Having said all that, I hate to cloud the issue even further, but there could be another valid reason for it. Someone above mentioned using tampons to staunch a nosebleed, and although I know people who do that, I ALSO know that saying, “Uh, yeah, this sounds weird but I get nosebleeds… stop laughing” is going to be less scary to most men than the prospect of their would-be fiancee walking out over a misunderstanding.

So I have to say that my first instinct when reading this was that the boyfriend may have been experimenting with anal play. It’s something that many men feel terribly uncomfortable admitting, but also very curious about. Introducing a small object into the anus during masturbation is pretty common. Most straight men won’t take on anything much bigger around than a finger (at least, not at first…) – a tampon would be just about the proper size and “texture” to provide a stimulation boost.

So… what if we have a boyfriend who’s about to experiment with a little auto-erotic anal stimulation? He shucks off his shoes, pants, and underwear, grabs a porn mag and some lotion, picks up the tampon and settles down on the bed. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, or someone opens a door down the hall, and the boyfriend realizes that his session is about to be interrupted. Oh shit! What if someone comes in and sees the tampon and realizes he’s into anal stimulation? His whole masculine identity will be threatened! Oh noes! His girlfriend will think he’s Teh Gay! Where to hide the tampon? Quick – stick it in the shoe, shove the shoe under the bed, scrabble back into the pants, and act normal! Then when she finds the tampon, he can’t possibly admit to any of this. He feels threatened and cornered, which leads to anger as (as has been mentioned) a diversionary tactic…

This of course begs the question of “where/how did he get just ONE tampon” or “why not use one of the girlfriend’s tampons” – but who knows.

This entire theory, it should be noted, is also dependent on the assumption that the boyfriend does not express an interest in anal play – it’s all predicated on the notion that he would want to keep this “experiment” secret at all costs – that he’s operating on the basis of “better for her to think I’m cheating than to realize I wanted to know how it felt to have something up my bum when I masturbated.”

If you ask me, though, I would consider the possibility of that scenario for a while… and then probably still decide that he’s cheating.

If I had considered that angle – and really used my brain instead of my insecurities and hormones to arrive at an answer – I could have saved myself, and my son, years of heartache and frustration.

Think about it. Where does the tampon go when you put it in your purse? The very bottom, right? Even if there was a trollop up in that joint, you would have more likely found lip gloss, a hair scrunchie, or something of that nature.

List of weird things includes:
-hamburger forgotten in my purse
-tampons in shoes, desk drawers, and lost in the couch (NOT USED)
-lipstick in my ex’s car, 4 YEARS after we broke up, found by his new wife.
-random phone numbers I accused my boyfriend of getting from women, but which I’d actually taken down and forgotten about.
-condoms in my glove compartment, courtesy of my roommate (and found by my Christian mother)

Yes, the trust issue is the real thing here. But like someone said above, check his reaction and actions afterward. Also, guys are stupid and he may think that blowing it off is the only way to not seem like he’s hiding something, even if he’s innocent.

If you CHOOSE to trust him and stay with him, remember it is a choice! And yeah, maybe keep your eyes open a bit.
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