Edjukayshun. You’re Doing It Wrong.
OkStupid — By Jami on March 4, 2010 at 7:00 am
Elizabeth sends this submission in with this message:
Oh, OkCupid, the things you breed. I checked my mail today and 3 times in a row Zachary2009 sent me a message, all asking to meet with him tonight. The first for dinner, the second for dancing, and the third imploring “Come to me and I will take you to the beach.” All are signed off as Keith(I thought he was Zachary?) His profile? Even worse. And the pictures…don’t quite add up. It’s like a game of “Which of these doesn’t belong?”
Elizabeth is no rookie to online dating. She’s started a blog, My Single Shame, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all comes along. Even across the pond, the freaks are unleashed. But back to Keith… Er… I mean, Zachary?
In addition to Zachereith being really unclear on what his god damn name is, he seems to be unclear about what the “Job” box on OkCupid means because… Really… Education and Academia, Zach? REALLY? And you’re pulling $100-150K a year?
Really bad spellers CAN be really smart. But really stupid people can’t.
Also… I’m pretty sure that if Elizabeth was going to take the time to travel across the world to go on a cliche walk-on-the-beach date, she probably wouldn’t beeline it for New York. *shrug*
Introducing, Zachary2009:
Zachary2009
I am loving, humble, and giving.
My Self-Summary
“-One thing about me is u can always count on me to have your back in a relationship that’s me………………… : .I work hard and play harder.Love to travel.I want to travel too greece soon too see family there I cant wait:)I believe life is to short, people today take things for granted, I’m truly lucky to have a roof over my head, food and water and very fortunate for the things that I have in life. I’m a very down to earth type of person:)
What I’m doing with my life
Taking care of my house always fixing things with my home making it better………..a dj in the city ,I take time out in my life and I always visit children who have cancer and are in different hospitals and give them a smile by giving them toys …..)
I’m really good at
Skiing,snowboarding,soccer,fishing,surfing.
The first things people usually notice about me
Big blue eyes ,white teeth,big smile,dimples,and a great dresser:)
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
Love all books music, movies and sushi
The six things I could never do without
Beach ,,wine,family,phone,scratch-offs”i always win for some reason”_ and of course love:)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
changing the world
On a typical Friday night I am
Listening to music and making music in my studio, hitting a low low key bar ,walking the beach with a glass of wine.”popping champagne ”
You should message me if
If you are ready for fun and a serious relationship
If u love to laugh and have a good time i’m your man:)
BIIIIIIG sigh on my end here. But really… How in the WORLD can I make fun of a guy that always visits children who have cancer and are in different hospitals and gives them a smile by giving them toys??
I’m kind of a bitch, but seriously… Even I can’t touch that. Gah.
The really good news? Dude has, what appears to be TWO webcams (this must = $$$) and is really good at taking pictures of his profile…for his profile….?
AND! He’s got a nipple ring. SCORE. Or at least, you know… That one gay model in his bikini underpants does.
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20 Comments
Scratch-offs are one of the six things he could never do without? Is he referring to lottery tickets (clearly he’s a statistics professor!) or those “Grape Job!” scratch-n-sniff stickers?
Super Lurve
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Does Elizabeth really exist? Her site looks like its run by a web media agency…in which case, nice strategy iRelish.
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I’ve talked with her a little bit. I’m of the opinion that she does really exist. I can’t speak for who she works for, if she’s working for anybody.
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wait! I exist, but that is not my site! I sent you the email but never heard back from you. Then I caught this surprise today that another me exists?
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HA! How weird!
I’ll edit the post. There was a girl named Elizabeth, the owner of that website, that emailed me on the SAME DAY — I think even within an hour or something — of this Elizabeth. How weird. I just figured it was her.
Haha. Woops.
My B, Elizabeth. And Elizabeth.
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Was this really a m4w post?
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“Love all books music, movies and sushi”
Someone who loves Barbara Cartland and William Luther Pierce and Nancy A. Collins and Charles Bukowski and Martin Heidegger and Lawrence Durrell(and that’s only for books) can’t be bad, can he? Maybe a little confused.
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“I was beaten with hardcover copies of Tom Clancy books… Although, admittedly, that’s less painful than reading them.”
– Sideshow Bob Terwilliger
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Why are your sunglasses always on your head? INSIDE the house? Dickwad.
That is all.
Super Lurve
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OMG the sunglasses. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. Ugh.
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That muscled torso? Soooo not the same guy.
Super Lurve
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Yeah. My first thought on reading the text of the ad was, “He’s Greek, so no way he’s that hairless.”
Super Lurve
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I second Ratwoman, no way in hell those are his abs!
Why would you ever need two webcams? So you can jerk it on ChatRoulette in split screen? He should at least change his facial expression, I mean he took the time to wear different outfits, how hard could a smile be?
Super Lurve
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Agreed, even a guy with a great profile would turn me off somewhat if he never smiled in his pics.
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His facial expression in the pics somehow manages to radiate both sullenness and conceit.
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I loved that this guy said he earned over 100k, but he works as a dj in the city. I never knew dj’s pulled down that kind of dough.
That and he’s a self-proclaimed ‘great dresser.” Is he referring to the different polos, pleather jacket, and sunglass-headband?
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Dough? Don’t you mean DJs don’t pull down that kind of… wait for it… SCRATCH?!
HAR HAR HAR. Ba-dum CHING!
Super Lurve
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ok… because you can play pirated music in Second Life, doesn’t mean you are a “DJ in the City”.
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I know I’ll probably die some terrible death for this, but this is what any mention of visiting kids with cancer reminds me of:
http://www.videovat.com/videos/970/dave-chappelle-playstation.aspx
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In his defense, people in academics can make a really good living (well over 100k depending on the field). However, people in academics + dj’ing normally don’t go hand in hand. If he has to dj for money on the weekends, then he’s probably in English, philosophy, or history. Given his spelling, I’ll just go with big ‘ole liar.
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