Mr. Goodbar
Craigslist Crazies — By Jami on February 8, 2010 at 12:24 am
IM ATTARCTIVE MALE HERE WANT TO HAVE SEX – m4w – 29 (SOUTH SCRANTON)
HEY I WANT TO FUCK A WAMAN ALLDAY AND MAKE HER CUM AND LICK HER ASS AND HER PUSSY CLEAN I WANT TO FUCK SO HARD IN IIN A WAMN ASS SO HER BUT CAN GET BIG I WANT TO DRIP DROP A STRAWBERRY IN HER MOUTH AND MAKE HER KISS ME ALL NIGHT WITH HER TONGUE RAVASHING MY TONGUE AND THROAT I WANT HER TOO BEND OVER I WHILE I SLAP HER ASS AND USE NY TONGUE UP AND DOWN IN HER ASS AND PUSSY HOLE I WANT TO FUCK UNTIL SHE HAVE A BIGWATERFALL CUMMING DOWN MY 10INCHES FEMALES PLEASE COME AND GET ME IM AMAZING AND YOU WILL NEVER FOR GET MY SEX DRIVES THAT WAS INSIDE OF YOU
If you’re brave, click this link. It’s not safe for work, but it is HILARIOUS.
And after that, I’m not really sure what else I can say… Except that I’m not going to be able to look at, much less EAT a Mr. Goodbar ever again.
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49 Comments
THANK GOD IM NOT A WAMAN OR A WAMN
Super Lurve
16 
0
Did you click the link? BE BRAVE DUDE.
Love it or hate it?
4 
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I was brave, I clicked the link. All the brain bleach in the world won’t enable me to eat a Mr. Goodbar again.
*shudder*
Gimme a CLANK, Gimme a CLANK, CLANK shut after pics of dicks with Mr. Goodbar!
Super Lurve
6 
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Miller Lite just came out of my nose when I read “I WANT TO DRIP DROP A STRAWBERRY IN HER MOUTH.” Seriously, WTF does that even mean???
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3 
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I was wondering the same thing
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0 
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I thought it was an actual strawberry. Now I feel ashamed that it didn’t even occur to me that it was code for something else.
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2 
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He’s from Scranton (what?!?) The Electric City!
My favorite method of eating strawberries is via drip drop. Also, I think I need to add, “IM AMAZING AND YOU WILL NEVER FOR GET MY SEX DRIVES THAT WAS INSIDE OF YOU” to my dating profile. It’s sure to drive the menfolks wild.
Anyone else think this guy and Nick Cannon were separated at birth?
Super Lurve
13 
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I should have just left it when you warned, but curiosity got the better of me. How I wish I could unsee that. At least my diet will stay strong- no more candy cravings!
Super Lurve
6 
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Same here. I’m not too sure I want strawberries either though.
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2 
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I couldn’t click the link. Couldn’t. do. it. ahahaha. No brain bleach for me.
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2 
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Mr. Goodbar, bring me a dream
Give me a sex drive like I’ve never seen
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Goodbar, bring me a dream.
And a strawberry.
Super Lurve
35 
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Nieci, you rock. And awesome that you’re coming ’round these parts! (it’s sp)
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0 
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Whoa. Nieci? SP? It’s a small web when I actually leave the hermitage.
I clicked the link. Educational purposes only, you understand.
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0 
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“Looking for Mr. Goodbar”
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1 
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As opposed to “Mr. Good N’ Plenty”? How about “Mr. Reese’s Big Cup”? Or Mr. “Ooooooooh, Henry”?
Ah well, as long as he isn’t Chunky, Good N’ Fruity, or heaven forbid, a Whatchamacallit.
Super Lurve
12 
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Whoa, he wants to eat out a girl’s ass and then go directly to her pussy? That doesn’t sound hygienic.
Super Lurve
13 
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(sung to The “Candyman”)
Who can make your gorge rise?
Close your wimmen parts like glue?
Shudder in revulsion and throw up a little too?
Mr Goodbar can…
Super Lurve
23 
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I kinda feel woefully inadequate after viewing that picture. Mine is only “fun sized” in comparison.
Super Lurve
16 
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But you do realize that this joker took a picture of his penis and it is LAYING DOWN. Or shamefully looking at his feet… Giant cocks don’t ever get TOTALLY hard.
Big penises are fun to look at, but actually getting fucked really good by a big dick is a rarity. Plus, all the friction of being too full of cock can dry a bitch out.
Two cheers for average cocks! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!
Super Lurve
41 
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That’s the problem…he is bigger than The Size of Fun. Thus, droopiness. Sad, really.
Super Lurve
8 
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“Shamefully looking at his feet”. I literally just did a spit-take. Well played.
Hip, hip, hooray, for my average penis, then.
Super Lurve
6 
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If you were his cock, wouldn’t you be embarrassed??
Super Lurve
10 
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Well to be honest, my penis and I talked about it. We both are hanging our respective heads in shame for this guy. But we struck an accord, that I will not post a response picture of my cash and prizes next to a fun size bar. Purely for scale, I mean.
Super Lurve
14 
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If I were his cock, I’d be embarrassed to be attached to this guy, yes.
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4 
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hear hear! bigger ain’t necessarily better… it’s called ‘fun size’ for a reason
Super Lurve
5 
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Seriously, guys, repeat after me:
“It’s a cervix. Not a challenge.”
The cervix is built to be able to withstand quite a bit, but come on, you hit anything over and over after a certain amount of time, it’s going to HURT.
You know how women always dress for other women when we get gussied up, I think guys are like that with dick size. Other guys are the only ones that worry about it.
Super Lurve
7 
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OK, so I heard about this male porn star who reputedly has 14 inches, right? So I asked my gyn how deep most women are, and she said 6 or 7 inches. In other words, the guy with 14 inches isn’t really any better off than some random guy with 7 inches, at least not in that one particular category.
Personally, I share the opinion that it is better to be tickled than choked.
Super Lurve
12 
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Agreed!
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2 
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Penis, schmenis. Did you see those awesome CAR TIRES?
Super Lurve
7 
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I. Don’t. Know. What. To say.
This guy is honestly creepy, he obviously has a bit of a addiction to sex or something, just plain gross. I can’t say I would feel that bad for any woman (waman) who seriously answered him, I mean at least he warned them?If anything that’s the only good thing about this guy?
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3 
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I’ll never understand how da mens walk around with those things.
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3 
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looks like he took WAY to many of those penis enlargement pills advertised on porn sites. Like a couple hundred to many
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2 
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People only have so much blood. As far as I know, men don’t get extra blood for the sole purpose of dick inflation. That blood has to come from somewhere, and I’m inclined to think it’s the other head. If I’m correct, wouldn’t that mean the bigger the wang, the dumber the dude, at least during coitus?
Super Lurve
7 
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So far, your algorithm has been proven as truth, at least in my case.
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4 
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how can you tell the difference?
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3 
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Not exactly, see here’s the deal: We have two brains but can only run one at a time. So if the one below our belt buckle has been switched on, the one between our ears is put on ‘stand-by’ mode. Size isn’t an issue one way or another.
Super Lurve
8 
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Last time I heard anything about “Meeting Mr. Goodbar”, it was in reference to a classic horror movie about a woman picking up a guy who turned out to be a serial killer…
I wasn’t brave enough to try the link, but if he really did try to use a Mr Goodbar for scale, it’s creepy in more ways than one…
*Clankitty clank clank clank*
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2 
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I hope this dude talks like he writes. I met some dudes who talked like that all.the.time. when I worked at a downtown CVS!
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2 
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He might. I have a friend IRL that has an allcaps myspace, and he totally talks in an allcaps way, with no periods. Darn guy talks loud and rarely ever pauses when he’s talking.
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0 
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“I WANT TO FUCK SO HARD IN IIN A WAMN ASS SO HER BUT CAN GET BIG”
`
WTF? WTFF?? To deconstruct *all* the spelling, grammar, punctuation, comprehension, and attitude fails in this ad would take a book, but I’m actually baffled by the above sentence. To the best of my ability to translate, he’s saying: “I want to fuck so hard in a woman’s ass, so her butt can get big”. Butsecks makes a woman’s butt get bigger? First I’ve heard of it.
Super Lurve
9 
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It’s kinda like inflating a tire, apparently. Give new meaning to “penis pump,” though.
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4 
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“Gives,” that is. Proofreading seems to not be my forte.
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1 
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I hate to say this, but that picture made me think of cakewrecks, which has taught me how often frosting can look like poo or penises. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/search/label/Oh%20Poop Or penises look like frosting poo, I guess.
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4 
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Listen everyone, I think we’re missing an excellent matchmaking opportunity here. I present to you Droopy McChocoPeen’s true love:
Playgirl1957!!! She’s sexy, sensual and hot!
http://datewrecks.com/2010/01/he-said-she-said-you-said-i-think-her-eyes-are-following-me/
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2 
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I swear to God the first thing I said when I saw his picture was “It’s the Arsenio Hall show!!!”
I am too afraid to click the link.
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3 
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I clicked it! I clicked it! And made my boyfriend look too
I’m a terrible person
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1 
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“HEY I WANT TO LICK HER ASS AND HER PUSSY CLEAN … AND MAKE HER KISS ME ALL NIGHT WITH HER TONGUE RAVASHING MY TONGUE AND THROAT”
Not in that order, please!
Super Lurve
5 
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He’s like Smoove B’s less talented cousin.
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1 
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Smart and a snappy dresser (if you still dress like you came out of the fresh prince of Bel air), I’m the waman for him!
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0 
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