Congratulations, Ben! You’ve just won a chance to date a really weird girl who doesn’t understand that you’re not into her!
Got this submission from Ben about a date gone wrong.
Hey Jami,
I have become a big fan of your blog over the last week after my friend Charlotte showed me an article about a douchebag that more than a few girls have had problems with.
This could be anybody, so I’ve linked to the article he’s talking about. You remember Mark, right?
I have taken a few girls out from online myself and have had one particularly good story that I thought maybe you would be interested in. I know most of your stuff is about how bad guys can be, but some girls really do some pretty funny things themselves, heres my story.
I LOVE IT! I know bitches can be crazy, but you don’t hear about it as often… I think because women are less crazy on the front end and more crazy after you’ve met them… We’re at a disadvantage because it’s less socially acceptable for us to post shirtless pictures or cock shots.
About a month ago, I email this girl and she has one of those pictures of just her face, so you really have no idea of what she actually looks like. We email back and forth and everything is ok, we are fb friends, and her pictures are well….selective. I am not a superficial guy that really didn’t bother me, so I ask her out she agrees… we go to dirnks…. she does not look like anyone I have seen in her photos…fine…shitty, but ok… and I decide not to say anything and just roll with it. I should mention she was much much larger in real life than in any photo…not a big deal but just sayin…
I’m glad you bring this up Ben… Because really, it’s hard for anyone to really show who they are in pictures online, but it’s downright wrong to be deceptive about how you look in your profile. Just wrong. Girls, don’t be ashamed of who you are — I ain’t skinny… I mean, I’m not super fat, but I’m not skinny and I make no beef with being upfront about that right out of the gate.
Anyways the date goes alright, not the best or worst thing in the world. It was kinda obvious, to me at least, that it was just alright and we would probably go out again, but nothing to really run home about.
The next day she send 161 text messages — 42 straight at one point describing basically anything and everything, asking questions, talking about random shit. I mean 161 text in 12 hours time is a lot if the other person is responding with “yeah,” “maybe,” “can’t talk got a meeting.”
Oh… Nobody wants to be THAT person…
So that kinda freaked me out, but I did see her one more time, though everyone said not too. I know, but I felt bad. So we go out again, I talk to her about the whole lot messages, and next time she calms down just 85 texts. It sucked.
This girl wasn’t going to work for me, shes nice, but clearly clingy, and kinda odd with her social habits… So I decide to tell her you know this just isn’t for me. On a Friday night she continued to text a crazy amount, “wish you were here,” “you should come out.” I don’t remember the count but upwards of 70 on a Friday night.
Because nothing says, “I’m not desperate,” more than blowing up someone’s home on a Friday night, begging them to come out with you. DUDE — if you’re home alone, remedy that. If you’re out with friends, put the freakin’ phone away!
Saturday morning I call her and end things and she took it fine, being in agreement and showing some understanding. Then she texts me asking, “WHY?!”
Um, because you’re crazy biotch. And you should have your blackberry surgically removed from your likely-arthritic paws.
So I reply via text saying that some people just dont click, and its ok and we’ll all find someone. I was nice, so I thought…
I’m going to call you on this one, Ben… If she’s obsessively texting you, you should probably step it up a bit and break up with her on the phone. Breakups via text should only be reserved for really volatile situations. And guys with vaginas. I’m sorry… Continue… Sometimes you have to sacrifice being nice for being CLEAR…
So then a few hours later she calls me crying telling me shes sorry, so sorry, give it more time, and explains her general love, after two dates and only knowing me for a little over a week.
Ahhh… That’s more like it! I love it when the crazy really breaks through the surface.
I’m me. I am sure I’m awesome. But no, this is way too weird… But everyone has stories like this, this one is different cause the next night, I was driving home, randomly listening to the radio and she calls in, and starts talking to the DJ. She makes a song request and she tells the DJ her whole side of the story. It was awesome hearing what she thought of the whole thing. So after explaining getting dumped in text, which was bs [Editors Note: Ehhh... You had your toes on the line here, bud], the DJ yells at her thats how things are done nowadays. He asks her how long we dated and she replies, “A week.” The DJ says, “No, I will not play your song” and hangs up!
Noted… I can say though, even though you basically broke up with her via text, she deserved it. You’re free from blemish. Who calls in the radio and requests a song? I mean, except like Delilah.
She still texts me 3 or 4 times a day now.
Count your blessings, Ben… At least she’s not texting you 100+ anymore.
Funny story: My first boyfriend — god, it was like fourth or fifth grade — we were “going out” which meant that, since we went to different schools, we saw each other at church. And that’s about it. There was a boy once, before a Wednesday night church service, who didn’t believe that my boyfriend and I were “going out” so I marched up to him and declared, “Aren’t we boyfriend and girlfriend!?” And he said, “No, not anymore!”
AUGH. My heart was broken.
My mother couldn’t find me after church because my dramatic ass was in the bathroom sobbing my ever-loving eyes out. She probably thought I had been assaulted or molested or something, but no… My boyfriend of (likely) two weeks had CRUSHED MY HEART! [back of hand to forehead]
I called into the radio station later that week, once my body had regained strength from heaving such sad and heavy tears, and requested “Please Don’t Go” by Double You. It was one of those request lines where you could also record a little message to go with your request and they’d play it before the song played. It was something like “This is Jami and this song goes out to [name redacted].” And then the song starts in right away with “Please don’t go. Please don’t go.”
Later that week, the heartbreaker’s brother was like, “Was that you on Star 94 the other night requesting that song and dedicating it to my brother?”
You can imagine how vehemently I denied such an erroneous accusation.
Ha! Ohhh… How embarrassing. It was 1992… I was like… Eleven. And probably just started getting my period or something. My hormones were RAGING.
Ben, I’m going to assume that this girl was NOT eleven years old and probably an adult and therefore, her radio request is not okay.
Good call on ending it.
