Bei Ihm Fällt Der Groschen Pfennigerweise
Craigslist Crazies — By Jami on February 10, 2010 at 8:49 pm
My German is rusty… And by rusty, I mean yo hablo español. But I did a google search for ‘german expressions’ and learned that “Bei ihm/ihr fällt der Groschen pfennigerweise,” means “In his/her case the dime falls more like a penny.” Kind of like saying, “A lightbulb comes on, but dimly.”
Ol’ Magnus wasn’t getting the kind of blonde haired play that he was looking for with his old Craigslist ad, so he reinvented himself! (And yes, it’s the same link from his original post here, he just put on his army hat from the William Rast collection, held up two-uh-deeez, and changed the words a little.)
NO MORE MR NICE GUY… THIS TIME IT”S FOR REAL – 26 (North Prairie, WI)
26 years old, 6′ 3″ 180lbs. Average body type, brown hair blue/gray eyes
Look… I am not looking for sluts or whores. I’m looking for a good CLEAN girl who’s up to going out with a guy like me. I will not take any bull shit so don’t fuck me around.
If you’re a smoker, pot head or any of that you just got the red light. Drinking is ok, just no 24/7 drunks.
I get freaked if you’re a girl who’s had more then one cock shoved into your pussy… so again… CLEAN women only. I my self am clean so… R-E-S-P-E-C-T
No Democrats… Fuck off if you are, Democrats piss me off to no end.
If you Ski you just got a BIG + to your name. Snowboarders ok… but two boards are better then one.
Well if you want more on me hit me up… where else do I have be??
Again… NO BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I NEVER! You just tossed your entire heritage away like that, Magnus? For what? Some clean Republican snow pussy?? Is that all?? Hundreds of years of Germanic legacy, all down the shitter. She doesn’t even have to be blonde anymore?!?!
*scoff*
Other possible titles for this post:
- I never knew I would actually be able to use the word Doppelgänger to describe an actual German!
- Gott helfe mir. Amen!
- He’s still wearing his dogtags.
- Is he doing the shocker?
And to end on a high note, aller guten dinge sind drei. (All good things come in threes.) You guys keep an eye out for his third edit. I’m really hoping he lets it all hang out. I’m not sure I’ve EVER wished for a man on a dating site to show his swastika tattoo.
Maybe next time he’ll reinvent himself as a struggling emo musician. I could totally see eyeliner on this dude.
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
23 Comments
Gott in Himmel. I’m almost wishing he’d do his third one.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
Dieser Arschloch kotzt mich an. Really though, maybe he’ll figure out what “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” spells in his next post. (It spells RESPEKT.)
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
Heee! This is totally and completely an Ali G. moment, people!
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
you know, his first post was mildly amusing in it’s requirements, but this is flat out offensive. i can’t imagine being a single woman, seeing this post, and thinking, “this douchebag is THE man for me.” Just the phrase with “cock shoved in your pussy” in the same sentence with “respect” is so out of whack, i don’t even know where to go with it. It’s just ugly.
Sorry – my snark-o-meter just got trumped by my indignant-o-meter.
Super Lurve
20 
0
“more than one cock”…at a time? I could see being freaked by that, yeah.
I think the only German we need to know for dealing with him is, “Nein!”
Super Lurve
17 
0
but I still look forward to the third version of his ad.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Rain, I was stuck on the parsing of that “more than one cock” as well. There are multiple possibilities: “only one cock in my girl’s pussy at a time,” OR “I only will shove mine in if we are in an exclusive relationship,” OR “I want a pristine pussy that has never before had a cock shoved in it.”
And if he is looking for a virgin, I can’t think of any BETTER way of luring them into his bed than suggesting that he wants to “shove his cock in her pussy.” What a compliment and turn on to clean, pure and respectable girls!
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
I’ve got the PERFECT lady for him! Only downside is she’s married with five kids. But he doesn’t put any restrictions on marital status so it might be ok. Though the LTR might not be ideal; he doesn’t look like the sort to have accrued a lot of flight miles, or at least not enough to take him to Alaska on a regular basis. Snow machines have two boards, is that close enought to skiing?
Super Lurve
7 
1
So if a girl has sex with one guy that has AIDS, he would consider her clean?
Super Lurve
9 
0
No matter how many diseases she has picked up from that one penis, yes, I think he would consider her clean. I mean, this guy isn’t all that bright, so I’m pretty sure he thinks that one can only get STIs from having multiple partners.
I’m not entirely convinced he could find his way into the most cavernous vagina, to be honest. He’d probably be going all “Where is it? I don’t see it. All I see is this bear trap that clanked shut as soon as I forcibly removed your clothes while sensually whispering passages from ‘Mein Kampf’ to you.”
Super Lurve
13 
2
I know, I know, rule 34, but is that even physically possible? I mean, without major deformities on someone’s part?
Love it or hate it?
1 
0
“Don’t fuck me around…”
Isn’t that why you’re on craigslist? You wanted someone to fuck you right? Someone who if I read the ad correctly is…
Hopefully a Virgin or close to it
Non Smoker
Social Drinker
Republican or at the very least Non-Democrat
Ski/Snowboarder
Non-Bitch
Sadly I fit some of these requirements, save for the fact that I’m a card carrying “bitch” and the fact that I take to snow sports like Paris Hilton takes to Adult Responsibility… and yet I’d never in a MILLION years go out with this tool.
I hate it when guys who have next to nothing going for them, roll out this long laundry list of demands. Who do you think you are dude? If the hottest guy in the world rolled out this list of demands my vag would probably still clank shut like beartrap. Time to reevaluate your dating priorities, home skillet.
Super Lurve
12 
0
Yes, ladies, there’s nothing more alluring in a potential mate than being grossly verbally abused before you even speak to the guy. And I love the turnaround–he was all Hitler Youth in his first ad, and now he’s emulating Dr. Dre?
Anybody else thinking Vanilla Ice here?
*snickers hard into morning coffee*
Super Lurve
8 
0
What a shame … I’m blonde, tall, have a German last name AND I ski — but I voted for Obama.
Oh, and I’m completely repulsed by everything about this guy. There is that.
Pity — I always wanted to be a breed mare/ hausfrau to a honky gangsta caveman in BFE, Wisconsin.
Super Lurve
17 
2
Holy sheet I didn’t think it could get any worse than yesterday’s. My close proximity to this..jungen..is unnerving. Is it evil that I have thoughts to lure this guy into the hood of Milwaukee and leave him stranded?
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
It’s always horrifying to realize you live nearby one of these wrecks. It just forces you to realize that people like this dude are truly out there, lurking around every street corner.
Love it or hate it?
2 
0
“If you Ski you just got a BIG + to your name.”
Does he really expect to receive so many applications that he will have to grade them?
Oh well, disappointment will match his complexion anyway.
Super Lurve
12 
0
I like to think he would literally add the + to your name.
“Congratulations, your name is no longer Katie… it is now Ka+ie. Danke Shoen for your interest in snow sports.”
Super Lurve
6 
0
Yanno, something tells me he isn’t really as picky as he claims. I’d be willing to bet he would fall to his knees in worship the first time a real live girl showed him half a boob. Number of cocks shoved betwixt her legs be damned!
Love it or hate it?
4 
0
Someone send him a link to Ms. “Food Salad” from awhile back. They’d make a cute couple.
Love it or hate it?
0 
0
Nein!!!!!! I really ashamed he has German blood in him. Why!?!?! It is not like our people have enough to be ashamed of…now this??!?!? Er ist verrückt!!!
Love it or hate it?
3 
0
The best part of him asking for a “clean” girl is the glaring cold sore on the side of his mouth!
Love it or hate it?
3 
0