You ever heard the term sleeper?
Urban Dictionary says: Often reffering to what appears to be a ordinary looking stock commuter car that is anything but stock under the hood.
I also like this definition: Outwardly common looking item, that possesses something special or unique inside.
So what does this scintilating vocabulary lesson have to do with Date Wrecks?
I’ve got a sleeper creep for you today.
A sleeper creep is that which appears to be a regular, normal dater on your dating website. He likely has a regular, normal job. He probably dresses pretty generically. In some cases, he’ll profess to being particularly religious, straight edge, and a lover of small animals and children.
Not necessarily someone that would stand out to you, the sleeper creep will either proposition you via instant message or email and he may even send you a picture of his cock!
The great magic of the sleeper creep is that he is totally stupid and powerless. A dude that will post his dick right on his profile is comfortable with people thinking he’s a creep with his cock in your eyeball. But a sleeper creep? It’s so fun! Because now we can ridicule him and expose him for what he really is! He probably doesn’t want ANYBODY to know what a freak he really is!
Yay!
Our sleeper creep today is lowkeyi4me, a 36 year old man from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He’s never been married and has no children and works as a photographer. Everything seems okay, right?
Even his pictures… They’re totally fine:
Nothing that brings up red flags right?
Here’s the email he sent to a 21-year old college co-ed who is specific on her profile that she is only seeking new friends:
if u r up for a great oral experience, and just that, id love to give u that. have a desire to just give oral pleasure to a petite asian cutie…asking for nothing in return from you, other than a few sighs, moans and hopefully an orgasm or two. lol let me know either way if u might b up for this? feel free to ask if u have any questions. again, i am serious bout this request, but also am not wanting to offend you…but one never knows unless they ask right? lol
andy
Alright, let me tell you something, you giggly motherfucker lol. You’re disgusting. Reading this email, my face scrunched up and I furrowed my brow lol. I had a really intense desire to track you down and find out which church you’re attending mass at where you’re “somewhat seriously” practicing being a good Catholic lol. Â I’m sure when you were in college, you were this dashing meathead of a frat boy and panties dropped at the near mention of your name, but seriously lol… That was a long time ago. We all know that you and your thick necked, perverted self probably work for your dad who is one of the photographers that goes around to the tee-ball fields and lines up nose-picking rugrats for portraits. Your job is probably to make sure that all the lenses are in the right compartments of daddy’s camera bag.
I just don’t have any respect for sleeper creeps. If you want to lick some “petite asian cuties” just come out with it, ya fucking douche! One never knows unless they ask…! Fuck you, Andy. You totally just got busted.
