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Friday February 10th 2012

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    Nigerian Dating Scam

    Emily: He messaged me while I was checking my messages. I clicked through to his profile while we chatted. Okay, I just looked at his pics and ignored the profile.

    Jami: Mrawr. Hello, occifer.

    Tunnellife1 225x300 Nigerian Dating Scam

    Tunnellife2 300x224 Nigerian Dating Scam

    Emily: Cute, yeah? Kinda? Uniform and all, y’all.

    Jami: I’ll say. Let’s hope those shades are military issued though because I don’t like those at all.

    Emily: He said he was from a small town in Texas. I asked which one and he said… Dallas. Dallas is many things in Texas. A “small” town? Not so much. So we simply MUST look at his profile:

    tunnellife

    41 / M / Straight / Single

    Tuscaloosa, Alabama (471 miles)

    I am Simple, Easy-Going, and principled.

    My Self-Summary

    I grew up traveling the world, both personally and professionally, and gained experience through different cultures and societies. I love to ride motorcycles, still travel often, sail boats when I get the chance, and read as often as I can.

    I have lots of friends scattered about the globe and feel that the diversity that I have experienced has really molded my character. I am very tolerant and patient and a devoted individual.

    I would like to meet someone to enjoy all the things that are available in life. For some this would be enjoying a ride through country roads on a weekend, enjoying a great dinner, dancing, or listening to a great live band. I am all about having fun without the pressure of “what is the next step.” If something develops out of our encounters that is more serious; that is great.

    But if the relationship were to be serious, my real “ideal mate” must understand what a real relationship is. Since I like to read, I have studied many ancient writings through my travels. Some I live by and some I take to heart

    What I’m doing with my life

    I am looking for Love as its once left me. This time am ready to Hold tight to it.

    I’m really good at

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…… Playing Instrument and dancing when possible with my friends..

    The first things people usually notice about me

    My eyes.. Blue like the clouds..

    My favorite books, movies, music, and food

    Mills and Boom

    Best Sellers

    The six things I could never do without

    Eat
    Sleep
    Dancing
    Instrument Playing
    Football
    Counseling

    I spend a lot of time thinking about

    About How i am going to be the Future Counseling Pro of All time..

    On a typical Friday night I am

    I am home sleeping or reading..

    You should message me if

    if you think I spark your light… LOL

    Emily: That first sentence is a.ma.zing. And long. And I have studied many ancient cow patties. This smells just like one.

    Jami: Mmm… Love that smell.

    Emily: “Playing Instrument.” Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, y’all.

    Jami: You mean, “Jokes writing selfs.”

    Emily: Uhm. I really don’t want to know what kind of pollution is in the area that would make the clouds blue. I’m certainly not going there though. Nor would I be interested in dating (or anything else) someone with eyes blue like the clouds…

    Jami: I have eyes green, like LA Smog.

    Emily: I’m glad he admitted he needed counseling. That’s a good place to start. Also, I like how we go from “eat sleep” to “dancing, playing”. Verb usage: learn it.

    Jami: He’s just peppering things up — making sure you’re paying attention.

    Emily: “….Future Counseling Pro of All time.” Is there some sort of pro bowl for Counseling that I didn’t know about? Padding, helmet and guards? Uniform?

    Jami: SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! Watch as these Sultans of Psychology go head-to-head to battle it out to the DEATH!

    Emily: Which does not necessarily match up with fatigues and being stationed outside the US. Don’t step in that one, y’all! It’s a REAL stinker.

    Jami: You mean they’re actually like, fighting over there? There’s a war? Say what!?

    Emily: “Spark your light.” There’s not a soldier on the planet that would publish a line like that. At least…I don’t think.

    Jami: I have only known a handful of soldiers personally and I would be inclined to agree with you. But maybe he’s your diamond in the rough?

    Emily: I called bullshit when he messaged me again. He asked me to turn on my webcam. I declined, but told him he’s more than welcome to turn his on. He said…

    i have found that women fall in love with pictures and not the person in real
    a real person
    the you need to see me
    accept it and see me now honey

    Emily: So I did. The result?

    NotFredKells 300x224 Nigerian Dating Scam

    Emily: Seriously.

    Jami: [gaping jaw] No.Fucking.Way. Those fatigues really change his appearance. Who knew that under every dusty, camo-clad military professional there was a teenage Nigerian scammer.

    pixel Nigerian Dating Scam

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