Without my G1, this post would have never happened.
You see, the other night I was over at a friend’s house watching a movie and pulled out my phone to check and see who had been stalking my profile on OkCupid. Remember, I’m um… Back in it. Or something. I don’t know. With the good comes the bad — constant access to the internet on my phone means too much access to the internet all.the.time.
*ahem*
Anyway, I login to OkCupid and WHAT DO KNOW?
I see something familiar… Something I haven’t seen in SUCH a very long time. Not something I’ve missed at all, but clearly, it’s been a while.
Ahhh… Surprise cock. On my OkCupid News Feed.
Be still my heart!
The GREAT news is that the OkPoPo is apparently working overtime because when I went back to check on his profile it was GONE! Yay, flagmods!
His user name was Uninhibited71 — doye, motherfuckers.
And here’s his pictures. And no, don’t WORRY. I’m not going to get you fired. The surprise cock will be behind a link and you can click if you wanna.
BEHOLD! SURPRISE COCK!
Oh, well… You know, whatever. He looks like your run-of-the-mill bar crawler dude that probably wears his ballcap too much because he’s got a receding hairline.
Ah, innit cute the way he’s choking that cute puppy? You’ll notice the hairline has been strategically cropped out of the photo.
Ahh… There’s that hairline! And apparently… Some kind of weird cavernous asshole. That’s… Something. I think his tattoo has tits and he’s wearing a gold chain.
Sometime around here, my phone ate one of his pictures. I’m a little disappointed. He was in a very similar… costume — naked with tube socks and white manties, reclining on his elbows. It was UNBELIEVABLE.
Keepin’ it classy, Johnny here felt like the center field fence at the little league baseball field would be the perfect backdrop to show you his boner in his Valentine’s Day boxers. It’s not creepy at all to think about those lifelike recreations of all the parents in the bleachers back there.
And then… Well, here we go folks. As far as cocks go, I suppose it’s not terrible. His two-tone dick matches his hairless balls PERFECTLY!
The Money Shot.
And GOD, does this not make you want to fuck him? OR like… DATE him? I can hardly contain myself.
:-/
That blue haired dude behind him on the mural is totally jockin’ his hairstyle.
