn’t bothered by the reading line at all. It’s part of his sense of humor. I’ve dated guys in the past who didn’t like to read at all, and believe it or not, somehow we found other things to talk about. But, having read his profile, I could see that he is well-spoken and obviously with his educational goals he’s reading SOMETHING, so I might consider that he doesn’t have time to read for pleasure and therefore can’t think of a recent book he’s read or enjoyed. To say that this one line is a dealbreaker for you, specifically, and therefore he should leave it out, is the same as saying, “I don’t like kids, so you should leave the Big Brothers Big Sisters line out.” Whether that line indicates he’s a reader or not, that’s who HE is, and while it may not attract YOU, somebody else might find it funny or not care that he doesn’t read. Chances are, he wouldn’t want to date someone who can’t look beyond one humorous line in his profile.
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By the way, my comments aren’t aimed at any one person..
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All the pictures are in some way posed, with fake “say cheese!” smiles. Maybe replace some of them with more natural shots, possibly with other people in them (rather than mascots, statues, backdrops, etc).
“Work, School, Play. Repeat” Work and school are obvious, but you could mean a lot of different things by “Play”, and it’s probably important which thing it is. Why not elaborate rather than going for the small wordcount here?
“It’s actually pretty popular?” No. Either you’re telling your prospective date something you shouldn’t (“I’m popular!”), or you’re showing a lack of self-confidence with that question mark. Leave this sentence out entirely. Let her conclude on her own that your site is a good one, if that’s important.
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Why show a really serious side when you might not have one? There aren’t that many truly enthusiastic and cheerful people out there anyway – it’s refreshing. Besides, it’s not so much a question of “what women want” as far as that goes; different women want different things! I’ll second Paige’s post. If I wasn’t A) already seeing a wonderful guy and B) on the east coast, I’d look you up. Good luck with the dating game, Steve..
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I guess I have to go with never learned how to read” line kinda hit me as a bit off from the rest of the profile. It reminded me of when I was in high school and pretending not to read, because guys at my school weren’t into chicks who were literate…all the while, I was secretly reading Stephen King novels and other various literature. I guess I would’ve preferred to see ANYTHING there, even if you fancy reading Playboy articles because even with an answer like that, I believe this guy could’ve made it funny enough that a woman wouldn’t find it creepy.
And maybe a bit more specific in the what you’re looking for part? After all, I know of way too many women who read things like that, go to meet a guy, and learn they were looking for the body of a 100 pounder, or just a quick jostle in the bed. Being a bit more specific, I think, just makes it seem like you’re actually thinking about this, and not just trying to do something nefarious in the pants.
If I weren’t engaged, I would totally be all over you either way!
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i just wanted to say i think he sounds way cool. i hope he gets a lot of fun girls who wanna date him b/c of this. glad to see so many comments! i think Steve is totally cute and sounds like a blast! don’t change a thing!
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Is Steve having any luck? We want updates!
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It’s a good profile. I even liked the jumping photo. It shows a sense of humor. Something I noticed, though…in the first two pics he looks like a sharp dressed guy and in the others…not so much. It’s not just that his clothes are casual, but that his casual clothes seem to be way too big, which tends to look sloppy and make people look heavier than they are. I would advise that he start wearing casual clothes with a more proper fit (a size or two smaller), and take some new photos in those. Also, get rid of that shirt with the horizontal stripes. Very few people look flattering in those.
As to why he’s not having any luck..if he’s relying on just his profile that could be why. Women on dating sites get too many responses to go researching profiles of men other than the ones contacting them. But don’t make the mistake of contacting every woman under the sun and skipping over their profiles. Most women see right through that and it just wastes your time. Find profiles of women you think you might like and introduce yourself.
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Oh, I forgot to add..it’s a good idea to say something specific about her profile that proves to her you’ve actually read it. That will give you an advantage. You’d be surprised at how many men don’t do that at all.
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Well, if I was into guys, I would date Steve. I found his profile amusing but well written. I will admit to having an automatic shut-down switch to chat speak, people who cannot spell, or use correct grammar in their profiles. To me, the quip about never learning to read was funny, since he is quite obviously and intelligent man.
My only critique, Steve, would be to lose the second photo. I saw this as both a woman and a photographer — it just looks weird. The others show your personality well, though, and I like the high-five with the statue. It’s dorky and cute.
Best of luck; I really think you’ll find someone special, and you’ll deserve her.
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Hey Steve, I liked your ad because it funny and self-effacing. Concentrate on the things that interest you that a possible girlfriend would like to do too. The bit about dancing seemed promising. Internet and Facebook is cool for single guys, but guys with girlfriends do other stuff too. You never see people on TV watching TV.
Just because you haven’t read a book doesn’t mean you can’t start one and say that you are reading it, as in ” I am currently reading The Count of Monte Christo.” Which by the way is an excellent read. Good luck friend.
Love it or hate it?
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